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I have a friend who tells this story and yesterday someone confirmed it to be true. First of all kids, meth is bad. It’s gross. You can’t pee it out so the lithium in it oozes out of your skin making folks look pretty terrible. Why anyone would do meth is a mystery to me.

With that said, this story says a lot.

There is this guy I know who owns a carpentry business. He actually can drive me bonkers in about five seconds but he’s not a bad dude and he hires folks at a good wage which endears me to him.

He hired this guy (and subsequently fired him) due to his meth problem.

He told me this guy comes wailing into the parking lot of their job site and starts screaming that his girlfriend was having a heart attack. Of course, she was in the car. Every time I have a heart attack, I make sure that I don’t go directly to the hospital and I head to work to announce my problem, but that’s neither here nor there.

His “old lady” was sitting in the passenger seat cradling a cooked pork chop and screaming “My baby! My BAYBEE!”

A couple of days later, meth dude was canned.

Of course this is tragic but it’s funny as well. If I ever start cradling a cooked pork chop, please shoot me in the head.

On another note of my limited intelligence, I used to work in a battered women’s shelter and we had to search bags that came in. I found a ziploc in one woman’s bag that I thought had dirty white aquarium gravel in it.

Let’s just say I learned that day that crack and aquarium gravel look very similar. Silly me.

Needless to say, meth is yucky.