Newscoma

Sometimes I hear weird things that amuse me. So here is another edition of Overheard in Hoots.

1. There is a giraffe in Alamo. His name is Jerry. His tongue made my wife cry.  Umm, alrighty then.
2. I have two donkeys. I always consider myself to be the little donkey. Photographic proof here.
3. I’m tired of huge nutcrackers talking on television. They creep me out and give me nightmares. Can’t argue with that.
4. I asked my favorite veterinarian if he’d every operated on a snake. Maxey  looked at me like I had three heads because I sorta blurted it. My favorite dog, cat and cow doc said, “Yes. They eat the weirdest things.” He also told me hamsters and guinea pigs are prone to cancer. I did not know this. He’d given a pug a cesarean that morning as well. The things you can learn from a vet.
5. Now that John (Tanner) has dropped out, at least Nashville is talking about us (northwest Tennessee) for a change. Well, there is that.
6. My wife would have not of beaten me with a golf club if I had committed a “transgression”. I’m a hunter. She would have used a gun. That’s the difference between Tiger Woods and me. That made me laugh although I’m sick to death of the nonstory of Tiger Woods.
7. Do you have cattle dung between your ears? I heard this one peripherally from a couple of college kids who had gotten into a quick romance with some Natty Light.
8. I don’t want to see Avatar. I don’t want to learn a new language. Klingon almost killed me. Still from the very amusing college students drinking barrels of Natty Light.
9. My son threatened to send a picture of me to People of Wal Mart. I don’t go to Wal Mart anymore.
10. I’m surprised you don’t own a monkey. Said to me. No, I need a lot of things but a monkey ain’t one of ‘em.