in my family.

Been offline for a few days. A funeral and blogging do not mix.

Squirrel Queen’s grandmother passed.

I’m sort of their family too. So I’ve been offline for five days. Man, there is a lot to tell as we did Relay for Life this weekend as well as Walk of Hope for our parents.

Tomorrow, I’ll write about this. I can’t tonight.

Tim Chavez writes of a little boy who died of leukemia but who had a vision that showed compassion for others.

More Americans are going to become homeless, as they lose their homes from foreclosure and their jobs from consumers no longer spending. Hard times are coming and are already here in some places of this nation and state. Tennessee’s governor is getting ready to throw more thousands of the most vulnerable off health care rolls and state workers off their jobs.

So Brendan’s call to care must not die with him and one news cycle.

Read about Brendan at Political Salsa.

SleepyDad heard the same news that so many of us hear. His father has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. He’s dealing with it.

So I’m spending the Month of November growing a moustache. Technically it’s a Van Dyke right now.. and technically that’s against the rules.. but I’ll get to that in a second.

A few weeks ago, my Dad was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. Based on all the tests they’ve done, things look like it’ll be okay. Scans indicate that, as well as anyone can tell, the cancer doesn’t look like it’s spread. And, although the biopsy indicates the cancer is pretty aggressive, this particular kind of cancer is about 90% treatable. Dad’s begun a kind of hormone therapy that, by all accounts, does an incredible job at stopping the cancerous cells in their tracks.

So we remain cautiously optimistic. And in another couple of months, they’ll do some follow-up tests and we’ll know if this therapy has been effective and go from there.

You may be asking– What the hell does all this have to do with Facial Hair?

Go find out here why the ’stache.

Me, I’m working on a soul patch.

I was at the office yesterday working on some stuff when I heard the news about Ted Kennedy. My heart sank a bit for more than just the obvious reasons. Kennedy has a brain tumor as I’m sure you already know.

My mother had a brain tumor. Her’s was metastasized from another location. I knew when I heard that he had a seizure, as she did repeatedly, that when he was rushed to the hospital it wasn’t of the good.

If you have ever been through something like this, then you know how bad it is.

I noticed that most folks regardless of their political affiliation have been very kind about his health.

Everyone but Michael Savage.

My mother lost all her hair when she had cancer. We ended up shaving her head. It was hard but then again, as we were and are a family that laughs when we are in pain, we teased her and she even called herself Spock because her ears were kind of pointy.

It was better for her because the chemo made her hair fly about and it was hard for her to breath.

I thought she looked fabulous.

My friend, Katrina, talks about losing her hair and writes about it with such a frankness and a sense of humor that I can’t help but admire her. I know she looks great.

So, Robin Roberts, I salute you. What you said is wonderful and, thanks, because you are helping people like my mom.

“I’ve taken my cue from people here and from viewers, especially [cancer] survivors . . . who said, ‘When it’s time to literally flip your wig, you’ll know,’ ” Roberts said. “I am not my hair,” she said, quoting from the song by India.Arie. “I am the soul that lies within and that’s it – no more wig. That’s it.” Roberts will auction her wig to raise money for a charity that helps “those who don’t have insurance and can’t afford this.”

None of these women want to have cancer. My mother didn’t want to lose her hair.

It’s good to see someone not define themselves by flowing locks.

So I think this is really wonderful.

And this is what she wrote:

According to Dr. Harvey Gilbert of the Gilbert Guide, there are several factors to consider in the assessment includes functional status, other illnesses, social support, medications and more.

Though the length of survival and quality of life depends on the type of cancer and the treatment, there are some factors that assist the physician in life expectancy discussions.

When my mother was sick, one thing we never asked was “how long?” because it was obvious that a diagnosis of Stage IV lung cancer wasn’t good, and I really didn’t want her to hear a prediction because I felt that she might behave and respond as if the time was a known fact.

Healthcare is an odd, evasive thing these day.

Serious illness is also evasive, what do you say? What don’t you say?

It must be done. Ask the always practical and beautiful Katrina. She is a perfect example of dealing with an illness with grace and courage.

And I adore her.

Put GenBetween in your feedreader. Immediately. She’s a nurse. Also put Katrina in your reader. They both are of so much value and grace.

And they are both fantastic.

I’m not going to write about my mom today. I’ve done that before. Today is the tenth anniversary of the death of my mother. For me to go into any detail of this day, which is significant in the life of my family, I would just say it means a lot to us and I’m trying to figure out what to do on a personal level that would have some significance for myself about today. It’s a private thing that runs as deep as the Mississippi River. It’s hard to put those feelings into words.

To say I feel sort of lost and insignificant is an understatement.

No, this morning, I want to talk about life and survival and one woman who I have so much respect and admiration for that it’s hard to put into words.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m wishing Scout many kind wishes this morning. Her grandmother is ill. I worked with gma for years before she retired in 2006. There are kind women in this world and Scout’s grandmother is one of them. She literally was the backbone of local politics for fifty years in our neck of the woods as she worked in the County Mayor’s office up until her retirement. She is a blessing and things are grave.

Nurse Elizabeth noticed that my grandmother (We’ll just call her gma, the Finn/Scout texting abbrev for grandmother) had turned an eerie shade of yellow this past Sunday. Gma came home from church early because she was “too tired and weak to stand it anymore,” and Elizabeth convinced her to go to the doctor the next day. Despite gma’s trying to talk Elizabeth out of it, she couldn’t put up enough of a fight and ended up being taken to the doctor anyway. At the hospital, they determined that she had hemolytic anemia and needed a blood transfusion pronto so my sister and dad took her up to a hospital in Paducah to have the transfusion done. Her doctor took one look at her and ushered my dad and sister out in the hall for a conference. He said that he believed that the lymphoma she’d had three years ago had come out of a dormant state and was very quickly taking over her blood because it had come back much stronger than before.

Arrangements are now being made for chemotherapy, but the doctor is not really giving us much hope at this point.

We are sending much love to Mrs. Doris and to her entire family right now.

The last two weeks have been pretty amazing. I’ve learned a great deal about my community, about the human spirit and about myself.

The benefit last night went very well. We think we raised roughly $10,000 for the Stewman. Final tallies aren’t in, but that’s what I was told last night. It could run a bit less or a bit more.

I was thinking about all of this as I was drinking my coffee this morning. I talked to some folks last night that have been impacted by the devastation of cancer and how they gave back. In this world, money is important, but there are other things that help our neighbors and friends.

You know, sometimes the money is just part of it. God knows it helps and is necessary but there were other things I learned last night that were such a wonderful example of the human spirit.

—-To the woman who gave her hair to Locks of Love. She didn’t have any money, but she had something to give, and give she did.

—-To the artists who called me and said I only have my work to offer. Is that enough? Jeez, yes. YES. It’s more than enough. You gave yourself.

—-To the two people that worked on the event during their off time dealing with their own health issues, I am awed and humbled to just be in your presence and you know who you are.

—-To Chris Brinkley’s son, who fell asleep during the auction and looked so completely and utterly beautiful as he was being carried out. Who gave his time as well, as his father worked diligently to raise money for his friend.

—-To the people in the blogosphere who have left comments on The Stewman’s blog and let him know that you were thinking of him. Those kind words mean a whole lot more than you think they do. As the Great Ivy told me once, getting a comment is like getting a $20 bill. Those comments mean a great deal. Communication, even with those people that you don’t know, is so very important.

—- To those of you who donated financially to the event to a man you do not know, I thank you.

—- A special thank you to Holly, who drove an hour and stayed with Scout, taking money for T-shirts, DVDs and CDs who stayed much later than I even expected her to. (And had to be back at school at 7:30 a.m this morning.) If you do not know Holly and Scout, you should. They are lovely people who gave a most valuable commodity and that is their time. They live-blogged the event, and they were really funny and utterly charming. And yes, I did go into the bathroom with a dude. Completely and purely innocent, I assure you.

—-To the guy that sat down with me who gave me a break for a few minutes where we talked about politics. (Imagine that.)

I have two favorite quotes and I put one over at The Friends of The Stewman blog yesterday.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

Margaret Mead

“Well-behaved women rarely make history”

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

The last quote I just like.

So thanks.

Now back to your regularly scheduled Newscoma.

On a lot of levels, I’m telling you.

I’ve been writing here for the last three weeks about the benefit for my friend, Stew Byars. I want to talk a little about him this morning because we are having a fundraiser tonight in Martin. I’ve gotten a lot of emails about him and I thought I’d just take a few minutes to chat about him. It’s one thing to tell you about this great guy that we love in northwest Tennessee who has cancer, but then it’s completely another for me to tell you why we love him.

You see, lots of folks get sick. Lots of folks get cancer. And those of us who love them don’t know what to do. So I’m going to tell you about why we are doing this. I can’t share some of the other people’s stories. I can only share mine.

When my mother became sick in 1996, she was diagnosed with lung cancer that had metastasized into her brain. I knew she was sick before she ever went to the doctor. She had trouble walking, she complained about seeing spots and her energy level was nil. Finally, we got her to the doctor and he said she had a severe sinus infection. One week later, after she went on a roller coaster into feeling 1000 times worse, she went back to the doctor and they ran an MRI. It was one week before Christmas and the doctor met me outside the hospital room. My father had gone to take care of some business and I had the grown up lesson that we get when life throws you a curveball. He told me she had a mass in her lung and it had spread to three different parts of her brain. I remember being very calm during all of this and feeling absolutely nothing. I asked how bad and he said it was.

There was nothing left to say at that point. I remember asking about options and he said we could “try”. I then asked him if it was terminal and he just nodded.

Homer and I called Big Daddy and told him the news which has to be the worst night of my entire life on my 42 years on this planet. So, for the next 14 months, she endured horrible chemo, radiation to her head and a remission that lasted about a month.

And we just loved her because it’s all we had.

My mother died in February of 1998 after a hard-fought battle. Homer, Big Daddy and I are approaching the ten year anniversary of her death.

Not a single day goes by that I don’t miss her.

With that said, the powerlessness was amazing. If any of you have ever lost a parent to cancer or any other life-threatening disease and watched them fade away, you know what I’m talking about.

You might say that this benefit for the Stewman is cathartic for me, and you would be right. I saw him on Friday and the chemo, although it is making him sick, has helped. He lifted his left arm in front of Squirrel Queen and I on Friday. I was so proud for him and the smile on his face was infectious. You couldn’t help but just laugh because he has only been able to crawl it up his body to use it since last September.

Do we feel powerless about the cancer that our friend is fighting?

Yes.

Are we trying to do what we CAN to help him, things that we have a bit of control over. That’s also a yes.

We can’t make the cancer go away, but we can help him. Cancer treatment is not cheap. He is not working now because every moment is spent getting better. The cancer, my friends, is that bad.

So we are doing what the chairman of our little committee said quite eloquently last month that we “have” to do because it all we can do. And because he would do it for us.

Throughout the day, we will be putting updates about the benefit here. We want to help just a little. Are we fighting our own demons? Probably.

Are we trying to raise a bit of money for a person who has been our mentor, our friend and has lifted us when we could not do the heavy lifting for ourselves?

Yes.

BadBadIvy has committed to buy a T-shirt. If anyone in the Nashville blogosphere is interested in buying a T-shirt designed by Squirrel Queen, I will bring it to you personally within the next couple of weeks to The Sportsman’s Grill in Nashville. They are $20 a piece and they are pretty groovy. (A picture of Mabel and a Newscoma emblem is on the back of them as a sponsor.)

Information about the day’s events will be posted at the official Friends of the Stewman blog. I’ll keep you updated all day about how things are going, and if Holly and Scout are interested, will get them to live blog some of the event over there as well this evening at the FofS blog.

We are doing what we have a bit of control over because we can’t cure the cancer. But we can make it a little more comfortable for him.

So if you can, visit the site, buy a T-shirt, leave a nice sentiment for him as that blog will archive the event.

Hi campers. Today is the day that Newscoma pulls her hair out due to an impossible schedule, but I wanted to thank everyone out there who have been so wonderful in assisting with the Friends of the Stewman benefit. Special thanks to Melissa Kent of Clear Channel, Christian Grantham, Sharon Cobb and Kathy T. for their donations to the event. If anyone is wanting to make a donation, you can go through Pay Pal and make a donation through friendsofthestewman at yahoo dot com. Let me know if you do!

Melissa works for WSIX and 107.5 The River in Nashville and she heard about all of this and has thrown in her support. She is from here and used to work for me when I owned a magazine called “our town” where we starved together in the early days of our career. Much love is being sent to Melissa right now.

Other props are being sent to singer Tracy Lawrence through Melissa who has sent some donations including a signed cowboy hat to be auctioned off. Woot. Thanks Tracy.

For all of you who have linked to the Stewman’s blog and posted the benefit which is next Monday night, we all wanted to say thanks. Special props to Michael Silence and Bad, Bad Ivy for keeping you guys up to date on the event as well.

I talked to the Stewman last night. He had his big chemo treatment yesterday and although he is sick as a dog, he’s in good spirits. When I say big chemo, it’s the one where he sits on an IV drip for about 7 and 1/2 hours.

Needless to say, it isn’t fun.

I am honored to be part of this community. All of you are just wonderful.

(Update: I wanted to add the lovely and amazing Holly Wynne will be selling T-shirts Monday night at the event and will be driving in for the event. THANKS HOLLY!)