You can learn a lot in convenience stores if you listen. Yes, I’m a notorious eavesdropper who likes to hear what folks have to say.
A couple of days ago, I heard a woman talking to a cashier who she probably knew (it’s Hoots) and they were talking about the woman’s husband telling their child some things that obviously disturbed her. I was waiting patiently behind her ready to buy a Monster as I like them and began my secret hobby of eavesdropping.
“She told “insert name I’ve forgotten here” that she wasn’t coloring inside the lines and that she can’t do that,” she said talking about a coloring book I’m assuming. “I told her what she had done was fine. She didn’t have to color inside the lines. I was really mad at him. When he said ‘you can’t’ her eyes just welled up. Why does he have to be so strict about things?”
The cashier nodded and said “Sometimes men don’t get it.”
So I piped in and said because I’m that way, “Every time anyone, male or female because it’s not that at all, says you can’t to your daughter, tell her she can.”
They looked at me like I had just poured gasoline on myself and was fixing to light a cigarette.
The young mother said after an awkward pause, “That’s a good idea” and the cashier just nodded.
She paid for her purchases and moved to the side where I bought my Monster and began to stagger out the door (remember, walking pneumonia girl here who didn’t know she had that at this point.)
As I was leaving, the cashier whispered “she’s that newspaper lady.”
The young mother said something but I didn’t hear it as the door shut.
I shouldn’t have piped in, but for everyone, male or female, that is told they can’t needs to know that they can.
For every time I’ve been told that I couldn’t by people I felt were in authority (parents, teachers, mentors) I felt that sting that others didn’t feel I was capable of being involved or handling a situation. We are human, we crash and burn sometimes and other times we succeed.
Yet, if we are told we can’t or we are doing it wrong, then why even try?
I have two nieces. I try to tell them they can do or be anything they want to be even if I don’t agree with it. Even if I know they are going to fail.
Because, like in the picture below, sometimes beautiful and bizarre things come from letting children’s imagination take over.
If you tell someone they can’t, then they won’t.
Same things go in business. If you treat your employees as disobedient children, then you lose them. If you treat your friends this way, you lose them.
I’m not a parent. I’m an aunt. I want the nieces to know that they, indeed, can. I want them to have the tools to know that if they want something or they build something, they need to try. They may fail, but those are life’s lessons.
The picture was taken at a local park last week. It made me laugh when the boy who built it said, “Do you like Happy Cow?”
I told him I did.
“Want me to build another one?” he asked.
I said yes.
He smiled walking away, arranging his toy with fantastic things only he could see.
Tell kids they can.