Newscoma

I saw Wolverine on Friday. It was a mighty … wait for it … turd. (My brother-in-law getting his inner Barney from How I Met Your Mother On.)

That was a love letter to Leonard Nimoy, wasn’t it? (On Star Trek’s new movie.)

I’m eating at Toots in Murfreesboro Tuesday night and I will take pictures of my buffalo wings and send it to your phone all night. (Squirrel Queen, who is headed to state tomorrow and who is evil.)

The only way to deal with her texting addiction is to let an alligator eat her cell phone. I don’t think that Verizon covers that in it’s terms of service for replacing it. (On my youngest niece’s love of her cell.)

You really don’t have a sense of humor, do you? (Said outside my office. I have no idea what it was in reference to.)

She’s more than passive aggressive. No one know what’s going on, we just know it is. She hasn’t mastered the passive aggressive. I would call it more like just wistfully sullen. I really hate passive aggressive. (Overheard in a restaurant.)

Did you really believe that there was going to be a happy ending? I thought there might be a decent ending but a happy one? You are delusional. Take it a day at a time because only days have happy endings. Suck it up. (Great.)

You brought me cake?!!? You don’t suck right now. (Okay, that was me.)

The puppy ate a battery and his white fur is blue. Look for magic markers and the remote. (Both lovingly destroyed.)

Aunt Tick, Mabel has eaten four flies today. (Me sighing.)