NewscomaGot A Two-Pack Habit And A Motel Tan

And I’ll be damned if he isn’t really good.

[youtube=[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDg7kWgs5e0]

You know, because it’s about as much St. Patrick’s Day frivolity that has nothing to do with St. Patrick’s Day that I can muster up.

I’ve often wondered if I were on a reality show how incredibly boring I would be.

People would see me in my Chucks or Crocs staring at two computer screens looking at the clock with a squint (which usually means I’m hungry or want a beer) and answering the phone in my everyday-professional phone voice. (Which is what you do.)

So if I was ever going to be on a reality show I’d think I’d have to be unreal. I think that’s how it’s done anyway so I’d give it a whirl. I would wear a leather bustier and the reddest lipstick you’ve ever seen. I would whip (hah) through my day with a sashay in my hips that would knock everyone out. I hate fighting and confrontation although I’m not afraid of it,  but I guess I’d have to pick some drama/confrontation thing for each episode and there would have to be kissing. Lots of kissing although I have my limits of what I’ll do on television although this apparently isn’t a problem on the latest installment of Big Brother which I’m not even watching this year.  I would listen to bands that everyone talks about although I’d much rather be listening to Miles Davis or Johnny Cash.

I guess I’d wear stilettos but I’d fall on camera a lot. Unfortunately, reality television LOVES women falling about. I guess I’d need to drink more often to make it look like I’m Leona Helmsley or something.

I’d quote novels written by Lynne Cheney just for fun. Crap, I’d have to dye my hair. I’m starting to honestly think the bits of silver showing up up above my ears is kinda sexy. (Naa, I’ll keep it.)

I also would allow Mabel a starring role as the dog who is put upon. Homer would have to be in it but she’s so busy although Ace and Bear would demand to be in every scene which could get complicated with the leather bustier. (Dang. I’ve never had a leather bustier. I guess I’d have to wear a superhero outfit. Yeah, that would work.)

We’d wander the streets of Hootervegas and ask random questions. We’d go to the fainting goat farm and then drink Mimosas. After that, we’d head to the local haunted houses and act really scared although in reality we know that the ghosts dig us (expect this one place here. YIKES.)

Then we would all have one of those moments like there was real bonding when what we really wanted to do was talk politics respectfully and eat sushi. Being Hooterville, we’d probably be made to eat meat and three and have the local folks looking disturbed (you know, leather bustier and all.)

But, alas, I’d hate to be on a reality tv. I’m not much of a narcissist.

Instead, I’d want to do this.

 This would do. Or this.

Man, I miss Weekly World News.

Screw the telly.

“It’s comforting to know this nation’s policy on choosing a presidential candidate will be handled the same way as entering a Nutter Butter sweepstakes.”

- The Onion’s woman on the street, re: FL Dems’ mail-in revote

From Random 

Mabel questions the fact that Zombie Elvis is driving.

Bill Clinton, in an exclusive interview with Robin Roberts, said he thinks Democrats are torn between two candidates they like, and that it’s time to “chill out” and let the voters decide who should be the party’s presidential nominee.

“The voters get to decide. I think we should just celebrate this,” Clinton said. “If we just chill out here and let all the voters have their say, my gut is it’s gonna come out all right.”

The former president will be on GMA this morning and this is apparently what he talked to Robin Roberts about.

With that said, if the candidates for the Democratic nomination don’t “chill” it may come back and bite them.

Jack Cafferty has a post up and the comments are interesting in a related story.

It’s Sunshine Week, campers.

From Editor And Publisher:

CHICAGO: By large margins, Americans believe the federal government has become secretive — and that its agents are probably spying on journalists.

A survey released Sunday by the organizers of Sunshine Week, March 16-22 found that 74% of the 1,000-plus American adults polled in February view the federal government as very or somewhat secretive. That’s an increase from a Sunshine Week survey two years ago that found 62% felt that way.

Three-quarters of American adults view the federal government as secretive, and nearly nine in 10 say it’s important to know presidential and congressional candidates’ positions on open government when deciding who to vote for, according to a Sunshine Week survey by Scripps Howard News Service and Ohio University.

The survey shows a significant increase over the past three years in the percentage of Americans who believe the federal government is very or somewhat secretive, from 62 percent of those surveyed in 2006 to 74 percent in 2008.

Here’s what’s going thus far in Tennessee:

Slated during Sunshine Week 2008, Austin Peay State University’s third Library Athenaeum will focus on this national initiative designed to start public dialogue about the importance of open government and freedom of information.
At 2 p.m., Tuesday, March 18 on the third floor of Woodward Library, Melony Jones, communication specialist in the Office of Public Relations and Marketing, will give a talk titled “Spreading Sunshine: Right-to-Know Laws Must Hold Strong” for the Library Athenaeum.
“Though spearheaded by journalists, Sunshine Week is about the public’s right to know what its government is doing and why,” Jones said. “The goal of Sunshine Week is to enlighten and empower people to play an active role in their government and to give them access to information that makes their lives better and their communities stronger.”

When I was a kid, the book “Helter Skelter” was huge. As my mother let me read anything I wanted to, I dove in.

And it freaked me out.

So it’s an odd thing to see Charles Manson in the news again today.

And apparently all the rumors of there being additional victims, now 40 years later, is back in the news as it appears there is going to be a dig after researchers.

Last month, equipped with cutting-edge forensic technology, the investigators assembled in the ghost town of Ballarat for a 20-mile ride in all-terrain vehicles to the ranch.

The team included two national lab researchers carrying instruments to detect chemical markers of human decomposition, a police investigator with a cadaver-seeking dog, and an anthropologist armed with a magnetic resonance reader.

Tennessee has a huge connection here as researchers, Arpad Vass and Marc Wise, from Oak Ridge are assisting on the search.

Vass said that, considering the quantity and the types of markers of human decomposition found, the cadaver dog’s response, and the probing exercise, he found enough evidence to warrant further testing at a deeper level and a full scale excavation at Barker Ranch, according to the report he issued to law enforcement.

“I’d recommend a dig, excavate the sites,” said Dostie, who reviewed the report.

But if a body is found on the Barker Ranch, then what?

Lots going on here.

There’s more at CNN.

I remember thinking, when I was a child, that this was one of the most terrifying things I’d ever heard of. I was a child but our country was horrified and mesmerized with Manson and the family.

And it may not be over.