Newscoma

I write about fearlessness sometimes. There are times I’m fearless. There are other times that I am not.

I’m a pretty tough cookie. Rough around the edges, saucy sometimes. I’m pretty confident most of the time. I’ll tell you I don’t care what you think and 90 percent of the time that’s true. If I care about you, I can get my feelings hurt just like anyone else. We are all this way to a degree with different varying levels.

Thus being a human being. A few months ago, I had a rift with myself. I was in a funk over some situational stuff that threw me into a wall, making me feel insignificant. Not proud I felt that way, but it’s how I felt so there you go.

So, despite people thinking I was just lying around like a goat, I took to my safe space and decided to learn something I wasn’t familiar with and try to move forward. It was hard.

Fear usually incites any of us to retreat to a safe space of habit and normalcy, even if that place isn’t healthy. Fear locks us away. Fear doesn’t allow us to feel joy because getting out of the fear toward something that will truly make us happy seems like an undeniable, deep rock-filled gorge filled with the unknown we have to crawl down and the prospect of getting up the other side seems terrifying.

So, I started pushing myself. Tried to get out of that gorge that I was dealing with and realized the only thing I could do was toss caution to the wind and start running. And even if I was running in place, that was okay too.

And, today, all the hard work has come into focus. And, temporarily at least, moving through the fear and persevering has paid off.

I’m delighted. A bit tired and honored that what I thought was lost has been found.

Now, back to fear.

If you are kind, you won’t always be treated kindly. If you are heroic, there is still a car payment looming in the future and you gotta take care of that. If  you play games with other people trying to minimize them, karma is a bitch and it will come back and kick you in the butt. I believe this.

And I also believe that it’s up to ourselves to find that place in ourselves to come out of the darkness and into the light, you have to make that commitment. It’s easier to promise someone else something but when making that commitment to one’s self is a hell of a lot harder.  But if someone puts a hand out to help you across the jagged rocks in that gorge, take it. Take it every single time because it means they either came down to get you up the side of that ragged hill out of the gorge. Or, they are down there with you and need your hand as much as you need theirs.

And remember we all go through it. And if we go through it together, it gives us power. And it slaps fear in the face.

So being fearless is some scary stuff. Do something that scares you, and although it’s cliche, it’s true.

Newscoma waxing philosophical. Be good to yourselves. And today, I’m going to be good to me.