Dear Miles O’Brien

Posted by newscoma | Posted in Alien Abductions | Posted on 25-11-2008

You have made me smile this week. As a true fan of anything like aliens, Bigfoot sightings, chupacabra rumors and cheese, CNN is giving me a case of the happies.

And the fact that you unapologetically reported yesterday that you have personally seen a UFO just makes me giddy.

Alas, I’ve never seen an alien. I would actually love to see one but not the kind that inhabit your body and eat their way out of your stomach. That would give me the wiggums.

The idea, however, that you are having fun with this story this week. I know, there are a lot of journalists out there rolling their eyes. Not me. I did a Gingersnaps Squee when you interviewed Milton Torres.

You are living my dream job right now. I admit I’m jealous but also swooning from the joy of it all.

So, if you need an assistant, I’m your girl. Call me Brenda Starr. As Weekly World News isn’t hiring me, I feel that CNN is the next logical step. You can be the Space and Technology dude and I can be the Odd News/Bigfoot/Aliens/X-Files Correspondent.

I have references.

Love,

Newscoma

UFO Alien Endorses John McCain

Posted by newscoma | Posted in Tennessee | Posted on 30-10-2008

At least according to Weekly World News, as is the tradition.

This cracks me up:

WASHINGTON, DC - In a shocking reversal with major implications for the U.S. presidential election, political kingmaker, the Alien has switched his endorsement from Barack Obama to John McCain amid furor. Both political camps are buzzing about the implications, as the Alien has correctly predicted the winning president in every election for the past 28 years.

Ongoing investigation points to Cindy McCain as being the cause for this historic shift in allegiances.

Uncovered photos suggest that in a last ditch effort to help her husband’s failing campaign, Cindy McCain seduced and then blackmailed the Alien for his endorsement.

Well, the alien has always endorsed. He’s going with McCain.

Weekly World News, I’m tired of our game. Just hire me already.

Denver Alien Video

Posted by newscoma | Posted in Newscoma | Posted on 31-05-2008

So, here’s the video of the Denver Alien that was released yesterday.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN-SNd3OYfc]

I have a theory, so bear with me. First of all, this is a country that can’t keep secrets to save it’s life. What I mean is, that if the alien was in Gitmo Bay, we wouldn’t know about it. But if this guy, Stan Romanek, has had this video for five years, I think we would have heard about it. Why?

Here’s the story:


Romanek had allegedly set up a camera in order to catch evidence of a peeping tom whom he’d feared was preying on his daughters. Romanek did not particpate in Friday’s press conference, but did appear Friday night on CNN’s “Larry King Live,” along with Peckman, and other guests.

At Friday’s press conference, although the Romanek video was shown, photographers were asked to turn their cameras away, and not roll while it was exhibited. However, media members were given compact discs with a single, still image from the tape, purporting to show an alien’s head looking in a window of Romanek’s home.

I have to admit that I was watching Doctor Who last night and missed out on Larry King. Well, I don’t know if miss is the right word because, you know, it’s Larry King.

Here’s where I’m cynical grrl.

Money.

Plain and simple, capitalism would drive something of this nature. And, sorry, it does look like a puppet. I agree with the naysayers. I know, I’m usually more optimistic than this but it’s true. Now, there are arm-chair traditionalists like me that would love to see something like this happen and I would love to write for Weekly World News and am still reeling from the sad fact that they aren’t around anymore (Bat Boy, call me.)

Just call me KolchakComa. I even have the hat.

And, let’s keep in mind elusive creatures like the Giant Squid that we know exist but you just aren’t going to see them. Wait, that just changed.

Jeff Peckham, who is trying to set up a extraterrestrial commission in Denver, is also about publicity. My cynicism comes from that there are a ton of paranormal/alien associations and societies across the country. Let’s look at Roswell, NM. The money flows there, FLOWS.

Or is Peckham a believer to put himself out for so much scrutiny?

He says he is.

I’m think it’s arrogant to think that some things don’t exist just because I’ve never see them. I’ve never seen Clay Aiken face to face and he changes his look all the time completely confusing me. I also hear he sings although I have no idea what he croons about. Is he real? I have to make the assumption that he is.

The news, in a small part, has been following this. If Aliens were to land, the news media would shat itself trying to get the footage. Giving reporters a CD with a still photo and asking them to shut off their cameras just doesn’t make sense to me.

If aliens were to arrive, small microbes from space or people who look like Yul Brynner (I’m on a bald kick right now), networks would have alien pundits on the tube faster than you could say E.T., and the tickers at the bottom of the screen would be going wild.

Just saying.

UPDATE: This isn’t the official video going into the documentary. This is something else floating around.

Alien Commissioner Wanted In Denver

Posted by newscoma | Posted in Newscoma | Posted on 30-05-2008

Just for the record, I am completely sure that I’m going to be disappointed later today with the purported alien video.

But I’m going to watch it any way.

And I’m hearing that they need an alien commissioner in Denver.

I offer my services.

Alien Video To Be Seen Tomorrow?

Posted by newscoma | Posted in Newscoma | Posted on 29-05-2008

Hell, I might have to take the day off.

Here’s the story:

A video that purportedly shows a living, breathing space alien will be shown to the news media Friday in Denver.

Jeff Peckman, who is pushing a ballot initiative to create an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission in Denver to prepare the city for close encounters of the alien kind, said the video is authentic and convinced him that aliens exist.

“As impressive as it is, it’s still one tiny portion in the context of a vast amount of peripheral evidence,” he said Wednesday. “It’s really the final visual confirmation of what you already know to be true having seen all the other evidence.”

When Peckman went before city officials this month to discuss his proposed ET initiative, he promised to show the video.

Peckman said the general public will have to wait to see it because it’s being included in a documentary by Stan Romanek.

“No one will be allowed to film the segment with the extraterrestrial because there is an agreement in place limiting that kind of exposure during negotiations for the documentary,” he said.

But people won’t have to wait too long to see it for themselves.

There’s more over at the Rocky Mountain News.

You know the movie “Independence Day” where the girl is excited and waits on the top of a skyscraper only to be eviscerated by the aliens because she wants to say Hi.

Yeah, that’s me.

Catholic Church Says There Could Be UFOs

Posted by newscoma | Posted in Newscoma | Posted on 14-05-2008

The Catholic Church is saying some things. No, not about communion, but about aliens. From Mars.

The Pope’s chief astronomer says that life on Mars cannot be ruled out.

Writing in the Vatican newspaper, the astronomer, Father Gabriel Funes, said intelligent beings created by God could exist in outer space.

Father Funes, director of the Vatican Observatory near Rome, is a respected scientist who collaborates with universities around the world.

The search for forms of extraterrestrial life, he says, does not contradict belief in God.

As you know, I always wanted to work for Weekly World News. Then they shut down. Then I became shiftless, started drinking too much, lost my way, tried to write bad poetry about Yetis and attempted to seek BatBoy out by myself.

Alas, I lost my funding. It was only $3.64 but it went towards the cause.

One of these days, some big outfit is going to hire my happy self to cover big stories about Bigfoot. And we know, of course, now this photo is true.

The truth is out there. ;)

Alien Bigfoot!?!!

Posted by newscoma | Posted in Tennessee | Posted on 23-01-2008

Well, hot damn!

0_61_mars_spirit_figure.jpg

ARM outstretched, head tilted in mid-stride — is this mystery figure the final proof that life exists on Mars?

The intriguing image was captured by Nasa’s six-wheeled robot explorer Spirit during its three-month mission to study the surface of the Red Planet.

Snapped at the rock-strewn Gusev Crater, believed by scientists to be the bed of an ancient lake, the grainy picture appears to show a Bigfoot-style alien creature strolling casually down a hill.

Its bulbous “head” is cocked to one side, as if in concentration, while its right “arm” appears to be reaching out for balance.

Woot! Alien Bigfoot makes me long for Weekly World News.

UFOs Among Us

Posted by newscoma | Posted in Tennessee | Posted on 08-11-2007

 

 

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Go here and read about Aliens.
Seriously.

 

And yeah, Squirrel Queen is friggin’ awesome.

Newscoma Rss