Mabel, the canine cultural equivalent of Margaret Mead, has simply observed the result of our patriarchal society’s insistence on linking women’s intrinsic value as humans to their ability to hump a pole in stilettos. Her findings will enable her to seek funding for and propose new hard-hitting legislation to ensure all mommas are able to feed their pups, regardless of the size of their teats.

Tune in later for her platform planks on cleaning up after yourself and not going in somebody else’s yard. And clean water.

;0D

She should be in pastels.

Now strip clubs are an entirely different story.