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What happens when you have four dogs, one who has run for president, and another dog shows up and adopts the family?

A very sweet, well-behaved dog showed up New Year’s Day and , Jeez Louise, this dog is about the most well-mannered dog I’ve ever met. I warned the nieces at the commune that the dog was too nice to just be a stray. Plays well with the cult of the kids in the neighborhood and just sits outside looking at the world, waiting for the next kid to pat it on her head. There are, I believe, 9,000 kids in this neighborhood who all call me Aunt Tick. Yesterday, when I was sporting a lovely sinus headache, about five of these kids were showing off their duck calls as loud as they could. I wished for death stoically and silently.

There just kids, you know.

We called the local vets and the pound to see if anyone had lost a dog. No one had called but I’m still not 100 percent sure that this dog wasn’t someone’s beloved pet. Of course, I tried to ignore the dog. The large overlord dog here named Jura already hates this dog. Jura is 80 pounds of cranky, and Mabel just stares at her. Mabel usually gets along with everyone but she needs them to understand that she is a minor-league Internet star. This dog could join her entourage, of course, but cannot be the star of the canine contingency of the commune.

This is a given.

The dog is not an overtly large dog and I expect there is a little bit of pit bull/bull terrier in her as well and looks like a smaller, chocolaty version of Mrs. Wigglebottom, with dark brown fur. Little bits of white on the bottom of her toes which is cleverly spotted makes her look like she has partially put on a pair of dirty socks. She also has a bit of Mabel’s white spots on her and both dogs look like someone through white paint on them.

The neighbor kids are enthralled. She has gone through several names. The first one was by Homer, which was Jesus (Hey-Zeus.) The second name was Zoey, which made Homer’s husband, Squeegee Monkey and I groan. One of the boys from across the street named her Pinky. When I asked him if this was from Pinky and the Brain, he stared at me if I was a mutant. Has it really been that long since that cartoon was on? Squeegee and I want to call her Jeff. Squirrel Queen is inclined to Hildegaard.

I’ve been calling her Pinks but may change it to Pink-o just to be silly.

I like this dog but have kept my distance. I still believe it’s someone’s pet.

But, dang, it’s just about the perfect dog. Other than Mabel, of course.