Newscoma

When I was a kid, I asked my mother one Tuesday (why do I remember that it was a Tuesday, well, you will find out) about this word I kept hearing. I was in third grade.

We were a family that watched a lot of television. Big Daddy was, and still is, a fanatic about news. My mother liked situation comedies, variety shows and the like in the early 70’s. Yeah, I watched The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family and a whole lot of stuff that was probably considered racy in its day.

So, it was either a rerun of Laugh-In or Maude, if memory serves me right that had me thinking about this word I kept hearing.

A couple of weeks after I had heard it more than once, I was sitting on our black vinyl (Woot) furniture this fine day and I blurted to my mother this very sentence, “Momma, what is this sex thing I keep hearing about on television?”

She took a deep breath. If I remember, she took another.

And then, we sat for hours and I was so utterly and terribly appalled about this “sex thing” I wanted to scream. I think I interrupted her more than once thinking she was pulling the wool over my eyes.

Finally, after I had exhausted my poor 8-year-old cranium, totally freaked out, and quite frankly, disgusted about how babies were made, that you only do it “with someone you love” (a point she said over and over again) and sorta tried to block out that weird feeling that was lurking in the pit of my stomach that I remember having each time I learned more and more about the adult world, I looked at the television. (At this point my mother had a glass of wine in her hands and the ashtray was overflowing from her Salem cigarette butts. I think this was as hard on her as it was on me.)

Tom Snyder was on. It was that late because his show “Tomorrow” was glaring back at me on the screen. Snyder died yesterday at the age of 71 and I must say that all of these memories of me learning about sex came flying back in.

Tom Snyder. Yeah, I know. This is very odd.

So, my entire life, in learning the world of sex, I always have a smoking, stuttering Tom Snyder image in my head.

No wonder I’m demented.

Thanks Tom. Or not.

Anyway, I thought you were pretty groovy although I do need to wash my brain out with whiskey.

Ahhhh, memories.

My pal, Badger Beth, has a new site design over at Craven’s World and some new stuff up over at her digs in the blogosphere.

Go give her a look.

I think it looks awesome.

Yeah, I think this is fun too.

There are certain things you might or might not know about me.

I am terrified of spiders, and cave crickets just wig me out.

Zombies, no problem. Vampires, well that might be kinda cool and all except for the blood-drinking. Snakes and mice don’t bother me so much other than startling me when I see them. I can even hold a snake (although I was told one time at Reelfoot Lakes Wildlife Center when I was given a snake by a TWRA agent that I was “upsetting” the snake when I held it. Note to self: Do not wig out a snake when you hold them.)

Gooey Aliens from outer space, I’m fine with that.

As long as they aren’t spidery looking.

On Monday, Elizabeth came into work and said her leg was bothering her. She sort of looked a bit feverish and she said she had some kind of bug bite that really hurt. Later in the day, she looked positively like she was going to barf. A couple of us looked at the bite and it looked angry. Later, she showed us again, and it was twice the size and was starting to bruise.

Big Daddy has been bit by a Brown Recluse spider before. I know what that looks like but this looked different.

EC went to the doctor the next morning after a lovely evening of being sick. It was a black widow bite. And, campers, it was bad. Her entire leg looked like someone had taken a baseball bat to it. Bless her heart, on Tuesday evening after having to take steroids and antibiotics to fight off the infection, I honestly thought she was going to need to go to the emergency room.

Geez, I hate spiders. So I’ve noticed the last couple of days I’ve been watching around me, ever vigilant on patrolling for spiders. I’ve stared at my recliner, looked around in the car, just been a real spiderphobe. Several years ago, when I saw the movie Arachnophobia, I was petrified. I know, I know. Oh yeah, and Shut Up.

Did I mention I didn’t like the creepy crawlies with eight legs? You get that, don’t you?

So, if you ever meet me and I start screaming like a girl (which I am) and jump in your arms weeping, there might be a reason.

And you can bet your hiney it’s because of a spider.

***shudder***

 Squirrel Queen and her mother at the river. There was laughter yesterday as we spread her father’s ashes at the Obion County River. We honored her father nine months to the day of his passing.

 Squirrel Queen’s family’s farm in Harris Station. This year, the crop is corn. Her parent’s home is in the distance

The river.

The final resting place of her father.

I like the river. It’s green and lush. It moves slowly, deep in some parts, shallow in others. Green lies on the top of the water. You can see life rippling beneath its surface. It’s sort of scary to me, as I’m a town kid. But I think it’s mysterious and beautiful. We laughed yesterday, we raised our glasses to SQ’s father and we cried.  We wished her father well and we said one last goodbye to what he was, what he meant to us and we toasted to him in his journey down the river that was his home for more than six decades. I love it out here. I could honestly become one with this world so different than my own.

I think it’s a fine place. These were her father’s wishes and we honored them.

“The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave it.”

Hemingway

Well, I have seen many things in the last 24 hours.

1. I’ve seen two different pit bulls in two different bars. They were nice, kind dogs. Reminded me of when I was in Europe where dogs could sit outside with you at Bistros.
2. I’ve seen someone eat squirrel dumplings. (blech.)
3. I got a really nasty letter from a woman I’ve never met.
4. I’ve realized that I’m tired of saying “technical difficulties” today as we are switching from Quark to InDesign and we are getting new computers.
5. I’m amazed at how everyone has gotten along so well this week despite having “technical difficulties.” There are some lovely people here that I work with.
6. A restaurant in town just put in wireless. They told me it was because I recommended that it might help them attract business. (Who knew I could be helpful?)
7. I am very sad I wasn’t asked to be war czar. I think I would make a fine Czar. Maybe I can be Pilsner Czar. I think I would like that better.
8. I really want this man to write a book.
9. Is this a waste of time? I’m just asking.
10. BadbadIvy makes me laugh. I love this, and I’m smitten with her. (Yes, it’s pretty ugly, Ivy.)

And alas, another work day has ended, a new evening has begun and Lost is on tonight. So Groovy.

I cannot write poetry. It’s not a skill I have. I’m more prone to be drawn to reading what’s written on the girl’s bathroom at juke joints. Of course, as this is a pseudo-family blog, we will leave some things to the imagination.

Although, recently I saw some rather filthy stuff filled with typos written on a wall at eye-level where a woman delicately sits to do her business (with a sharpie no less) and someone had cleverly responded beside it “Yikes, call the grammar police” which made me laugh.

Later on I found out that it was Badger who had done the bathroom editing because she couldn’t stands it no more (to misquote Popeye.)

And for some reason, that really made me guffaw.

I’m worried about Squirrel Queen. The woman has worked herself non-stop this weekend. Several hours yesterday and then another event tonight. She was going to take off Friday but the Titans Caravan came into town so she couldn’t and a coach requested photos that had to be processed and sent to him. In the end, with events happening next weekend, she’s not looking at a day off for a couple of weeks.  She’ll come in a bit later, but things have been crazy lately and in high-tension mode so she’s had her hiney to the wall. And she’s been helping me in her spare time with this project (accompanying me last Friday to a meeting in Nashville was a life-saver.)

She hasn’t taken much time than grabbing a beer occasionally when she gets off from work or a quick meal.  You can tell she’s groovy as hell.

This day was spent with her writing stories and working on photos that she will send to the daily that they may or may not use. I helped as much as I could. I was type-setting some items and putting a couple of generic editorials in the hole in case I get where I can’t get to it more timely with my new additional responsibilities.

This, my friends, is the life of a small town newspaper that has one sports reporter who is also the sports editor. With a college, four high schools and five junior highs plus the various sporting events held in the community, it can be overwhelming.

On top of this, with things coming up and me working on another project that includes the daily, she’s looking at a larger workload. I met with the staff and asked for patience last week and everyone was quite wonderful for the most part. This isn’t uncommon for small media outlets, but it’s a big schedule, you take what time you can and then you hope everyone is patient. Because news doesn’t wait. And our staff is small. We don’t need criticism within our forces, we need action with warmth and understanding and I’ve tried to help guide that comfortably but I get frustrated as well sometimes. On top of this, we are moving to a new computer system on Tuesday and a new software program in a couple of weeks.

Change, for the most part, and transition is hard on the toughest folks. It will be challenging these next few weeks.

This time of year is a killer and will most likely last until the end of May. As my bosses are leaving for a trip later this week, I have to be at their offices tomorrow morning to hammer up some last minute details before they leave.
Dang scheduling.

A community festival is beginning this evening (last night actually) called the Tennessee Iris Festival. For a solid week, it’s several events daily that we have to keep up with for the newspaper. I was lucky that I had yesterday to sit and veg out and then visit with friends last night but that will end as the next four weeks are going to be filled. The next four Friday nights I will be working. Checking my agenda today, I realized that everyone needs two of each other. I’ve already been called to come to several events as have the rest of the staff which is an additional work-load for all of the editorial and design staff. The office staff will also be busy as they have to work ahead and everyone will have to join hands to get things together. As this is not an election season, advertising has to shift. We have to determine the differences in ad revenues from two years ago in comparison with election monies that come in during an election year. If those things aren’t communicated in-house, then tension arises. People, everyone, has to make adjustments editorially and within the confines that we are, in fact, a business. Having run my own media business before, this I can assure you is a reality.

The yearly budgets have to be scrutinized to deal with those adjustments. Most rural newspapers have to take this into consideration. This, of course, makes the editorial staff nuts. We aren’t an AP newspaper, so everything is either written or submitted for publication.  This is the time of year that advertising and editorial starts growling at each other because both sides have arguments that are of value. When one side, or the other (both sides do this) start thinking their side is the only right side, problems do occur.

Let’s break it down to an analogy I use with the staff sometimes.  If you’re selling lawn mowers, then those lawn mowers have to be manufactured. The salespeople are selling the product. The manufacturers (writers) are making the product. If you sell too many lawn mowers, then the workload goes up. If you make too many lawn mowers that aren’t moving, then you have that issue as well. And when folks are spending more time at work than they are with their families, you have to weigh that in as well. It’s a fine balance.

It can make you crazy.

I like this time of year however. There’s a lot going on, fresh vegetables are coming in, there is an excitement in the air where children are looking forward to getting out of school and the weather is lovely.

But it can be grueling, but I try to remember that I could be standing over a grill asking you if you want fries with that, you know what I mean.

A little window into the world of a small-town newspaper for you. Thought you might find it interesting.

Or not

Now going to celebrate Big Daddy’s 66th birthday.

My day.

It was a day of great value on one hand because I did what I set out to do but mind-blowing obstacles that stood in the way have my head about to disconnect from my neck.

Yeah, one of those days.

In a nutshell, I worked all day on something I don’t know that much about. So everything was about learning small details about something, and I repeat, that I know very little about. In a lot of ways, it was challenging and neat to be learning new things. On the other hand, I’m terribly whupped.

So it was about me doing some “learning”, as they say here in the south. And I was on the phone most of the day to the point my cell phone ran out of juice three times. Three times.

I like learning new things, and after having being so dreadfully ill last week, I think the crankies caught up with me.

One of my employees was threatened where we needed police intervention (I was out of the office today working on the project from the inner bowels of Hades as well as a couple of other things), another employee called and we have a shortage of stories for the next paper *sigh* (which I think can be rectified through a lot of hard work tomorrow morning. Yay for me, I’ve got to go in earlier than usual) and I’m talking to techs all day and they were talking tech language to me when I finally had to ask if there was a dictionary on-line or an interpreter available.

Then my cell phone would die and we would have to start all over.

And I have to talk to techs again tomorrow and Friday. I just have to talk to the Powers That Be on Thursday.

I truly need a brain transplant. I think people think this is fun time for me working on this project. They are sadly mistaken. But it needs to be done because it’s the right thing for our business. And, I want to do a good job. But I feel like I’ve been in college again for the last month.

And I shouldn’t be bitching because other people had a terrible tragic day.  Much worse than mine.

The good part of the all of this is in the big picture, it doesn’t really matter. You know what I’m saying. There are people out there that had a much more horrible day than I had, so I shouldn’t complain.

But hey, isn’t that what a blog is for?

Cranky. But on a good path. I’ll keep that in mind.

Photo from Here 

Those words are not mine.

Reason #356 I love going to read Scout.

With one motion of her red ink pen, she had the power to destroy your life and chop your work up into neat little bits, but she was the best English teacher in history. Well, at least in my history. She’d hand students back research papers that had been torn to shreds or had so many red marks that they’d been given negative grades, but Mrs. Gearin was, at least, very respected. You either liked or hated her. She either liked or hated you. There was no in between.

I liked Gearin too. She was inspirational and I did my English paper on Tennessee Williams and another on Truman Capote back when Literature gave me a view of the world I didn’t know while I was growing up in a small town before I finally got to see some of it and it became tangible.

And I like Scout. Her post was honest and brave.

Off the cough syrup high. And I meant every word I wrote earlier. I’m talking to someone in particular.

He knows who he is.

So someone took bolt cutters to the locks on a couple of our newspaper racks.

Yeah, the one lock we retrieved was so perfectly cut that I almost want to keep it. (I think I will, it’s quite artistic in its destruction.)

These people were not breaking into the racks to get to the fine writing of my staff or myself or see our fine assortment of ads created by Badger. Instead, the police cited they probably were after A.) quick money for drugs or B.) had gone on a change frenzy to do their laundry. (Naah, they didn’t say B.) but it crossed my mind.)

One of the policemen said “They usually hit the coke machines.”

I thought about that and thought they would have probably gotten more cash out of a vending machine than our news racks, but I also thought it must be harder to get to the cash even though they might have walked away with some greenbacks instead of what they got.

They worked pretty hard on busting the couple of racks to get a few quarters. Because that’s what they got, a handful of quarters.

You see, it’s sort of weird, because other newspapers’ boxes were hit as well (actually several different newspapers racks got hit, not just ours) but I’m assuming they still only got, at best, a couple of hundred bucks. There is something inherently sad about someone taking bolt cutters to get a piddly amount of change.

Yeah, We’ll prosecute them if they are caught.  They still stole, you know what I mean.

We live in an odd world.

I saw Slartibartfast do a list a couple of days ago about things he digs and things that are sending him up the wall. I opted to copy him. In other words, today, I got nothing so I’m cheating.

List One: Things I’m absolutely sick of or bored with:

1. Junk bills going through the capital of this state. NO, I’m not bored about this one. I’m seriously pissed. The Order of Protection legislation has me so steaming mad I might have to go scream in one of our local cornfields. I worked with battered women for years, going to police stations in the middle of the night trying to help women who had the crap beat out of them get away from their abusers, women who are so scared to leave their husbands that they stay because they have been so emotionally abused into believing that he will kill them or the children and too frightened to go to court because it’s humiliating and they don’t think they can get any help anyway. This legislation is about devaluing people who really need help and it makes me angry.
2. The presidential race (IT’S 20 MONTHS AWAY.)
3. That I feel all of my age this week, which is frustrating.
4. High School Basketball playoffs, because I haven’t seen Squirrelly in two weeks basically other than as passing ships in the night.
5. And I’m with Slarti on this one, school fundraisers. As my sister is the PTO president for our little burg and she has been about to rip her hair out trying to do what she feels is the right thing. I also don’t like grouchy people who won’t volunteer to help at the school but are armchair critics about every little thing she does. Homer is my girl, don’t mess with her.
6. Being perpetually poor because we need a new laptop. Trying to figure out how to manage that one.

List Two: Things I cannot get enough of:

1. High Plains Drifter. Man, I love that movie. Big Daddy always used to take us to the movies when we were kids and I remember this one very clearly because it was just so awesomely cool. And The Seven Samurai. Yeah, they both give me a happy. Anything Akira Kurosawa does makes me just plum joyful and I have such a crush on Toshiro Mifune that it’s just downright embarrasing.
2. My dog Mabel, who always greets me with so much love and joy when I come home that I have to pick her up and just squeeze her.
3. The Groovy Chicks at work, who have been extremely patient with me over the past month.
4. Spring Fever and Tony LaRussa and Scott Rolen have shaken hands are now ready for some baseball. Ummm … I love baseball. Cardinals baseball, Smiley.
5. Munster cheese.
6. Getting hugs from the nieces without having to ask.

So, there you go. A little glimpse into the world of ‘coma. Yeah, I’m not that exciting, but then again, March is here, I’ve seen some sunshine this week and it was 70 degrees yesterday so life isn’t so bad.

Thanks Slarti.

So, I believe that Seasonal Affective Disorder exists. I really do. February just wears me out and I find myself being a person I don’t necessarily like. I like myself just fine usually, but when February hits, I feel like a mess. It’s hard to stay focused and I find myself kind of floating around.

I’m usually pretty optimistic. But not so much lately.

Yesterday, Tammy Lynette and I went and had a late lunch at this great restaurant in Martin called The Opera House (go there if ever you come to Martin). It was very positive and for the first time in weeks, I felt a little better about things. And I think the Lifehacker guy has it right. Maybe I have been suffering from Information Fatigue Syndrome. But Tammy Lynette sort of put it into perspective for me. She does that sometimes and it was mucho appreciated. We talked business and I felt pretty good about it all as she was very encouraging with this internet upgrade thing that’s been driving me up a tree.

During February (the bitch of the month that she is) I always get a little down. I have felt recently like the Holly Hunter character in Broadcast News, where I have to schedule myself a little mini-breakdown once every couple of days.

See, things have been stressful but on the other hand and I do believe that I have been what I like to call “situationally depressed”, it’s me as a whole that’s the issue. It’s absolutely me that is the the problem, and what a hard pill to swallow that is. Now, for those of you who know me, I’m a pretty laid-back person. I can go all Type-A in 2.2 seconds, but most of the time I laugh easily and I’m fine.

During the SAD month, the person I become is not someone I’m fond of. And if you aren’t fond of yourself, that who else wants to be around you.

Usually, I’d be chomping at the bit over things like this, but today, not so much.

I even thought about taking a hiatus from blogging for awhile, but Homer and Squirrel Queen said “NO.” I think it’s because they know I’ll talk their ears off with my self-induced pity party.

So, alas, I whined this morning. I’ll be over it soon and I can already start to see the sun shining a bit, but in all honesty, I’ll be really glad when March 1 gets here.

But February. Man, it wears me out and I guess I just needed a bit of a blog venting.