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T-Shirts And Anti-Frizz Shampoo
Posted by newscoma | Posted in Tennessee | Posted on 12-03-2008
I realized today that I dress like a hobo.
I was wondering around this morning looking at my clothes and it hit me. I’m friggin’ Boxcar Willie.
Here’s the thing is small town America. I ain’t the skinniest girl in the room and I’m also not the biggest girl in the room. Nine times out of ten I have the smallest feet in the room as I have some tiny ass feet. I also have the most professionally bitten nails in the room. I’m a really good at it. And, yeah, it ain’t pretty but it’s me so hush. So where do I go get clothes? Wal-Mart?
Puh-leeze.
I’m just a short, curly headed woman-girl-old broad who has an interesting wardrobe of 712 T-shirts. And I’m also short. Which means that, well, I’m short.
So I had this big feminine moment this morning and I was feeling all saucy. I realized my Marie Laveau voodoo shirts that I got in New Orleans would just not do. And I didn’t want to put on the Crocs or the Chucks.
I had a moment of wanting to be, I don’t know, all girly and sexy.
It went over like a lead balloon filled with crack in someone’s colon.
I bought some anti-frizz shampoo. I guess that’s a start.
You have little baby feets?
Tiny feet. I have no idea how I stand on them.
I, too, have a wardrobe that consists of 712 tees and 16 hoodies to wear over them. then, of course, i have my ‘dress up’ hoodies, which means they don’t have bleach spots or holes. my ‘girly’ moment happened last month when i broke down and order 4 honest to gawd ‘blouses’ from this place that caters to gals of substance.
just saying ‘blouse’ sort of makes me cringe.
first comes the anti-frizz shampoo and then…the flat iron…or whatever they call those things that suck the very life out of curls. I say this because all three of my girls have gorgeous curly hair that they torture with the straightener until their hairs yell ‘UNCLE already. we’ll be STRAIGHT’
I think curly hair is fun.
Feel the fashion pain… I manage to look fairly well-styled most of the time, but it’s luck and lawn darts in the closet each day. Today I went to my favorite online retailers to find something that won’t make my Nana roll in her grave for Easter (no white shoes, must be dress, but no damned QEII hats!) and lo and behold the selection just sux. Everything looks like Pucci puked on fabric and Pollock threw in the swirly effect just for fun. And really, with my boobs, do you think we need the accentuation? Um, no, thanks, but they get in the room 5 min. before me already, not helping the girls be more prominent… nope. So, I’m officially hating Summer fashion already. Probably need to borrow your Marie Laveau tee soon, since I haven’t got a thing to wear to church on Easter!
I think you need to get a good look at What not to Wear-only the BBC version with Trinny and Suzanna- and then prepare to do a little shopping while in Nashville for Full Moon.
A few select pieces or one carefully planned outfit is all you really need for a girly day.
I am currently doing a full Spring wardrobe revamp. I keep buying pants and shoes when what I really need are more tops (even t-shirts).
Coma,
You make me laugh.
I’m just getting back to reading blogs after my political hangover of this winter following last fall (City Council run and all). So I wandered over here and found you and everyone else here having issues like I have…only with me it’s pants that I can’t seem to find because they keep having to get bigger. I no longer even think about wearing dresses…too much foundation garments needed.
I catch shit from some of my friends bc every once in a while I buy some “investment clothing”, which means expensive, but then I wear it for 10 years or until I get fatter, whichever comes first. I recommend it, though. 2-3 nice things that you can mix up and you’re all set.
And I have little hot dog feet, too. Used to be a 7.5 N and now that I’ve shrunk a half inch, I’m an 8N. I guess it all went down to my feet and they just splayed out.
[...] from Cindy Crawford as yet despite all this hard work. In the meantime maybe I should just follow Newscoma’s lead and start my makeover with some anti-frizz shampoo. Gotta start somewhere, and it means a trip [...]
Hey guys. I do need some fashion advice. I also need a life coach.
Desi, SO GLAD to see you back. Can you come to Drinking Liberally next time I come up to see Cracker and Free?
Woot!
NC,
I would love to come to Drinking Liberally next time you are in town. I am not always on blogs like I used to be….a bit of political burnout plus personal business. So maybe just email me or ask LWC to do so? I would LOVE it.
desi