Newscoma

It’s like this.

With more Hootsvillians reading the blog, I am occasionally given ideas on things to blog by some of my dudes, who I lovingly call bromances. Now, I realize that bromance is a weird term and most likely has lost its usefulness being that I’m a girl, and my bromances also include some women. I know this isn’t proper use of urban slang but I don’t care.

Yesterday, I saw the very famous Dirk Diggler who I have decided needs a camera as he tends to see some really wrecked and funny things. He was in line at McDonalds and apparently there was a decked out, very large woman wearing form-fitting leopard skin that even included what sounds like a pill-box hat, matching her entire attire. Scrunched up in the window of her car, this lady had a scrunched up box of feminine products that just tickled him to no end.

Nothing says sexy like torn up tampax in your back window while eating a Big Mac in leopard print. (ROWR.)

I think he needs a camera because he has a warped sense of humor just like I do. It’s the little things that amuse us in Hoots. You have to be in love with a bit of whimsy or all of us would go completely and utterly mad.

So, I’ve been playing around with my phone that apparently is the greatest invention since cheese as I was showing Dirk and The Park Guy (new on the radar) that it takes pretty good pictures and then I can upload them online immediately. Of course, everyone in the blogosphere has been doing this for years and I’m only a decade behind, but it’s new to me. (See bromance comment above. Yeah, I’m so hip that I’m surprised that I can move.)

As I was leaving to go meet Squirrel Queen, an older man asked me if I had a spy camera. I said, “No, it’s a Blackberry.”

“Looks like you could use it to spy,” he said a little drunkenly.

“Umm, you found me out,” I whispered. “I’m on assignment here.”

“Did my wife send you?” he whispered back.

“No,” I responded wondering why would his wife need to hire a spy? Then I realized I really didn’t want to know the answer to that internalized question. “If I tell you who sent me, you might be in danger. Let’s just keep it on the downlow.”

He stumbled away and I heard him say to his buddies in a real loud voice that I was, indeed, a spy.

Oh well. I’ve always thought that starting rumors about myself made more sense and would confuse the masses when the real stuff started spreading around. Control your own message, I always say.

Anyway, I think Diggler needs an inexpensive camera, because for all the weird stuff I see, he sees a lot more of it. And, he can take a picture of his new kitchen, which I hear is a delightful color. (Which is an inside joke.)

So this was my day yesterday.

For the day job, I asked Lester Hudson to get in a group of about 100 kids after he gave a speech for D.A.R.E. He did it, no problem. He’s a nice guy.

Hudson is an indulgent man or I am an evil taskmaster. You choose.

Just another day in Hoots.