Well, it’s been determined that vampires do not exist. According to Collission Detection, scientifically it just couldn’t be feasible.
Apparently it has to do with basic math.
One of the most totally fun areas of publishing in recent years has been the emergence of books that probe the scientific bases of fictional universes — like The Physics of Star Tre or The Science of Star Wars. Thus I was tickled to discover a paper called “Ghosts, Vampires and Goblins: Cinema Fiction vs. Physics Reality”, authored by Costas Efthimiou and Sohang Gandi (PDF here). Among their conclusions? Vampires can’t exist.
Why? Because they’d quickly depopulate the earth. To prove it, the scientists do some calculations by picking a random year in history — 1600, specifically — and imagining what would happen if one person suddenly appeared on earth. They assume, for the sake of argument, that a vampire needs to feed “only once a month”, and that in the course of feeding, the vampire turns its victim into another vampire. They note that the global population of humans was 536,870,911 in the year 1600.
Then the calculations begin.
I find this all to be highly amusing. Math disproves vampires. I have never seen a vampire although I’ve met a few fun vampires in my life, who such the joy out of a room. I guess they don’t count though, just the bloodsucking variety.