Baby Steps
Now that some of the smoke has cleared and I’ve been around humans where I wasn’t feeling like my hair was on fire and that I needed to stop, drop and roll, I’m starting to get some perspective. Or maybe I am going through another phase of the seven degrees of grief.
I wrote a post that felt pretty good over at NewsTechZilla about my first baby steps in a world where I don’t have a job, a title and a place to go in the morning.
Aunt B. said yesterday that it is important that I grieve. I think that’s important. The Memphis Steves basically told me that everything was going to be alright as well. Those words are comforting and I guess I’m a bit needy to hear gentle sweet things that I can’t say to myself right now.
I’m still a little unsure about this new development but I do appreciate hearing such kindness. And, I find that I’m smiling easier and I don’t feel like an anvil keeps slamming into my stomach every 15 minutes. (That was sucky, I have to tell you. Now it’s only about once every two hours.)
I guess if you look at the seven stages of grief, I am hopeful I’m in Step 5 right now. You can read the others but I’ll #5 which I feel is important. It’s called the Upward Turn and even though these are about the loss of a loved one, sometimes loss of an era is also significant.
A huge test for me this evening is that I will be meeting friends, especially one who I went to high school with who is visiting from California, and I’m a bit apprehensive about it. I don’t mind talking about the layoff with my buddies. These are my friends and they get me. The thing I’m worried about is other people coming up and talking to me about the layoff. I haven’t really had to deal with this before in Hoots and I’m a bit nervous. I realize that this is a preconceived obstacle I’ve created in my own mind, but it’s still something I’m a bit weird about.
These are the things that are still raw, you know.
However, the good part is that I’m trying to get organized, back up in the saddle and I know that this is a part of it.
You see, I realize I’m not the only one. I just write about it.
[...] for unemployment in my life (I keep saying that as the prospect is somewhat terrifying to me and I’m having one of those anvil moments here), I appreciate that you stood up for [...]
I dunno. I think I have wavered back and forth through the stages since I lost my job last November. Now 6 months later, I am just genuinely pissed off about it (again) and am feeling super di dooper sorry for myself.
Hope I make it to step 7 soon. and stay there.
[...] hard in my life. I’ve paid some dues. And when I read about good people like Lynnster and ‘Coma and Ginger and so many other people who have worked hard and paid dues a lot longer than I have, [...]
I don’t think the 7 stages are in a perfect order – you may bounce around all of them in the course of even a day. But you will land on your feet and are surrounded by people that love you. You are wonderful, Newsy.