As everyone seems to be doing lists before they turn a certain age, I wanted to join the fun. I’m going to be 50 (I KNOW in my best Craig Ferguson voice) so here is my 50 bucket list before I hit the half-century mark.

This will be long, campers, because 50 is, well you know, 50.

1. Keep breathing.
2. Not lose my hearing (talk in my left ear, it’s my best ear kiddos and no, I am not lying.)
3. Get health insurance.
4. Pet all the Corgis in the nation.
5. Find the perfect sweet potato fries.
6. Live every week like it’s Shark Week.
7. Find a job as a Shark Week counselor because wouldn’t that be cool and I think I’m good at it.
8. Take a photo of myself that doesn’t suck.
9. Avoid constipation.
10. Go to a roller derby bout.
11. Drink good wine and not the crappy wine I’ve bought for years because I’m cheap.
12. Eat the perfect steak that isn’t overcooked.
13. Start an online newspaper.
14. Find funding for the online newspaper so I can eat.
15. Go back to Cannon Beach in Oregon.
16. Buy flip-flops.
17. Admire Meryl Streep daily.
18. Have Sen. Beverly Marrero advise me on hat-buying because she is good at it.
19. Go visit White’s Creek Journal because that place is awesome in the photos.
20. I’ve never been to prom or been a bridesmaid, so one day I want to dress up real fancy. Hee.
21. Get my novel published.
22. Start writing fiction again.
23. Play with an otter in a creek (See #19).
24. See Bigfoot.
25. Swim with dolphins.
26. Entertain Michael Silence.
27. Win the lottery. (Duh!)
28. I’d like to not bury anymore friends.
29. I’d like to not bury myself in the old fashioned dirt garden.
30. Make more time with new friends.
31. Not lose my sense of whimsy.
32. Try a Nutella crepe.
33. Ride a Harley.
34. Get my friend Nordstrom on Twitter because he is being sent to another city and it gives me a sad. I think if he is on Twitter, he will enjoy it and I can mess with me.
35. Have brunch with Russ McBee and Shane Rhyne again.
36. Have a monthly standing meeting with Grandefille because she is one of the most incredible women I’ve ever met.
37. Get over my fear of babies.
38. Read The Leftovers.
39. Catch a fish that I don’t have to throw back.
40. Give Nashville another year before I throw in the towel.
41. Get Squirrel Queen to train a squirrel to ride a motorcycle.
42. Watch more SYFY.
43. Swim more.
44. Give Nashville Barbecue a chance although I did love me some Mothership BBQ at one time. (RIP)
45. Look at long-term plans instead of short-term fixes.
46. Write a Wet Koala/Megladoon SYFY movie because wet koalas are scary. Google it.
47. Flirt, Eat, Drink, Smile.
48. Listen to more mandolin.
49. Not let people take free room and board in my head.
50. Avoid fun vampires AT ALL COSTS.

So there you have it. Lofty goals, I know, but who knows what the future holds. And, no, I’m not running a marathon although I’m sure it would help me with #29.

Carry on …

Photo Credit