Dear Big Stupid Tommy,
When you ask this:
Today, I need you to work the word “Dastardly” into everyday conversation. With as little irony or inflection as possible. Make it seem like a word that’s in your everyday lexicon. If it is a word in your everyday lexicon, I would like to be your best friend.
I have to tell you that I do. I also use the word bollocks.
Love,
Newscoma





Bollocks? Bloody hell!
I had a feeling you and I would get along well…
I think you are right.