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As I’ve wanted to be Tim Gunn’s best friend since Project Runway began a few years back, I’m intrigued by these fashion diva guys doing makeovers on real women. The latest to join this trend is Carson Kressley, whom I would like to have a martini with (vodka, not gin, with three olives.)

As a woman who up until recently had some self-image issues which have diminished a bit over the years as I’ve gotten older, I just don’t seem to care as much but then again I guess I do if I’m writing this post. But then I’ll watch these shows (I’m really bad of getting involved with something online and look up and they are on and then I cannot look away. This happened when America’s Next Top Model was on a few weeks ago nonstop (it was a bit much) which made me feel like I’d lose a beauty pageant with a fainting goat but did make me get the photoshop out and mess around with it.)

So, I’m interested that real-sized women are being focused on in Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style and How to Look Good Naked. (I’ll admit, I’ve only seen one Kressley show, but it intrigued me.) I’ll be honest, I only really paid attention to Carson’s show because I tried to win a trip to NYC. I had a few beers and thought, what the hell. Maybe today is my lucky day.

I digress.

The issue of body image was huge for me when I was a kid and lasted until I was in my mid-thirties. I could give you a plethora of reasons for this but I won’t. If you ‘ve gone through this, you know how it happens. I had a decent, if not unusual childhood, so I’m not going to list a bunch of things about it. It was what it was.

Then I realized I just didn’t care because it was easier that way. I would love to dress up but being a larger-sized woman hasn’t always given me the options. I don’t want to wear a tent and some of the styles are just of the suck. As over the past three years, I’ve dropped about 85 lbs, I find myself curious but then again, dismissive, then curious again. I think panty-hose are evil and I blew my knee a few years back and heels aren’t just an option as a torn, and repaired, meniscus makes me a walk a bit like putting my dog Mabel on a skateboard. It just doesn’t work. (Sidebar: I used to dress up a lot, wore the heels, did the make-up and although sometimes I enjoyed it, it didn’t sweep me with a white light from the heavens. I also want to do it because I want to do it, not because others expect it from me.)

Where is this going?

Yeah, I’d love to hang out with Tim Gunn and Carson Kressley and let them tell me how to dress a bit better. I admit it. I’m a girl. And I like that the self-image stereotypes are sort of blasted by these two new shows.  And, big secret, I love wearing lipstick. But I’m not cool with mascara as it makes my eyes bleed black and I look like a fortiesh woman trying to look Emo. I’m not down with that.

So, Carson, you want me to get naked and feel groovy about it, hell I’ll do it.