Newscoma

In the last month, I’ve written a couple of drafts that didn’t take off. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around them enough to bring a post together. I guess I should have just packed it in and gone and gotten a pack of Velveeta and Big Cherokee tablet with a #2 pencil while drowning myself in Schlitz Malt Liquor.

Here is an overview of what I saw and wanted to write about but because of stress and things, just didn’t get it together.

• I keep seeing religious tracts in bathrooms. I don’t know why I’m compelled to do it, but I have been picking them up and reading them. This is very odd. They seem to be everywhere lately. Why this has struck me as peculiar, I have no idea. Makes sense when you think about it. Reading. Bathroom. Connection? I do believe it does
• I have seemed to misplaced my sense of humor. I know I left it around here somewhere but it’s like the time(s) I have found my keys in the refrigerator, I know there around some place but I just can’t seem to find them. I’m working on it. Maybe my sense of humor is in the stove? Or the bathroom, where all the tracts are.
• The Golden Mean Weeds in the corn field across the street is my mortal enemy. I hate the word hate, but it applies in this relationship I have with the Golden Mean Weeks, or what I like to call “Yellow Bastard.” I do sneeze, if possible, sort of cute or very loud and honky. I got that going for me.
• This made me laugh Thursday. Of course, it is Saturday. Now where was that sense of humor again?
• But I did love this today. There is hope.
• Verizon won’t let me file insurance that was paid for on Homer’s phone because they keep asking new questions that only the government probably knows because I’m assuming they are keeping tabs. What the heck? What happened to Homer’s phone is still a mystery on the same scale of D.B. Cooper whom at the link looks like a barber who used to live here in Hoots. I wish I was joking. Actually, he looks like a barber in any rural town but I’m crying foul!
• But this is what I want to do more than anything.  With a hat tip to Random for finding it.

“I think I’m finally gonna quit my job and write the sitcom I’ve always wanted to about the sassy robot.”

Yes, I think we have a winner.

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