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Our vice-president has the compassion of a Q-Tip.

So Edwards, Obama and Clinton are all in a dead heat in Iowa. Obama is getting the Superman treatment, Edwards says Obama is too nice and Hillary Clinton is trying to get Bill not to eat another cheeto because they are bad for him all while telling voters if she can protect Bill, she can protect Americans. Although Edwards says he will add Bill to his White House if he wins the presidency.

Of course he will. Bill Clinton is more popular than anyone running in 2008. (Of course, that’s just my opinion. It’s also my opinion that I think Al Gore probably laughed at ManBearPig because he has a sense of humor, which others don’t share with me.)

Sorry, I’m a progressive and I just couldn’t pass that up. I offer my apologies ahead of time.

The GOP candidates are fighting like my dogs do over a scrap of macaroni and cheese or the last bit of a hot dog. Man, McCain and Huckabee apparently want to run together because they sho’ don’t like Romney.

“APOLOGIZE!!” Huckabee is screaming at Romney.

***crickets***

“NOW!” Huckabee yowls, joined by the scratchy voice of John McCain. It is a symphony of Republican tenors that rivals only the now-deceased stylings of Luciano Pavoratti.

***crickets***

Nashville voters should be scratching their heads and getting on the phone so their vote makes a difference because right now, there are questions.

So here it is. I will not vote for a presidential candidate in a primary who is trying to offer me fear. I will vote for one that gives me hope.

And that laughs at ManBearPig. (Wait, he’s not running. Damn.)

If politics bores the heck out of you, go here. It’s a picture of a puppy.

Keep this man away from it.

Time Magazine asked some famous folks about who they thought was person of the year. NBC Anchor Brian Williams had a pretty good one but I have to give props to Stephen King. I like the fact that he’s becoming a bit of a curmudgeon with really good hair.

He said this:

Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan symbolize the media’s growing obsession with issues of personality over substance. People care more about the details of Spears’ child-custody case than they do about where the billions the U.S. government has poured into Iraq have gone. It’s time for a discussion about whether the news media have chucked their responsibilities and run off to Tabloid Disneyland.

Of course, Squirrel Queen said it was her as I began writing this post.

My vote is for Dick Cheney’s cardiologist. How he ever found a heart underneath all that is an act not of a doctor, but a miracle worker.

Just saying with a bit of snark on this fine Tuesday morning.

So, is Dick Cheney backing Barack Obama for president?

Just asking.

(Broken link fixed.)