Newscoma

I don’t know why this made me spew coffee this morning, but it did.

First of all, how did the groundhog and the woman get into a fight? Did the groundhog diss the woman’s mother? Was it over the love of another groundhog in some unseemly love triangle?

And why did this make the newspaper? So many mysteries around this one.

From Criggo

Welcome to my very tired brain, which is only operating at 60 percent today.

1. I am tired of snow and ice. It’s gone today, but it looks like it may be returning. I say Boo.
2. I am tired of gray skies which is making me go all S.A.D.
3. I am tired of Mabel spreading her dog food all over the floor at the temporary digs because I have stepped on it 500 times. When I think I’ve got it cleaned up, she does it again.
4. I am tired of my clumsy hands, which have dropped everything I’ve picked up today.
5. I’m tired of talking about tea parties.
6. I’m tired of mud. See #1.
7. I’m tired of my ridiculously stupid hair.
8. I’m tired of almost getting it but not getting it in the end.
9. I’m tired of the recession, especially how it’s hit my piggy bank.
10. I’m tired of insomnia.

So there you go. I realize this is a joyful post, but you can go look at this penguin to cheer you up. They apparently like snow.

Damn.

This is incredible. I’m feeling all Cash tonight.

As you can see, I changed the template.  The comments to the side aren’t rendering properly which has made me stabby. So, I guess I’m stating the obvious.

So, let’s chat because we can.

I’m in Memphis staying at Vibinc’s and as I sit here, Mabel is asleep on the futon. Mabel is a lousy houseguest as she has moved her bowl all over the great room and there is dog food everywhere which she eats one piece at a time. She has also licked his couch which is not dirty (get your minds out of the gutter) but is exactly what she’s done. I’ve taken her out twice today and it’s still icy on the grassy knoll of Ross’ front yard, which makes for slipsliding hilarity.

The is better than the Winter Olympics, campers.

This morning, a bird the size of Godzilla got into the house and pooped as I was chasing it around. I don’t know why this tickles me to no end, but it does. Mabel, after her curling incident which caused her undo embarrassment, paid no mind to the pterodactyl sized creature panicking as I was trying to send it on its way.

Lesson I learned, birds are pecky.

Last night, I was introduced to The Cove by TheoGeo, Dabney and Glen, Left Wing Cracker, Maynard and Ross, who was there for a few minutes before he had to go be The Student.

We talked of many things including the state of politics, the announcement of financial disclosures, newspapers, news as a whole and there was some guy at the bar who told me he was backing my boss, so there was also that.

It’s nice being able to go through this transition of being enmeshed in two towns (Hoots and Memphis) at this point of my life when people keep me company. I’ll admit it, I was worried about that to a degree.

I’m working on a couple of projects here in Elvisville before I head back to Hoots later this week. Today, I will give myself a present of crawfish bisque at the Blue Monkey, read more on politics in this fine city (learning Memphis politics is something, let me tell you) and see what this city has to offer.

I’m in a learning curve. And I’ve been pecked at by a bird which was a surprise.

Dumb pterodactyl.

Image Credit

Duff and Mabel are unimpressed by frozen water.

Jabba the UnGifted – A tale of snow horror

Team work in building Jabba the UnGifted

Run Away! Run Away! (in my best Monty Python voice.)

Well, it makes me feel good to see bright lipstick on puppets and Craig Ferguson.

I am not usually a praying girl, but right now I think I’ll say one for the state of mind in this country right now.

Last night we watched the Hope for Haiti telethon and watched a pretty classy, yet on the verge of tears at times, Conan O’Brien say goodbye after a rather nasty shafting by NBC (in which I have more thoughts about this here).

But, campers, you may have missed the most important story of the week.

Police arrested a Canton man accused of walking into a local Wal-Mart store early Friday morning and urinating on the counter containing steaks.

Now friends, I don’t know about you but I’m unpleasantly disgusted by this development about this amateur meat inspector.

Um, blech.  Why do we always hear about the most unseemly things happening at Wal-Mart? I blame terrorism.

Anyone up for a salad?

Chasing a sunbeam and finding it.

I have been more intrigued by the very public media drama on NBC but I probably should admit that I’ve never watched Jay Leno and only watched some Conan several years ago. Yeah, I own it. I guess I’m TeamCraigFerguson because I watch him every single day.

I’ve never liked Leno. I don’t think he’s funny. I do, however, think that Conan sort of got shafted but I don’t know what’s in his contract.I do like that instead of just taking this situation lying down, he’s fighting back.

The thing that amazes me is that NBC didn’t have a plan. I can’t think of anyone that thought primetime Leno would be better than late night Leno. Leno, my friends, was no Johnny Carson. No one will ever be like Carson. That’s why Letterman worked. That’s why Ferguson works. I’ve never seen Jimmy Fallon, so I don’t have an opinion there.
No plan. That slays me. And that’s just dumb business.

So, I’m with Wavey Rancheros.

Mark McGwire was my baseball player back in that wonderful summer in the 90s when Sammy Sosa and he battled it out for the home run record.

I was given a picture for Christmas that was a panoramic view of him circling the bases when he hit #70. I am a Cards fan, although I’m not as big of a fan now than I was then. It was the summer after we buried my mother in February and it captivated me. Got me out of my funk to a large degree and gave me something fun and joyful to believe in.

The past 12 years, we knew. If you were a fan of baseball, the telling sign was in 2005 when he invoked his fifth amendment right when asked about steroid use. All of the players sitting in front of the House Government Reform Committee might as well has just confessed then. It was what wasn’t said, or plum lied about, that sealed the deal for so many Americans. That’s when I took that beloved picture that Squirrel Queen gave me off the wall.

We knew that the fantasy season that had given us so much joy was just set up on a false house of cards.

I will say that I don’t think that McGwire is a bad man. He’s done a lot for abused children, he seemed to be rather decent and without the ego of so many overpaid sports figures but he lied. And he lied badly. Who hasn’t, but still …

In my mind, Roger Maris holds the record.

In Hoots, you know when folks like someone because they will say “he’s a good ol’ boy.” I find this to be extremely charming. I find that men say this more than women do. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman say it.

I guess I will, just to even things out in the cosmos. This isn’t really going anywhere, but it’s something that Squirrelly and I discussed yesterday and it made us laugh. It really is a compliment when you hear it in a sentence.

2009 is over. I was just reminding you in case you didn’t know because that pesky mainstream media forgot to mention it the past few days. You would have never remembered if I hadn’t reminded you.

As you know, Mr. Jimmy is one of my favorite people. I was blessed to see him on New Year’s Eve. We didn’t do anything really except made a brief appearance and then like good little footsoldiers in their 40s, headed to Chez Coma. SQ fell asleep and I dorked around on the interwebz. The highlight though was hearing Mr. Jimmy cuss up a blue storm, wave his cane around and tell me that I could NOT have his picture made with him.

I won but it was a challenge.

I truly believe that Mr. Jimmy needs to go to Nashville or Washington. Things would be cleaned up in no time.  He’s sort of been out of site lately and celebrated a birthday last week, but this was his first time out of the house so we helped him a bit belatedly. He played a bit of the curmudgeon for a few minutes, but you could tell he was having a great time.

His hat is always smashing.

I realize I look craptacular but his hand in this picture creeping out there was fabulous. He’s a handsome gent.

So let’s lift our dirty glasses from last night, and celebrate this new year.

And let’s also remember that Mr. Jimmy is a good ol’ boy. (I told you I’d work it in.)