A Personal Joy
I think a lot of us have been floundering a bit lately. I was pleased for a Christmas respite because life has been a roller coaster this past year. Things didn’t work out the way I wanted it too necessarily but I believe it worked out the way it was supposed too.
I had to grieve. We always, as humans, have to grieve no matter how large or small the pain in our hearts.
Such is life. I’ve sought to close my mind to static and it’s helped. I’ve made my first New Years Resolutions for myself in years. I’m talking probably two decades. We will see how that goes. It’s more about a spiritual foundation on being comfortable with all of the aspects of myself instead of running in place as well as avoiding my own fallibilities. I watched Howl’s Moving Castle yesterday (seen it before) but I was struck how Sophie’s character became peaceful in her old age and how she became at one with herself.
I guess I’m just being sentimental.
Change for change’s sake is ridiculous. Change to move forward or to learn needs to be cultivated and thought of with depth and intelligence.
And without fear but with some caution.
I enter my mid-forties this year. I’ve always thought 44 was the year that you are in the mids. I’m comfortable with it. I’m comfortable with the gray in the temples of my hair (I actually think it’s kind of sexy.) I don’t need hair dye or anti-aging cream or people telling me what they think I need to hear. I don’t need anything but a good conversation, a quiet thoughtful debate or a smile.
I don’t need pats on the back, although they are always nice to have.
I need to smile.
The end of the year is always a time of reflection.
What do I need? Love, respect and honesty. Joy, laughter and hope.
I’m older but my heart is young.
One thing I’ve learned in 2008 is that if you are looking for your own personal joy from other people, you will always be disappointed. If you look for joy with other people, you will always win.
That last paragraph pretty much sums up the way it is. It also reminds me of my favorite Dorothy Parker poem:
Four be the things I’d be better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Good Lord I love you because I love Dorothy Parker (who always had a dog companion) and I adore you. Thank you!
“I need to smile.”
Well then….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtaKnvuHTMA
The adoration is mutual, ‘Coma!
I adore you both. The yeti thing is hysterical.
like you i hope 2009 brings some serious changes, all for the better. puzzling out the next directions to take can be daunting and like you, no matter how long i have been here on this planet i am still perplexed by other people, so i am certain i perplex them as well.
i do wish all of you there in hoots the happiest of new years.
we all could use one!
was telling eldorado today, “age and experience win over youth and agility anyday.” i honestly don’t know if that has anything to do with the subject at hand, but that’s what came to mind. right after the “i love ya, too, ‘coma” thought.
by the way, love the new look!