Thinking About Things
I try to own when I screw up. But on the other hand, it was my mistake to ever let anyone know about this web-site. I have tried to be transparent, but on the other hand, by doing that, I tend to hurt people’s feelings. And on the other hand, I have those hurt feelings too.
It’s a double-edged sword. No one’s right. No one’s wrong.
So I’m trying to do better. It’s a hard thing sometimes, but this advice has been invaluable. And God knows, I’ve taken the heat, some deserved, some not. I thought about moving it to something more anonymous. But then that’s sort of cheating.
And on the other hand, I’m not always wrong, nor am I always right. I’m human.
I just am.
So here we go with some good advice for anyone in managment.
1. Own it.
While many of us would prefer to forget our mistakes, initially you need to acknowledge to your supervisor and everyone involved that you’re accepting responsibility for what went wrong. If you do this right (that is, seriously and sincerely), you’ll only have to do it once.
2. Take the heat.
You may get teased by from coworkers for a long time to come. Accept gentle ribbing with a wink and a smile. However, don’t take blatant abuse from someone who can’t get past what happened. If a colleague’s teasing becomes taunting, speak with your supervisor and a human resources representative.
3. Don’t beat yourself up.
It does no good to dwell on your mistakes, which can lead to doubting your competence. “This type of thinking is actually self-destructive and only serves to hamper future effectiveness,” says Liz Bywater, president of Bywater Consulting Group, a Philadelphia-based firm focused on optimizing organizational performance. “Remember: Failure is not in the falling down but in the staying down.”
4. Learn from the past.
Solicit advice from your boss and trusted associates to help you analyze what went wrong and how you might’ve avoided the error entirely. Go back in the process as long as is necessary; however, be careful to avoid blaming anyone else, despite what you may uncover. Just learn from your own mistakes.
5. Keep it in perspective.
Seek a broad view of your career and accomplishments. “Chances are, you’ve experienced at least as many successes as failures,” Bywater says. “It’s the successes that deserve your greatest attention. Learn from them and continue to build upon your strengths.”
6. Move on.
You’ve apologized. You’ve taken your lumps. You’ve analyzed where you went wrong. Now, it’s time to move on. Don’t raise the topic of your mistake again. Your boss and coworkers want to move past this as much you do; continue to look to the future and don’t allow your career or day-to-day performance to be marred by one error.
Man, Have I made some colossal mistakes. But then again, I’ve done some good as well. So there is that middle ground we all must find to be better.
I liked this post. It’s about many things, some that are unsaid.
I also liked that it was about accepting responsibility, moving forward and getting things done. I can take the heat, but I don’t have to be the goat either. It’s a balance.
And that’s a good thing. Because it’s moving me in a forward direction. And I think it’s fair to everyone. Including me and the people I care about.
About the mistake in letting anyone you know know about the blog… eh, someone would have likely found it/figured it out anyway. And then it probably would have been worse, so might as well be upfront (to a point anyway) about it.
Every once in a while someone I know will show up at my place and I think “eh, I’d just as soon have not ever known you were here”. And other times it’s good. In ten years I’ve just learned to expect the unexpected. I’ve learned too that for the most part, the small town folk just aren’t that interested. They may show up but don’t usually stick around.
Well, I was so proud of it and my ego got in the way.
You know what I’m talking about, so the censoring has begun about certain things.
Just happens, I guess.
You coming up for Lunch with Sista??
That advice is good for anyone, certainly not just management types. I’m sorry i don’t understand what you are talking about with regard to your blog, did i miss something? My problem is that I have so many to read, and i try to go to each one daily, but i don’t always leave a reply, partly due to the obvious time restraints, but sometimes, it’s all been said. It gets even weirder when you meet some bloggers, and i have to say i have liked most all of them. The trick for me is to not let that personal link make me pull my punches. Am I off topic? Rats.
Nope, you aren’t off topic at all.
It’s just a transition I think between being transparent and not being.
It’s sort of odd, in the long run. I’m transparent in my personal life and my blogging life, but occasionally it bites me in the ass.
It’s not always easy.
So, I wonder, as we have sorta discussed transparency before, is it worth it?
I think it is, but there is a price to pay.
And the advice I linked to was good, but it wasn’t mine.
I’m not that smart.
Yup. Barring any more snow & ice, I shall be at the ‘Ship around noonish. See you there…. SQ will still be in town too, right? Hope so.
This is a really well written post. I went through something similar with my life and blog and it killed it. I understand the balance that you are trying to achieve and I admire you for it. Well done. I think I will print this out just to refer back to from time to time.
**Long time lurker, first time commenter.
hmmm, yeah, I had someone once tell me that my transparency (on my blog) led them to believe that I was either an excellent blogger or an inexperienced one who gave up too much info.
I’ll see you Saturday!