Annoying Autobiographical Pause #878
I had to recuse myself from a story yesterday. Just like the judge and the district attorney, I had to say no to a story and I’m going to have to stay away from it.
Editor Bates will do just fine with it. It has to run. She’s a rock star anyway, although I don’t think she knows it. She’s amazing.
And I’m dealing with the emotions that go along with seeing someone that I know, that I grew up with and that is part of my family behave, how do I say it, absolutely awful.
Why, you may be asking? A distant family member was arrested. If he did what he’s accused of doing, then he will go to jail. For a long time, I might add. What did he do? Well, and the reporter is coming out in me, he allegedly beat the hell out of his girlfriend and held her captive. How bad was it?
Let’s just say the TBI is involved.
And the nieces found out about it at school. We knew over the weekend but we waited for the details. We didn’t tell them because we didn’t know the extent of what was happening. We knew it was bad. We didn’t know how bad it was. Some kid spilled the beans in all of it’s horribly glory to the oldest niece.
It’s bad. It’s heinous.
I talked to the oldest niece this morning. I told her I went to court and watched the arraignment, let those folks know that because of the family connection, I was out of it. Yesterday, she cried, according to Homer. I asked to speak to her which Homer said might be a good idea.
I own that this morning, as I talked to this 7th grader, I told the truth and another brick out of the wall of her innocence I personally knocked out. I’m not a mother, but we needed for her to know that Mister Right died a long time ago. I explained that it wasn’t a reflection of her but sometimes we get hit by emotional shrapnel. Being an adult in the life of a young person whom I adore is not always fun, but it’s necessary for her to know the realities.
Damn.
Note to young journalists in small town news, sometimes you have to just go look people in the eye because sometimes you will run things that are going to hurt feelings including your own. Own it and move forward. If you don’t make people mad, then you aren’t doing your job. It’s best to make both sides of an issue mad, because then you know you are doing your job well.
But it’s news. And despite the personal connections you might have, you HAVE to run these things because if you didn’t, then you become part of the problem.
There are no favors in news. There can’t be.
And, my dear friends, these things are the downside of working in small town news. I have put relatives on the front page and it’s never fun. With a writing staff of two and a half people, you can’t run from these things. And, although it can be painful and everyone thinks reporters are barracudas, we really aren’t. We are human and in the coming days, I will see the hurt look on the faces of people I care about. Sometimes the news biz is amazingly wonderful, but there is always a flip side. This is a social business, a business where trust is crucial. We have to maintain that trust by reporting things we might want to hide our heads in the sand about but we can’t. Journalists just can’t.
And, although I recused myself, I’m still the editor and my name is all over that newspaper.
I say again, there are no favors in news and no one is above the law.
Is this person guilty? I am not a judge but I will say that the evidence thus far is overwhelming. And the sad fact that it’s not the first time.
I have put him on the front page before.
My day yesterday was one of the busiest I’ve had since I rejoined the news biz. And last night, I had to put on my Mary Sunshine face and go to a local event.
It took everything I had in me as I found out a friend had died just moments before I went.
I’m not a robot and there is a hole in the pit of my stomach this morning.
Sorry about the rambling. One week from today, I turn 43-years-old and I feel every bit of it this morning.
And we move forward.
I will hold you in my heart today and send thoughts of healing to you. Life is just hard as heck somedays.
Speaking from experience, I know that’s tough. Can’t imagine having the work factor involved as well. Keep your head up!
You are handling this well and staying true to yourself and your profession. And you are right, “there are no favors in news” shouldn’t be anyway and that’s the true test of any capital “J” journalist. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers and since I find myself offering belated birthday greetings most of the time let me take this opportunity to say an early Happy Birthday.
I hate having to put on a Mary Sunshine face. I am very sorry about your friend’s death. Also I am sorry you and your family had to face something so terrible about your relative.
I read every day..don’t always comment…but wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.
I turned 43 in April and it isn’t half bad… so far
43? That is sooo old! You are such an Oldie Oldeson!! I could never imagine being *gasp* 43!
/sarc
Truly sorry you’re going through this. You’re a tough cookie and I know you’ll be fine, and so will your nieces, but I imagine it’s rough right now.
Thoughts and prayers.
My thoughts are with you and yours.
you are right. the hardest part is having to try to explain such violence to the kids. especially young girls and violence against women.
you know i’ll be thinking of you and sending peace your way
love ya, ‘coma
There’s only so many people in Hoots anyway, so you’re bound to be related to some of them. You can’t pick your relatives. It can be hard sometimes. We feel for you.
It could be worse, though. I’ve got a friend who (many years ago) taught his, then about 4 year-old, neice how to say “Daddy’s in the big house.” and “Daddy’s gone up the river.”
You and Homer and Speedy and SQ and all your extended family are doing the absolute best you can by the girls by being the class acts that you are. You are, above all, honest and loving and ethical in all you do, keeping in mind alway swhat impact your actions could have on others. (In your case, Miss Walking Pneumonia, sometimes the latter is to a fault! Heh.) It is a sorrowful pity that the whole nation, much less your kinfolks, are not more like y’all.
We always pray for y’all’s health, happiness, comfort and peace, and we will continue to. Y’all are setting a fine example for the girls and the community that surrounds them, and you do it every day.
We love you.
(P.S.: I am very glad I never had to cover any of my kinfolk getting arrested. I had to pass on good features to other reporters, though, because they were about my kinfolk and I didn’t think it was ethical then. Now, of course, on the dark side, I have no shame. BWAH.)
And now you see why I don’t make my living as a proofreader anymore. (cf. “alway swhat.”) Gaaaaaah.
Still loving and admiring you.
Many hugs and much admiration for you as a consummate professional and as a loving aunt.
I’m so sorry you’re going thru this. And I know all too well the even ickier dynamic of such a small town happening.
Hang in there, thinking of you all.
Helluva post. You do something that I do not know that I could….