Newscoma

Go right here right now, hit the play button when you get to Mike’s house.

Don’t argue with me. I’m right on this one.

Is it wrong to want to pull my hair out and gnash my teeth.

I’m a child of the 70’s.

The Wide World of Sports was the big deal when I was a little kid, which means the Evel was the man.

He was pretty groovy in his Elvis outfits and the fact that he was the face of fearless when I was a little kid. I was nine when he did the whole Snake River thing.

Wow.

Evel Knievel died Friday after 69 years, which is more than twice as long as it by all rights should have taken him. Knievel, who had been in poor health for years from conditions including diabetes and hepatitis C, was best known for his death-defying jumps on motorcycles (and other vehicles) in the 1960s and ’70s. But really the stuntman, born Robert Craig Knievel Jr., was best known, and loved, for his crashes.

Man, the crashes were amazing.

So, Evel, thanks for the fun, the laughter and the tears. You have been missed for 30 years, but when you were in your prime, you were fantastic.

I miss those crashes. These kids on reality shows can’t compare to Evel.

He was the man.

CNN’ Political Ticker is reporting this:

Police were responding Friday to a hostage situation at the presidential campaign office of Sen. Hillary Clinton in Rochester, N.H.

Maj. Michael Hambrook of the New Hampshire State Police told WMUR-TV in Boston that an armed man believed to be carrying a bomb walked into the office about 1 p.m. Hambrook said two people were believed to be inside.

Jeez.

This picture was taken a few weeks ago when I read to some kids at an afterschool program. I forgot that the picture had been taken, quite frankly, but for once I don’t look like Jason Lee in a mugshot from “My Name is Earl.”

These kids are fantastic, and the photographer is amazing. He’s a man named Robert Nunley and he’s going to be setting up a blog about the kids’ lives before the end of the year. Robert’s work is just fantastic.

And I look alright, for once. Robert is a miracle worker, I’m telling you.

Yeah, you didn’t know I was an old lady, didja?

Most days, I’m not a Gov. Phil Bredesen fan, I’ll be honest. He’s just way too Republican for me to be a Democrat. But, I gotta give the guy credit for taking up for the Sunshine Law of this state.

The governor said he had to change his view on the issue of open government when he first made the transition to government from the business world.

“I was flabbergasted and appalled at how you had to do business,” he said. “It just seemed to me almost impossible to hire people and do business.”

But over the years, Bredesen said he’s come to embrace the open government rules.

“I’ve come to realize you can work in this environment,” he said. “Yes, it has a substantial load attached to it in terms of how efficiently you can make decisions … but in the end government just works better if you come down on that side of it.”

And, I also believe that although government should run efficiently, it shouldn’t be convenient for the few in charge. That’s why it needs to be done where the public, which is the boss because it’s our money paying the bills, knows what’s going on.

I have heard from elected officials in my little sphere of the world for years the old “but we are friends” or “we go to church together.”

Well, just follow the rules and don’t talk about government business. Talk about your cats, your wife, the latest gossip on the street, Britney Spears, or the presidential election. If you were clever enough to get elected, then you should be clever enough not to follow those lame excuses and bring them up in defending the weakening of the law.

We follow the rules as private citizens.

This entire situation still just makes me shake my head .

As I woke up at 2:45 this morning, as I sometimes do, realizing that I thought I had beat my cold back down into the trenches and then waking up in a puddle of snot, I did what any person would do when they are drowning.

I just got up.

The dogs (all three of them) decided they were hungry and needed to eat something because God forbid they hadn’t eaten in about, oh I don’t know, three hours so off I went in search of kibble.

Why am I telling you this at (let me check the clock) 4:30 a.m?

Because sometimes, in the middle of the night when all that remains in the darkness is a lit laptop screen and a befuddled mind, you find wonderful things on the innertubes.

I’m not a baby boomer. I’m that lost generation that doesn’t really have a name that came after the boomers and before Generation X, Y and Z (that’s next, I’m assuming.)  So sometimes I just haunt the internet looking for things to amuse me in the middle of the night until Star Trek comes on at 5 a.m.

Yeah, I got a schedule. You got a problem with that?

So, I go over to Ken Levine’s blog because I like it and he linked to a blog that has entertained me all throughout these early morning hours.

Lloyd Thaxton’s blog rocks. If you don’t know who Lloyd Thaxton is, you whippersnappers, then go here and it will be explained. Or at least alluded to as I am linking to Wikipedia. Thaxton reminisces about television in the ’60’s (and man, does he have some tales to tell), comments on why Britney Spears is a “bad-mouther” because there is beauty in lip-synching and some political stuff but mainly it’s about the celebrities of the past.

When I was growing up, we had four television channels (of course, my father, Big Daddy, would say “We didn’t have a TV and I walked 35 miles in the snow so shut your trap, kid.” Not really, but sorta).

After school, Homer (the sis) and I had a schedule of watching Gilligan’s Island, The Beverly Hillibillies, I recall Hogans Heroes coming on for awhile before I learned about the sordid past of Bob Crane and then our version of “Dance Party” (actually, I can’t remember the exact name other than it was filmed in Paducah). And, by God, we were to watch Days of Our Lives if we were at my grandmother’s house.

Ahh, Macdonald Carey’s voice at the beginning of each show became a staple in our lives. I also recall watching some soap called “The Doctors” as well. And Barnabas on Dark Shadows.

I haven’t seen a soap in years, but Barnabas was bad ass.

When we got cable, man, the world changed. I go back to not being an official “boomer” and not being part of any of the other generations with cool names because I was at the end of one phase and then in the beginning of new ones but not quite IN either one.

So, yeah, television for me is nostalgic. And reading Thaxton’s blog (just a little free one like mine is which also makes me smile that he’s giving these memories and recollections away for nothing) I remembered those afternoons when I was a kid. When I would dance to the television set, when I thought working at a television station like Mary Tyler Moore did would be the grooviest thing ever and how I wanted to do the weather like Ted Baxter and that I did, indeed, want to marry Steve McQueen.

I guess I need to go yell at some kids to get off my lawn now. (Hint: Getting older can be more than alright. You just have to get the hang of it, that’s all.)

We torment them.

I give you a video of Squirrel Queen’s mom, who had no idea that I was shooting a video of her at the Thanksgiving Roast Beast celebration.

Listen for her “Heh” at the end.

[youtube=[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D0qsYVRIfE&rel=1]

Yeah, it’s the Turkey Dance.

The woman really has rhythm. Seriously.

That this dog should work for Santa:

Mabel is one fine elf …

But she’s not fond of the Paparazzi.

I’m having keeping up with all of these days. I really need to practice better time management.

I’m guessing you better get busy dosey-do-ing.

Come on. Get in the holiday spirit with a Zombie Christmas.

 You know you want to.

I started out my day yesterday by rooting around the FM dial on my way to work when I heard the voice of Steve Gill. Before I knew what happened, my hand went flying to the buttons to turn him off quicker than any one of my animals will sniff their own hineys while company is over.

Yeah, it was that fast.

Warren Zevon came on. Not only did this action save my sanity, but it made me smile. There is nothing like being in the car singing to the top of your lungs (what’s left of mine, anyway) “LITTT-EL OLE LADY GOT MUTILATED LATE LAST NIGHT!!!”

Yup, Werewolves of London again.

I knew it was going to be an ok day after that, then I got to meet Holly, and I have to tell you, I don’t think I’ve ever met a more genuine person. What a lovely woman. It was a mini-blogger meet-up in Hooterville.

Despite my continual loss of organs this past week, yesterday turned out to be more than all right.

As I have been sick this week, chief staff writer extraordinaire at our humble abode, the fabulous Ms. Bates, has been kicking up the dust. She’s good at that. This woman knows her stuff and has a nose for news like nobody’s business.

In the old days (back when dinosaurs smoked cigarettes when I was a cub reporter) the police departments in Hooterville’s rolling hills would call us all the time with news stories. Those days are no longer really available (try getting a report from the Tennessee Highway Patrol, it ain’t easy, I’m telling you.)

So Ms. Bates was rooting around some dockets seeing if anyone had been arrested for anything unusual. I would say that she hit the motherload.

She found a story about an alleged statutory rape charge that had a bit of a twist.

Here’s what she found:

A convicted sex offender is being housed at the Weakley County Detention Center after she was accused of committing the same crime that landed her on the sex offender registry earlier this year.
Alexander David Cross, also known as Elaine Ann Cross, of Snyder Road in Martin has been charged with aggravated statutory rape for her alleged sexual relations with a 16 year old.
This, according to reports, is not the first time that Cross has done this.

As we kept digging, apparently Cross was the belle of the Chattanooga media back in the spring when she was housed for the same crime in Hamilton County’s jail. Apparently it took those folks 10 days to figure out the Alexander was a woman.

This person, Cross, had been in the Hamilton County Jail awaiting a court date. After 10 days of not taking a shower, jailers forced the inmate to do so. Surprise! surprise! Officials at the jail found out that Cross was no man at all, but was a woman. “After about ten days in jail they figure out that Alexander David Cross is a female,” prosecutor Boyd Patterson said in court. Ms. Cross was immediately “moved to female isolation” upon finding out, the prosecutor went on to say.

The story is unique and Ms. Bates knew it. A little more digging and she determined that Cross has been featured on ABC news and was even in USA Today. It even hit an Australian blog.

Apparently Cross’ victims are both minors and had no idea that she wasn’t a man. The one in Chattanooga reported that she was in love with Cross and had contemplated marrying him/her before she found out he was a woman. I’ll add that Cross is 42-years-old and is currently on the Tennessee Sex Offenders Registry.

From a newspaper perspective, I have a feeling that Ms. Bates will be getting a few calls today.