Thanksgiving is really a hipper holiday than one might think. We eat roast bird and as a faithful Southerner, I could eat my body weight in dressing.
Dressing is the only thing that keeps me going. No, we do not do stuffing as I am not as a big of a fan of it as I am dressing. Shoving the stuffing mixture in the cavity of a corpse of a turkey just isn’t my thing although if you enjoy it I am thankful that you do. We all need to enjoy something.
Dressing: where bread stuffs are shredded and tons of sodium infused chicken juice is mixed with onions and celery, just might be the greatest invention of poor farmers looking to make a dish with recycled cornbread and biscuits saturated in sage ever.
I love me some dressing. And as foodstuffs go, I can actually make dressing. It is excellent passed down by womenfolk in my family who slaved for days in the kitchen throughout generations of Thanksgiving celebrations. I am also an excellent driver.
Thankful I am for this I tell you in my best Yoda voice.
In the past, I went through a bah humbug period regarding Thanksgiving but I have found going to Squirrel Queen’s family’s farm is just about perfect and my melancholy has changed into pure joy. You may remember that last year we invented the Turkey Dance. Actually, her mother invented the Turkey Dance as I can’t take credit for this fine sensation. Forget Dancing with the Stars, the Turkey Dance is just about perfect.
I am still unsure what a giblet is but I have learned as I grow older not to ask questions as there always repercussions of having too much knowledge about what I eat. It is best to be blind about such things.
I have been thinking about what I’m thankful for. First of all, I’m thankful for Mabel who will be begging in my feet this evening as we eat the roast bird. I am thankful for Miles O’Brien as I saw installment three of “In Search of Aliens” this morning regarding alien abduction. I am thankful that I still have a paycheck. I am thankful for Alaska who has taken Sarah Palin back into their loving embrace. I am thankful for my friends who continually make me laugh and smile. I am thankful that as soon as the paper is out today, the staff is going to celebrate the holiday. I made this decision solely because I, as well, want to go eat food. It is simple as that.
I am also thankful for SQ’s mom’s corn casserole. It is just about to die for. This, alas, I cannot make.
So because you must understand history, the real meaning of Thanksgiving is explained by Lindsey’s cats which I’m also thankful for. I do not have cats at Chez Coma but I appreciate a good feline in a pilgrim hat and Indian head dress.
The only bailout you will see in Hoots this year is my hope that once I’m done consuming roast bird, that Squirrel Queen will haul me around in a wheelbarrow as we will be on a farm and it will be a living testament to my gluttony.