I believe that when two people get married, they should like each other. I know, Cap’n Obvious has entered the building.

If I were to ever get married, there would have to be some rules. First of all, Elvis would have to marry us in Vegas. That’s a requirement. Another rule is that my betrothed would have to know that I get violent when people touch my feet or touch me when I’m yawning or stretching. I hate that.

I am a closet romantic. I love love. And I’m just going to own it, I cry at weddings. I do not cry at funerals. I don’t know why but that’s just how I am. Weddings, I think, bring out the best in people and thoughts of romance and love, choosing to share a bond with someone and inherent joy is quite wonderful.  Getting married is optimistic and idealism at its best, because we look at that two people decide to take the same path together.

Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends. The person that wrote that quote is named Harville Hendrix. I think it pretty much sums up what I believe marriage is all about.

Congratulations to Dabney and Glen. May they have a life filled with joy together. They really are amazing together.

Wait, wrong Elvis.

Being that I’m on the upswing with some new things happening, I have started to pay attention a little bit more closely. Sometimes we know things are happening but there really aren’t words to express what our friends, loved ones and acquaintances are going through.

I have realized that some folks are just as bruised and wounded as I have felt. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m feeling much better but I see other people that aren’t and there are times that you can’t even see the signs.

My generation had it all layed out. We knew what we wanted and we, and here is the kicker, expected it to work out.  It has for some but not so much for others.  Loss and grief is a part of life and we are not our parents or our grandparents generation. Things have changed drastically. We used to have small networks that understood emotional things yet never spoke of them. Now we talk about them in larger networks.

We want more now but are only willing to give less. I have realized that time is not that hard to give and to arrogantly hold on to those moments selfishly only creates more walls for us personally that will eventually have to be torn down anyway.

Life is filled with moments.

• The homeless man at the Mapco at Cooper-Young in Memphis, who asked me if I’d had a nice day. He was older, his clothes frayed and a torn toboggan on his head. I stopped to give him a few minutes because he obviously just wanted to talk for a minute. He asked for nothing but a bit of time, which I had.
• The woman I have known for years who found herself at 50-years-old in an abusive relationship. I made the calls. She had never been through anything like this before. Her eyes were shell-shocked.
• The man who had been unemployed for three years who was on the verge of getting another job. I just listened. He was honest and said he felt like “damaged goods” and was afraid to get his hopes up.
• She is always angry. I have been the recipient of that deep fury on a couple of occasions. I realized that she has to be angry at someone. At times, I listen. At other times, when I am also bruised, I walk away. There are times that you just have to know your limitations.

There are storms. We get through them. The hardest part is to remember that as humans, we bruise. It’s even more difficult to remember that sometimes those bruises cannot be seen and that other people have them as well.

I’m constantly learning this lesson.

Could we get Rep. Mark Maddox or Sen. Roy Herron on this please or am I on my own?

I’m on my own I have a sad feeling.

I finally ended up at a juke joint I hadn’t been in for awhile and saw the very famous Dirk Diggler, who was looking chipper, who tried to be just another person on the list that tried to explain NASCAR to me. This list of fine, concerned folks have tried to explain this soap opera of wheels and gears to me before and I appreciated him trying to teach me, especially about some bad, intentional wreck last week but I still don’t get the allure of NASCAR, but I do enjoy people trying to educate me about it. I think that I like that best. I also don’t understand neurosurgery either, so there is that.

He had seen a statue of a monkey holding a baby monkey near a dumpster. He had deemed it close enough to be Bigfoot and decided he was going to get it for me as a gift. When he returned to pick it up, it was sadly gone.  The fact that someone was willing to dumpster dive for me to get a statue of “Bigfoot” tickled me to no end. As I haven’t been in Hoots very much recently, it was also good to see Mr. Jimmy. He didn’t look like he felt very good so I didn’t get to hear him cuss. I was admittedly somewhat disappointed because I usually learn new curse words that I try to incorporate into everyday life from him.

I heard talk of newspapers, which honestly this time, I recused myself mentally from because I don’t work for one anymore and it was of the one I used to be at. I have found that listening is better than participation because I don’t need to throw gasoline on a fire. I was too close to the situation so it’s hard for me to be unbiased. It’s taken me eight months to learn that lesson because these are my friends from there.

They are still living it. I am not.

I’ve been on the road so my time is not my own right now. I love being busy. I love meeting new people, so life is good. As I keep telling myself that it’s become a reality. I’m pleased to know that sometimes when you do indeed talk the talk, walking the walk becomes much easier.

And to all the bloggers I’ve met in the past few weeks, ones that I have known before and new ones I’ve met, thanks for keeping me sane and keeping me company.

That’s what makes this little place on the web quite wonderful. It gave me all of you.

Now, with that said because I’m going to do some self-promotion here, put Speak to Power in your RSS feeds if you are so inclined, join us on Facebook or on Twitter.

Thanks guys.

Vibinc kept the fires going over at Speak to Power and Squirrel Queen was patient because last week, and for three days this week, I didn’t even have time to think. That could be good or it could be bad, one never knows until they get the hindsight glasses on.

I find myself talking about politics a great deal, as that’s what I sorta do now, but I am having to physically and verbally set some boundaries about it because my brain gets a bit overfull.

So last night, I drowned myself in bad television, ate a bowl of tomato soup which is my comfort food and tried to heal a sore throat.

Tis my own fault as I sometimes forget to wear a jacket.

Cheetos Gazing

I’m feeling a bit disconnected with Hoots right now for the mere fact that I’m not here. When I’m here, it is usually doing some recovery time from driving, neuron malfunctions and spending time with my family. The time spent unemployed did have a positive impact where friendships were nurtured because I had the time to spend with friends without having to be confined to a schedule. Now my time is more limited and I’m having to get back in a routine of organization and structure, which isn’t always easy when you are living out of a suitcase. I have it easier that most and I don’t know how the bossman does it, but he does. Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling but there are times that I just need to take out my brain, put it in the refrigerator and take a cranium break. I plan on doing that on Monday. Yes, campers, I plan for my mental health breaks these days. I know, fascinating.

Today, I head back to Memphis for the evening as I’m going to a wedding shower and SQ has a tournament game she has to attend for work. Yeppers, it’s high school tournament time again which means the Squirrel Goddess doesn’t know where she’s going to be from one game to the next. As I have barely seen her since the beginning of the year, I’m going to travel with her a bit in the next week. Work is work, but you have to concentrate on your relationships too. It’s important.

And, as I’m having to schedule myself (I am as unorganized as a squirrel who’s licked the bottom of an abandoned cooler of anhydrous for meth making) I’m having to learn to be more assertive about time, which you kinda lose when you aren’t working. I have learned that I have had to regain that ability to say Yes, No and Argh.

Anyway, it’s not too bad really because I like being busy and useful.

One good thing about Hoots is that when I returned late Thursday, I got to hear ghost stories, as you know that I love, about a local bar and grill.

There aren’t complaints here in the least, just learning new things about myself, meeting fabulous new people and trying to get through the transition that is life. Speaking of meeting amazing new people, Rep. Jeanne Richardson has given me a new addiction, which is Memphis-styled collard greens.
I could eat them everyday. Thanks Jeanne!

I think I need collard greens rehab because they are incredible.

This is that time of year I usually take a break, mentally at least. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my mom’s death. As I do every year, I’m processing it, processing my life since she left us and wondering about things like I always do.

As I’m in a bit of a writer’s block, I will tell you to go here and read what I said last year about her. I know that’s blog cheating but I just can’t bear to rip it open right now again.
So have a good weekend. Tell someone that you love how you feel out loud and be kind to one another.