Newscoma

When you lose someone you care about, it’s hard.

Tomorrow is the memorial for our friend Stewman. He wanted Squirrel Queen and I to speak at his service.

I don’t know what I’ll say. I plan on working on that later today.

This summer has been a violent mistress. I am comforted by knowing this too shall pass but I’m in critical burn out right now. My leg is still sore from the spider bite but it’s better. It could have been so much worse so I’m grateful for that.

With Stew’s passing, I’m, of course, thinking of life and mortality and how everything has a root system. I feel like the world is connected. I’m also thinking because of intense stress that has accompanied these hot months that I may need a break from the world and sleep for a few days. Death reminds you that there is little time on this planet. We must make the most of it. We just have to.

I’m also thinking about being in a pattern that isn’t pleasing me right now. And how that if people are stuck, how do they get unstuck.

I’m working on that.

Stew was always supportive. He was amazing and he never backed down, even if he was afraid. He walked through the fear even when he was terrified.

I hope that I can as well.

Homer and I hung out yesterday afternoon and it was lovely. There is nothing like having a sister. Seriously, I recommend it highly.

We heard over the weekend that some of the people who inhabit our world are headed back to the Middle East. We quietly spoke about it as not to disturb the kids. They know about the war but they are also kids. Having children and trying to explain war and that some of their friends’ parents are going away is not an easy task to do.

Later in the evening, the oldest niece was rambling on about her new Johnny Depp obsession and said off the top of her head “Are we occupying Iraq?”

I stopped. Where did this 12-year-old get that? I said I thought we probably were and she nodded.

She then talked about Helena Bonham Carter and when she grew up she wanted to try Coors Light because the bottle goes blue. (I will talk to her about this abomination when she gets older.)

Kids pick up a lot from television and from hearing the hushed voices of the adults in the house. You can’t protect them from certain things.

But if I could, I would protect them from the ugliness. I would give my life for these kids.

This morning, I read this story about Joseph Dwyer. It’s hard to read.

Waxing philosophical this morning.