Newscoma

Dear Friends, Family, Strangers, Blogreaders, Woman At Fred’s Earlier, Anyone Else,

I do not have fluchitis™ but instead a nasty bout of Bronchitis and some kind of pulmonary infection that has a name that just pissed me off because I can’t remember it. All I know is I’m not expanding/collapsing right but it should be okay.

I took some antibiotics that didn’t apparently agree with me and that was why I thought I had the flu as it made me sick as a dawg. My cool nurse practitioner was very sweet and gave me an entire steroid pack to take over the week as well as groovy cough syrup, a new much better antibiotic (that won’t make me hurl) and some weird inhaler that tastes like what I imagine the inside of an operating room might be flavored.

I’m supposed to apologize to you ahead of time if I’m:

• cranky
• bitchy (which is the new black I hear.)
• pissy
• grouchy
• irate
• outraged over small things like the color of your socks
• manic
• insane
• shouting profanities
• short-tempered

As I found this on Twitter in one of Jagadiah’s tweets, I think if you see me with one, you might want to run.

Your usually kind host will be back later in the week. Oh, I’m still gonna blog, but I’m just not guaranteeing niceties until then. My patience is the size of an amoeba.

And my chief staff writer was throwing up in a trashcan this morning with the flu as we are always understaffed and bless her heart as did our page designer who also came in anyway, so I’m going to work but it will be on a short schedule this week. (Bad long sentence I know. Shut up.)

Just bring me dark chocolate truffles and tread lightly and I will put away the chainsaw.

Kthanxbai,

Newscoma