Newscoma

Eating the last of Vidalia onions for the year and they have made me a tasty mess.

This means my breath will never let another human being want to kiss me.

And, well, the dogs adore my skank breath.

Yet I feel free.

Mabel is bitching. But she recycles her own stuff so she can’t be a ding dong.

Holy Hell

There is so much one can do when they have the breath of a demonic goat.

And that is to buy Altoids.

It’s enough.

Children of the Corn was a goofy-assed horror movie that I was quite charmed by.

I offer you Mabel of the Corn:

And Duff of the Corn

I think I want to be in horror movie before I die. If not, I’ll just make my own.

Dog Zombies Of The Corn.

I guess the next pet I get needs to be named Malachai.

It’s getting hot, campers, as evidence of Mabel’s tongue.

I give what I can. Mabel says Hi, Cap’n.

She’s not really a very good farm dog.

She’s probably eating a bug or something equally as nasty.

It’s the Tao of Mabel.

If you aren’t getting Left Wing Cracker’s daily e-mails, well, you should be. He’s amazing, tireless and just the best.

He sent me a link to where Steve Cohen is blogging. I love it when politicians’ blog.

My vision for that generation is one of fully recognized freedoms for all individuals living in a nation where government helps those less fortunate to be a part of our great society. My vision is of one People, one Nation, one America. “E Pluribus Unum” is not merely some trademark stamped on the Great Seal as part of some American branding scheme. It is a vision of our world. It is a call to unity. It is, in and of itself, a sacred purpose.

As a society we do not gain the right to call ourselves unified or just if we are not. Just being American does prove us great and good. It is those things that Americans have done that has made America so, and America will continue to be great, to be good by continuing to expand civil liberties for all, by embracing all walks of life into one society, into one America.

There’s more here.

On another note, I’m watching Sen. Joe Lieberman defend John McCain this morning. Mabel may have to get back in the race if Lieberman keeps it up. Just so she can bite him. I’m a pacifist. She’s not.

This is the one that gets me killed but it makes me laugh.

I think it’s adorable. And, yes, Mabel has slept with someone like this for eight years.

As Mabel’s campaign for president has basically gone ignored by those who aren’t dazzled by her brilliance and for the sheer fact that she is currently asleep next to Duff after an eye-licking fest that went on for about 20 minutes, which could possible make her the first lesbian canine presidential candidate for president evah, I thought I would tell you a few things about myself as her campaign manager.

Blogging is supposed to be about ourselves, isn’t it?

Anyhoo, here is a list of things that I like

• Crawfish. I do love me some crawfish and I want some right now.
• I like Cheezy Poof the cat who belongs to Badger. Generally, I get along with all cats although I don’t understand them. They are not like dogs who give you unconditional love all the time except for my other dog who is also on the couch, Kirby The Blind. Kirby, even at a young age, was ambivalent and talks. I will try to get this on video. Actually, it’s more of a form of bitching and she is very verbal. She also is much like a cat because if she wants love, she demands it and then is through with you.  She actually was a curmudgeon at the ripe old age of one day. Cats, on the other hand, appear to do what they want when they want to and the hell with what anyone thinks. I think I want to become more cat like as a person. I’m going to work on that.
• I also am quite fond of lobster.
• Crawfish and Lobster bisque is probably my favorite food followed by Steak Oscar, which means I’m a fool for shellfish.
• I am also a fan of Tulips although many flowers make me sneeze.
• I like Homer. Homer is a fine sister and puts up with my BS quite well.
• Mike Gravel makes me laugh in a good way.
• I like Doctor Who. I always have even though the Daliks are really the weirdest arch enemy in history

It goes without saying that Mabel will eat anything which means she would be a fine guest at any rubber chicken function during her campaign.

I have seen her eat:

• A tomato
• A belt (which was a belt I liked quite a bit, mind you.)
• Several books
• Her own waste, which means she recycles and is a friend of Earth Day
• Several electrical cords which worried the hell out of me when she was a mere pup
• Cave Crickets (although Duff is more of a hunter than Mabel and could live on the vermin she can catch.)
• The side of a table. Thank God she is a short dog as the damage was minimal.
• Two pounds of Chocolate Creme Drops which were a Christmas present wrapped under the tree about six years ago and although she created the biggest mess in history which is a gag inducing memory of the highest order, she did not succumb to death which is good.
• Cole Slaw
• Salad
• Asparagus

So, I realize this is a post pretty much about nothing although I do encourage you to read Mabel’s platform for president.

Well, once she writes it and all.

The last time I was this tired, I slept until noon. No one is that concerned about it, even my best buddies, but it’s true.

I wish I could tell you something witty, tell you my typos were because I was looking moon-eyed into the sky and had a penguin ominously shaped like Mabel sleeping in the crook of my knee making me act so erratically.

Alas, I’m just dog-assed tired. I know, boring.

So, with that said, go here. It’s a platypus. You know, it proves a bunch of spiritual stuff. Or not.

And, yeah, my pop culture posts always get more views than my political ones.

Apparently we love pop culture.

What’s with that?

Okay, I get it.

Britney rawks.