Newscoma

Vibinc and I are going through similar situations. I have some age on him (btw, if you have never met Vibinc, you should) but we are both looking within to move forward. If you don’t want to get into the personal, look at the marriage proposal made out of pumpkins.

But in what way? That’s both of our questions.

Now, some ten years into this career, I’m starting to question what I’m missing. I’ve lived in Memphis for nearly 4 and a half years, and in many ways, still feel like an alien. Part of this comes from the logistical challenges of cultivating new friendships while maintaining a schedule that keeps me out of town some 200+ days a year. Part of it comes from the cliquish nature of Memphis. Still another part comes from having the social graces of a wood chipper.

I like what I do, by and large, but I don’t like not being able to immerse myself in the local political culture, warts and all. Despite my long-term fascination with politics, I haven’t found myself to be any more or less jaded than most people. I believe that, while some may involve themselves in politics for personal gain, that most people get involved because they feel they can have a positive impact. I still believe in the positive potential of political involvement and activism, and that is, in large part why I write this blog. If I can’t be here, perhaps I can, at least, add something to the conversation.

So now I want to be here more. I want to get physically involved in the process. My intellectual involvement, but physical detachment from local politics is no longer satisfying my desire to try and make a difference in the community. I want to get down in the trenches…there’s just this one problem; how do I do that, and maintain a travel schedule that I can barely keep up with? Or, if I ditch much of my travel work, how do I maintain even a portion of the financial security that I’ve worked for the past 10 years to achieve?

I understand more than I can explain. During this introspective period I’m going through right now, everything is about moving through and invisible wall. Vibinc gets it. Not meaning to be a downer, but I’m finding I’m not the only one going through this.

A few years back, I was asked twice to run for Alderman. I toyed with it but ultimately decided that it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I felt like it would be a conflict of interest.

My goals have evolved. The one thing I miss the most is that I no longer get to travel like I used to due to some things I can’t get into here.

I also went from being well-respected by my last few bosses to being reduced to being treated as a disobedient child. Not all the time but enough to stress me out and keep me balancing on eggshells.

It’s frustrating.

So, if it makes any difference, as Vibinc is my friend and I am his, does one cling to the familiar or take a jump off the cliff?

I’m voting for jumping, as I’ve always landed on my feet or learned a valuable lesson.