A Letter To Washington
Dear Washington White House Folks and Private Companies,
You can spy on me if you want. I will go ahead and tell you about myself and then you can go check it out.
- I have four dogs: Mabel, Duff, Kirby and Jura. Jura was named after Scotch. Yeah, I know. Sue me.
- I like mystical things.
- I think Ding Dongs are the grossest yet most wonderful food ever invented other than pickled okra. I buy them both.
- I watch Reality Television. I think they should do a show on the president. I am sure it would be entertaining.
- I make mistakes. It’s a human thing. Mistakes, I repeat, were made.
- I like Bass Beer and Miller Lite when I cannot find Bass Beer. I don’t like Coors Light. Don’t tell Lee. I do think the mountains that change colors on the bottle to indicate when it’s cold and hot is cool. The German taught me this on Saturday. The German is also really cool.
- I hate it when people misunderstand me. Especially when I’m trying to do what I perceive is the right thing.
- I do not like Joe Leiberman. I realize he’s your friend these days.
- My cellphone officially bit the dust today. You don’t have to monitor me as I will be on my niece’s phone as I really don’t have the do-re-mi to go and get the phone I want. Please, it was me on this 11 yr. old’s phone if you hear anything suspicious.
- Elvis Impersonators seeing a woman back into my car was not a fine, sweet tale. IT WAS TRUE.
- I like men with long hair that dangles in their face.
- Cave Crickets could be the next weapon of mass destruction if I, indeed, was your enemy.
So there you go.
I miss the government that my grandfather loved. And he was a Republican,
Yours truly,
Newscoma
Vicariously: Serving instead of someone or something else. Performed or suffered by one person as a substitute for another or to the benefit or advantage of another. Experienced or realized through imaginative or sympathetic participation in the experience of another. Occurring in an unexpected or abnormal part of the body instead of the usual one
You should write for the Tennessean. You’d fit right in
Anon,
You win. I’ve worked like a dog all day and I didn’t have a copy editor on my blog.
Just writing for fun.
And if the Tennessean wants to pay me, I’ll take the cash.
I took it out for you.
Thanks for the snark. I appreciate it.
Going to pass out now from exhaustion.
Man, I thought newspapers were hard.
Pickled okra? I dunno about all that.
Do you want me to edit the Pickled Okra out?
Heh.
They are weird.
Seriously weird but I like ‘em.
Haha, no. They’re okay to leave included, I just… where do you even find this stuff?
because now I have the urge to buy some pickled okra, or eat pickles with Oprah. either way.
I must tell you that the German is delighted when he gets mentioned. He is quite smitten with you, SQ and Badger. He so enjoyed hanging out with everyone.
Good times.