The Car Chronicles: Part Two

I may have an inline on a car. I’m not sure. I’ve gotten my hopes up before. Shopping on a budget ain’t easy, campers.

I identify myself as a feminist but I swear that I have asked two men to marry me over the weekend for just a couple of days so I wouldn’t have to deal with the creepiness quotient. I inquired about one vehicle and the email back to me was and I quote: “Wut U LOOK like?”

Umm, all righty then, I don’t think I want a meeting with you champ. I should have said I looked like my new girl crush, Michonne, and that he could recognize me when I walked in with a katana.

“Hey dude, I’m the bad ass chick with the two zombie pets with no arms and broken jaws on chains who is holding a sword. That’s what I look like, asshat.”

Another guy added a grand to a vehicle that went $900 bucks over Blue Book value.  Umm, no. Just, ugh.

Guys, I hate car shopping. I hate it with a thousand hates fueled by emphysema coughing demons on Red Bull.

One guy offered to not marry me, but to wear leather and look menacing. I appreciate anyone who wants to look like they are on Sons of Anarchy to be my henchman. Another one is a former Vols player who is nearly seven feet tall who said I didn’t have to marry him and that he could growl if needed.

This is of the good.

Honestly, I wish my dad was here. He knows things I don’t know.

Anyway, I’m looking at a car on Thursday with a man I know, which is good. He isn’t a psychopath so I will chalk that up to at least a possibility to become a car owner again.

Anyone have a Xanax?

2 comments for “The Car Chronicles: Part Two

  1. Jenni
    December 4, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    *Raises hand*

  2. December 4, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    Xanax to fight against psychopaths!!!!

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