Newscoma

Formerly known as Gator, I introduce to you: Dirk Diggler

We played a joke. Well, maybe not a joke but there was a raw case of the funnies that occurred with our friend formerly known as Gator.

When it comes to folks that are from Hoots that I talk about here at Chez Coma, I always ask if I can use their names. If not, I let them come up with their own handle.

My friend formerly known as Gator was introduced to you yesterday with his Picassoesque rendering of a dead chicken.

‘Coma, you ask, why do you think this is funny?

In 1994 or 1995, I can’t remember the date, a man in Union City was named Gator. His story was one you probably have heard a million times. Lots of drugs, sort of kinky in the sex department and in an addled drug haze, he dismembered himself one night of that one thing you boys are quite proud of but I will also say there was a dog involved.

I’d go more into it, but let’s just say, he was a hot mess. A tragedy really and I don’t know what happened to him.

Squirrel Queen used to work at the radio station in UC and she went through the media whirlwind of Gator’s celebrity as he had his fifteen minutes of fame, appearing on the Mark and Brian Show in Los Angeles (which she was involved in) and other national media coverage. If Fark had been around then, he most definitely would have been on there.

Well, my friend formerly known as Gator (which was his blogging handle for the total sum of 24 hours) did not know of the original Gator. So SQ asked me after he picked that one did he know about the first Gator.

I said I wasn’t sure.

Well, he does now. He listened patiently as we told him the tale of the original Gator.

Pondering thoughtfully after rolling his eyes for about an hour as we were rolling on the floor laughing our butts off, he wandered off.

About 20 minutes later I hear him shout “Dirk Diggler!”

We turned around to look at him.

“Call me Dirk Diggler on Newscoma,” he said.

Of course, we also thought this was hysterical.

So, I introduce you to Dirk.

Updated to add: He’s wearing a Hooters shirt in Hooterville. I must say that’s funny. SQ pointed this out.

Heh.