NewscomaGot A Two-Pack Habit And A Motel Tan

Another middle-aged moment brought to you by Newscoma:

First of all, I look like poo in pictures. You can take a thousand of them but I always look like the Jason Lee’s character in My Name Is Earl. My eyes are either closed or I look high on meth. My hair is ratty and I look like I just got back from the demolition derby where we drank a great deal of Country Club beer and smoked Lucky Strikes.

I sometimes wonder if my nieces will remember what I look like. I have a bit of swagger, but how the heck do you convey personality into a picture. Sometimes I think you could bring Annie Leibowitz in with a million dollar crew and I will still have a Phyllis Diller like quality about me. Which is fine actually, cause she’s a thousand years old, still alive and cackles a lot. Yeah, I could live that way.

Now with that said, I need a new photo for the day job. I have been to some of the local photographers and I tend to look like, well, this:

So, I need a bit of help. I lost my one bag of make-up long ago, my hair is just plum big and I tend to look like I have a nasty disposition at all times, sort of like both Condi Rice and Hillary Clinton combined at a drag show if that’s possible.

I’m being very non-partisan about this.

So, on my quest, wish me well. Let’s hope there is no chin hair, stink eye or goo hanging out of my facial orifices.

P.S. I’m really phobic about this. But then again, not. I could always use this picture ’cause it’s pretty damned cute:

Mabel Porn, 2007