NewscomaGot A Two-Pack Habit And A Motel Tan

I have spoken of Ms. Sherri many times.

Now you get to meet her minpin, Venus.

This just cracks me up.

Sometimes, I take pictures to amuse myself as isn’t that what blogging is all about. That would be my dog, Duff, who looks suspiciously like my grandmother of my father’s side in some ways. She’s pretty cool. The blind dog sitting at her right is oblivious to the squirrel rave going on.

I guess I’m on a dog theme today as there are 16 of them in the house. Yes, 16 dogs. Five adults ones and  11 puppies.

This is not my dog but it made me laugh so hard I almost passed out.

Cracks me up.

Do you think I could get a reality show like that mother who just had those eight kids with all these dang dogs?

From One-Celled Creature via Neatorama

Mabel and Jura stand watch over the antebellum carpet Pinky as she delivers her last pup.

I think there are some baby dogs coming very soon.

I introduce you once again to Pinky.

She joined Chez Coma on New Year’s Day. Apparently she had a boyfriend at one time before we had the pleasure of meeting her.

As you can tell, Mabel is none to happy with this development and is keeping away from the Pinkster.

So the little dogs, Duff and Mabel, wait outside for when the new arrivals will be entering this world. They would have bought cigars for the occasion, but alas, they cannot drive and they do not have money.

A maternity ward has been set up in a half bathroom at Chez Coma for the mother-to-be and her spawn. We even have signs made by Bear who obviously is going to be a lawyer or a hairdresser later in life as to warn anyone to stay away from the sterile area. (Yeah, right.)

As you can see, Pinks is very tired and ready to get this puppypalooza on the road.

We are in waiting mode for the time being.

Knocked Up Dog

Pinks is pregnant. I don’t know anything ’bout birthin’ dog babies so I’m eyeballing her suspiciously. And where is the father I ask you!

Ahh, the perils of a single dog’s life. One moment of the intense need to continue the dog population and Chez Coma is looking at puppies. Apparently she was knocked up when we got her on New Year’s Day as she sort of showed up and didn’t leave. This happens at my house more than you think. So the commune will go from five dogs to a bunch of dogs.

Garsh.

I know nothing about the pregnancy of canines. So, I had some access to some old papers, I have an old Martha Stewart comforter that I was going to toss anyway and we are battening down the hatches. The vet said there will be at least six puppies in the litter.

Do I boil hot water?

Okay, I read this online. Yes, I got my Google-Fu on about being a mid-wife to a dog. Shut up.

The actual delivery can be anticipated by several means. The first way is to look up the actual due date based upon the breeding dates. Another method is checking the mother’s temperature. The normal temperature of a dog is 101F. Many times, a female will drop to below 100F within twelve to twenty-four hours of delivery. This method will work on the majority of pregnant dogs.

There are other ways to tell if your dog is about to deliver. She will often become restless with a greater need to go out and urinate. Pacing, panting, and digging at the nest are also clues the time is near. One other sign is a discharge from the vagina. This will often start out clear, change to a pale green and then to a dark green. This dark green means there has been placental detachment and puppies are immanent. If your dog has not had any puppies within a couple hours of this discharge’s appearance, contact you veterinarian for assistance.

In most cases, help from the owner is not required.

I like that last sentence.

I can look at car wrecks and dead people all day long but if anything smells like vomit, I’m a support system. You barf, I barf. Yes, I know that is disgusting. No, I don’t apologize for this navel gazing moment. Sending out the bat signal to ChristinaJade for pup advice.

On to other things because I’m getting a bit grossed out.

Hoots has been pretty cool lately although I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop regarding my place of employment. Any, and everyone, who is in my chosen profession is going through these feelings but I’m trying to be proactive.

Now, with that said, I need to learn video a little bit better (ALL RIGHT, A LOT BETTER, once again I tell you to hush) because I have found a guy that I want to tape. He has worked for Goodyear for nearly forty years and breaks down what is happening to long-term employers there better than I’ve ever seen. I could write about him all day long and it just won’t do justice to how he tells his story. I’m starting to realize that I need to do what I can. I’ve thrown my camera and/or mic into people’s faces for years. I am learning that I just need to do that with video but it’s still not natural to me.

My camera is just a 10 megapixel point and shoot and I just don’t think it’s going to get the complete story of this guy. He’s just bigger than life. When he’s talking, I just can’t look away. And I think other folks would feel the same way.

So there is that. And I need to use the video portion of my camera (it’s relatively new) because I need a new computer before I invest in video equipment. I guess if I could splice tape off a reel-to-reel 20 years ago, I can learn this.

Now, I saw Mr. Jimmy yesterday and he has calmed down about the cat head biscuits. Did I tell you he always has a library book in his possession? There is something so very cool about that.

And, of course, this is groovy.

She hates having her picture made as much as this girl …

It’s always dog days at Chez Coma.

This is my life.

H/T Eat Liver

Made me laugh:

H/T D-Listed

It’s weird. Since last Thursday, I’ve had about 40 people join me on Twitter. I honestly don’t know what to say when people join me there other than hi.

I wonder if that they think I’m odd asking for Vodka and Vicodon because there are a jillion children at my house. Don’t get me wrong, these are nice kids, they are playing with the new dog, who I like quite well and has somewhat pissed off Mabel, who will have nothing to do with her.

The kids named the dog. Squeegee Monkey and I wanted to name the dog Jeff, Homer was set on another name and Squirrel Queen liked Hildegaard.

The kids took a vote and the dog is name Pinkey.

They have been playing Rock Band for what feels like a gajillion hours and, of course, I’m cursing the heavens because there is not a decent sports bar anywhere around for SQ and I to go to. I seriously wish that someone would open one here in Hoots. I love a good sports bar, I’m in no mood for a juke joint and I have to go back to work tomorrow with a peppy disposition. I’m in no mood to be peppy, quite frankly, but if you want the check you have to smile.

You know how it goes.

Back to twitter, which for me at least, is a random free association mindsuck that takes little to no time and keeps me connected with my buddies as well as breaks news. So, if I randomly type how beavers in the wilds of Harris Station fascinate me, will these new followers think I’m dropping acid. When I start singing Ethel Merman standards twitter-style, will the new followers think I’m on some meth-based high where I’m seeing singing dandelions. What about the Goosepond Swamp Monster? I’m the only reporter on the beat on it.

One does not know.

I do know that Pinkey is a fine dog from what I’ve seen, Jura (the big overlord dog who has no sense of humor) hates her and Kirby the blind dog cannot understand what she’s running into other than a water buffalo has moved into her space. They (the big they) do not make canes for blind dogs and so she goes on instinct.

Mabel is not rude but dismissive. Such is the way for many politicians and Mabel is no exception. She grouchy about Bill Richardson today and has lost her sense of humor behind the sofa.

Duff, however, has started a love affair of sorts. The “love that dare not speak its name” sort of thing.

What happens when you have four dogs, one who has run for president, and another dog shows up and adopts the family?

A very sweet, well-behaved dog showed up New Year’s Day and , Jeez Louise, this dog is about the most well-mannered dog I’ve ever met. I warned the nieces at the commune that the dog was too nice to just be a stray. Plays well with the cult of the kids in the neighborhood and just sits outside looking at the world, waiting for the next kid to pat it on her head. There are, I believe, 9,000 kids in this neighborhood who all call me Aunt Tick. Yesterday, when I was sporting a lovely sinus headache, about five of these kids were showing off their duck calls as loud as they could. I wished for death stoically and silently.

There just kids, you know.

We called the local vets and the pound to see if anyone had lost a dog. No one had called but I’m still not 100 percent sure that this dog wasn’t someone’s beloved pet. Of course, I tried to ignore the dog. The large overlord dog here named Jura already hates this dog. Jura is 80 pounds of cranky, and Mabel just stares at her. Mabel usually gets along with everyone but she needs them to understand that she is a minor-league Internet star. This dog could join her entourage, of course, but cannot be the star of the canine contingency of the commune.

This is a given.

The dog is not an overtly large dog and I expect there is a little bit of pit bull/bull terrier in her as well and looks like a smaller, chocolaty version of Mrs. Wigglebottom, with dark brown fur. Little bits of white on the bottom of her toes which is cleverly spotted makes her look like she has partially put on a pair of dirty socks. She also has a bit of Mabel’s white spots on her and both dogs look like someone through white paint on them.

The neighbor kids are enthralled. She has gone through several names. The first one was by Homer, which was Jesus (Hey-Zeus.) The second name was Zoey, which made Homer’s husband, Squeegee Monkey and I groan. One of the boys from across the street named her Pinky. When I asked him if this was from Pinky and the Brain, he stared at me if I was a mutant. Has it really been that long since that cartoon was on? Squeegee and I want to call her Jeff. Squirrel Queen is inclined to Hildegaard.

I’ve been calling her Pinks but may change it to Pink-o just to be silly.

I like this dog but have kept my distance. I still believe it’s someone’s pet.

But, dang, it’s just about the perfect dog. Other than Mabel, of course.

Mabel is a gifted dog at doing very little.

But occasionally she becomes Feral Mabel.

Feral

Some people post kid pictures. I post dog pictures.

It’s the way of ‘Coma.