Newscoma

If I’m going to be in Memphis more, I need to know where to go and eat.

I think I found something to guide my way through the dark tunnels of learning a new place and it’s called LunchBrag.

I struggle sometimes to see the relevance of certain things and then small, significant things happen that put those very things into perspective for me.

I’m in Memphis right now. A stranger gave me a lesson on her views of the infrastructure here and why her city’s politics were fascinating. She did this while she was playing a Megatouch game that was somewhat like a Scrabble game.

“You new here?” she asked while staring at the screen, hitting letters to create words faster than the Blue Angels. My back was to her, so I was surprised that she had spoken to me. She was older, I’d say in her mid-50s, and was wearing a Beale Street T-shirt from 2003.

I nodded. She said she was a schoolteacher and noticed I was taking everything in. She called over the owner of the small bar I stopped into last night and introduced me to her. You could tell that she was somewhat of a regular, as their was an easiness between patron and owner. I told them who I was and we started talking. The conversation inevitably turned to politics when I told them about my part-time job. She told me her name was Sheila. The owner saw a friend of hers and left us to greet one of what I can only assume was a regular customer.

“Memphis politics is an odd funny game,” Sheila said, putting another quarter into the machine, her hands moving automatically into the creation of more words quickly. She eyed the machine and then gave me fleeting glances as to let me know that she was involved in the conversation and the game. “You just learning some of this stuff?”

I told her that I had watched Memphis politics for years, but always from outside the looking glass. She nodded as if she understood.

“I’ve been in the school system here for nearly 30 years. Herenton wasn’t a bad superintendent you know back in the beginning. He fought for us for some things we needed. Then he became mayor and we saw less of the man we knew. You familiar with him?”

I said that I was and that I’d seen him speak a few times.  I told her I didn’t understand why he’d run for mayor again only to say he was going to resign not even three months after the last mayoral election.

“I guess I just don’t get it,” I countered. “That just seemed like a colossal waste of time.”

She laughed, “No one does when it comes to him. You aren’t alone.”

Her game was over and she turned toward me. “Memphis is one of those places that politics doesn’t always make sense. We are the largest city in the state, but it’s like there are two or three cities here. The infighting in this town in incredible. I’ve been in the system myself for a long time and I can tell you that the thing that not only Memphis needs, but this entire state, is for people to be clear so we know what we are getting when we vote. I guess that is everywhere but it makes me lose faith. I want to know what’s going on. I don’t want politicians dumbing it down for me.”

She sighed. I was surprised she was being so frank with me, a total stranger, about her politics. Politics, such as topics such as religion, usually isn’t thrown out there within 15 minutes of meeting somebody.

“The thing is that we watch the fights, and then we find out about the bills these guys pass after the fact. But maybe it’s our fault too. I gave up on being a voice a long time ago when I thought I wasn’t making a difference. Do you think you make a difference?” Sheila looked at me intently.

(more…)

As you can see, I changed the template.  The comments to the side aren’t rendering properly which has made me stabby. So, I guess I’m stating the obvious.

So, let’s chat because we can.

I’m in Memphis staying at Vibinc’s and as I sit here, Mabel is asleep on the futon. Mabel is a lousy houseguest as she has moved her bowl all over the great room and there is dog food everywhere which she eats one piece at a time. She has also licked his couch which is not dirty (get your minds out of the gutter) but is exactly what she’s done. I’ve taken her out twice today and it’s still icy on the grassy knoll of Ross’ front yard, which makes for slipsliding hilarity.

The is better than the Winter Olympics, campers.

This morning, a bird the size of Godzilla got into the house and pooped as I was chasing it around. I don’t know why this tickles me to no end, but it does. Mabel, after her curling incident which caused her undo embarrassment, paid no mind to the pterodactyl sized creature panicking as I was trying to send it on its way.

Lesson I learned, birds are pecky.

Last night, I was introduced to The Cove by TheoGeo, Dabney and Glen, Left Wing Cracker, Maynard and Ross, who was there for a few minutes before he had to go be The Student.

We talked of many things including the state of politics, the announcement of financial disclosures, newspapers, news as a whole and there was some guy at the bar who told me he was backing my boss, so there was also that.

It’s nice being able to go through this transition of being enmeshed in two towns (Hoots and Memphis) at this point of my life when people keep me company. I’ll admit it, I was worried about that to a degree.

I’m working on a couple of projects here in Elvisville before I head back to Hoots later this week. Today, I will give myself a present of crawfish bisque at the Blue Monkey, read more on politics in this fine city (learning Memphis politics is something, let me tell you) and see what this city has to offer.

I’m in a learning curve. And I’ve been pecked at by a bird which was a surprise.

Dumb pterodactyl.

Image Credit

Aunt B. and Lindsey are absolutely right.

When I saw this yesterday on Twitter, I have to say I was appalled.

So Mabel and I are staying at Ross’ place for a couple of days. I’ve been exploring Memphis recently. I really do love finding things that were in plain sight that I’ve never noticed before. There is a bit of naughty in Memphis, which I’m rather enjoying. What I mean, I guess, is that I’m finding out different social mores about this state that I didn’t know.

Southerners are a polite lot of people until you piss them off. We say things like “Bless your heart” when we really mean something else like “Dumb decision, Bubba” or “I love her/him but …” There is a level of etiquette that you see in Nashville or even in Hoots Proper where you have to say something nice right before you say something negative. I shouldn’t be giving the secrets of being a southerner away but … you know what I’m talking about.

What I’m finding in Memphis, because I’m doing the same thing here I do at home and that’s just talk to people that I don’t know, yes, there is a level of polite but I’m finding that Memphians also will take their bullshitometer out and hit you in the head with it if they think it is necessary. I think Nashville, in some ways, uses their polite “voices” more than Memphians do. And Hoots, well that’s a whole other can of  Spam but Memphis folks tend to just call it when they see it.

And they do it with a grin.

I find that to be refreshing.

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

As many of you know, the southwest corner of Tennessee has been our home this week. Squirrelly and I would like to thank the Memphis crowd for being our family during this time. Thanks for the friendship, the fellowship and the encouragement.

We are headed back to Hoots this  morning. Bags are currently being packed, dishes washed and although the reasons for our long stay were tragic with the loss of Lauren, we found so much good in people and new depths of friendship, companionship and love.

Last night, before we headed home, Steve, Smac, Austin,Dabney, Glen, Lee, Meg, Rick and Katie decided that we wanted a do over. The funeral was in the morning which was absolutely beautiful at Saint Anne’s with a eulogy by Kindly Uncle Tim that was so devastatingly exquisite that it was intimately painful and joyous at the same time, friends held gatherings and celebrated life amongst sorrow and by the end of the night, we decided to do New Year’s Eve over again. It was called New Year’s Eve Redux.

So, in our world, today is New Year’s Day.

Listening to The West Coast Turnaround, we rang in midnight again for 2010 2.0. Pesky Fly did a countdown from 8 (he felt a new number might be appropriate) and we threw our glasses in the air hoping for peace once again. It was a moment of healing and rejuvenation. And I really want to hear the David Allan Coe how to become a star in Country Music song again, Pesky. That song made me very happy.

As we headed back to our temporary digs, Squirrelly and I talked of the special bond that all of these people hold together and with us. As this has been so much of our world this week, I will probably talk of these things again.

Until then, we bid Memphis adieu. Thank you and farewell, you big lug of a city. We dig you so much.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

~Funeral Blues W.H. Auden

Today, my friends, is the funeral for Lauren. It should be a day of tears, of laughter and remembering the woman who brought so many people together. I try not to ask very much here on this blog, but if you can, light a candle or say a quick prayer asking for her safe passage even if you didn’t know her.

Today, my friends, we celebrate Lauren Hesse.

Tomorrow, my friends, the world will have to be looked at with a critical eye as we rebuild what has been lost.

Things that happen during a crisis, and I believe that we have seen the mother-load in Big Memphis this week, can sometimes have a bit of whimsy. I know that’s not something that most folks talk about but it is there. Meeting new people under duress. Giggling because it fights off tears when you know the worst is in front of you. So tired, but knowing you aren’t nearly as tired as our beloved Steve.

Friendship has many joys even in times of trouble.

Giddiness sets in as does a bone-tired that amazingly you realize that both are so very equal in moments when the issue is loss. You never know this until you feel it in your core. These things are forgotten until they resurface. And you forget it, almost like how I imagine women minimize what labor feels like before they have a second child. It’s a wicked beast, these emotions that lay dormant until a tragedy.

Despite tears, there was laughter.

• Vibinc and I in the waiting room. Him talking about how my new tagline could be “HEY, I JUST TOOK A PICTURE OF A CHEETO!” when we discussed how others thought of bloggers.
• Or, Freedonian and I playing on making me a new template because we had to be doing something, anything, because we knew we were going to see some very sad faces coming out of Lauren’s room on Monday. We occupied our time until we knew we would be needed again.
• Steve laughing at a comment that GoldnI made on Twitter.
• Meeting KUT (Kindly Uncle Tim) who has to be the grooviest guy on the planet whose quiet strength lifted those who were grieving around him, although he was suffering the loss too.
• Dabney and Stacey Mac’s battle with Steve’s iPhone.
• Glen showing me the Doctor Who keychain as we went through pictures of Lauren for the services on Saturday.
• Meeting Ellyn where we became quite smitten quickly. She even was cool with me wearing Vibinc’s socks, because, dammit my feet were cold. Thanks Ross!
• Seeing Lauren’s stepfather get a birthday card out of his bag for her on  Tuesday. Steve and Lauren’s birthday was on Tuesday with seven years separating their births. This, my friends, is when I went downstairs and took a few moments for myself. It was an exquisite and devastating moment and was done without much fanfare but it’s power was great. Small, intimate and expressed the reality of the situation with such depth and reality.
• Love is amazing. All kinds of love and affection. We forget that.

I fall in love with Memphis every time I come here. Each visit makes me love this place, not just because that it’s Memphis, but because of the people I meet.

Once again, Lauren gives a gift.

Lauren Hesse was one of those women that was direct, passionate and kind. I liked that she was her own person, that she didn’t need for anyone to tell her who she was. She was a role model for the sheer fact that was just herself. There are lessons there, my friends. She was confident in herself, or at least that is how I saw her. We were in the very beginnings of a fine friendship. I’ve only known her a short time, so me writing this seems disingenuous to a degree. I’ve met so many people that she has touched and they have so much more to say that I can say here.
I’m jealous of them.
There is always too little time.
She was the love of Steve Steffens life. I love him too. Thus this brought us together. Our admiration of a fine man who brought us into the same world over the past few years where we found ourselves sitting over kitchen tables talking of everything and nothing.
She was the kind of woman that made you feel at home. And her home was your home.
You see, Lauren was Lauren. She was passionate about her family and friends. Her furry children that were always about her feet, nuzzling and loving her. The amazing smells that came from her kitchen. The music that played that she loved. The lists she made that were to be followed (which reminds me of Homer in the best of ways.) The ancient, yet comfortable couch that belonged to her grandfather on which I laid and when she fussed, wondering if I was warm enough.
And she loved a man that the blogosphere calls Left Wing Cracker, but those of us who know and adore him call him Steve. We will talk of Steve more later, but this moment, we will talk of the lovely Lauren.
I’m going to be random right now by telling you the things I saw her do in our brief time together. My first thought was the cats and her talking to me that I would make a fine cat owner although I was hesitant. She was their mom and she would caress them with great affection in a way that, even if you didn’t know her, was like second nature. I remember standing in her kitchen this fall as she was conversing with Stephanie and I and her hand languidly ran through the smaller kittens fur.
That sticks with me today. I saw that as lovely and kind for some reason.
She would banter good-naturedly with her love of 20 years. So much affection that was so natural and organic. Love should be that way.
Her eyes lit up talking of Celtic music. It was a joyful thing to see of her speak of the music and the people behind it. We talked in November of setting her up a blog for it. She had one, but we talked of Wordpress and blogging and communicating.
And let me tell you of her prowess for throwing the best parties in Memphis. When Ann turned 50, she dyed dozens of hats red and gave her a party worth remembering. I looked at the photos yesterday and as her pal laughed and cried at the same time, I realized that Lauren had given Ann a special memory.

These things, campers, are more priceless than gold.
Love is a funny thing. And we love. Thus, when it’s gone, we remember red hats and weenie roasts and throwing marshmellows … those were the parties that Lauren gave. It was, and I will say the word passion again, her passion to bring her people together. And she was damned good at it.
She loved Steve. He would talk politics or music or his love of sports (and especially his love of Memphis) and she would look at him patiently with so much … love. Have I mentioned love this post?
Love.
The heart … which was so full of life would not be strong enough to make it through this year. Her heart … so full of so much love.

And these are the words that I hate to write.

On Saturday, doing what anyone does on any average day, Lauren’s heart decided it was too full. The ambulance took her to Saint Francis after the coronary where her beloved and her family would stand vigil waiting for her to come back. Doctors and nurses worked diligently as the ICU unit filled with dozens of people that loved her. That needed her. Her mother was amazing as she and Steve would go back when it was time to see her.
And all of us, those who knew her for years and those, like me, who wish they had, waited for good news. We hoped. Dammit, we hoped that there would be good news.
The news would not come. Nor will it ever.
Steve loved her. I have not seen such devotion and pure grief in a long time. Not since my mother died and my father said these words to me, “What do I do now?” I didn’t know what to say then, and I do not now.
I have thought of this since Steph and I got to the hospital on Sunday. I mentioned this to Ross and a couple of other people because it is on my mind. As we blog, we know so little about the authors behind those blogs. Then you get to know them and you find such hidden treasures. With that treasure, there are other gifts.
Steve was our hidden treasure.
Lauren was our gift.

Arrangements have not been made and organ transplant doctors will work with her this morning before she leaves us, but she is already gone. She will help others one more time.

Memphis, you have lost a bright star in your sky.
Steve, I give you love and I’ll see you today as soon as I can get back.
You are not alone.

Over the weekend, during my weekend in Memphis, I met Adrienne Pakis-Gillon who is the democratic candidate running against Brian Kelsey in District 31.  It was a casual introduction where we talked briefly about the state of politics in the state and I found her to be very passionate and vibrant.

After our conversation, and I realize that I can only speak for myself, I found myself pondering why we democrats here in the state haven’t been pushing her candidacy more.  I take responsibility for my own actions here as I haven’t written about her either. She is a life-long democrat and having talked to her, the things that she spoke of gave me pause because she isn’t getting mired down in wedge issues (something Kelsey thrives on) and instead discussed practical solutions to issues affecting her district and the state as a whole.

Remember, not only will she be representing her district, she’ll be voting on legislation that would impact the entire state. And let’s review briefly how Kelsey has been, which has had shades of moving up the political ladder as his main objective.

Let’s take the time machine back, campers, to January when Kelsey was what Kleinheider called the “stuntbaby” and where Jeff Woods reported this as well:

First, Rep. Mike Turner accused Kelsey of making a nervous wreck out of Rep. Susan Lynn by filing an ethics complaint against House Speaker Kent Williams based on his supposed sexual harassment of her.

“Susan Lynn is in the hospital [Wednesday], and in my opinion, I think Brian Kelsey put her in there and I think his behavior is terrible,” Turner told Channel 2. “I think it’s sour grapes.”

Now, Turner and House Democratic leader Gary Odom say Kelsey offered to lay off Williams in exchange for a committee  chairmanship.

In those posts, there is a statement from Kelsey on what he was thinking back in the first days of the last legislative session here in Tennessee.  You can see a time-line here of what happened.

Now, we could talk about Kelsey all day long, but I return back to the issue at hand. As democrats, we need every seat we can get right now. We are looking at redistricting, our state has 10.5 percent unemployment and we need folks in Nashville who can see the big picture and not get mired in wedge issues for personal gain. Kelsey did that this year and I think he will do it again.

We just don’t need to shrug and say “whatever.” The democratic party in this state has done that for far too long. We may not agree on everything, but the one thing is we need to be is united when it comes to not disenfranchising good candidates who would be representing all of our interests in Nashville, no matter where we live. Pakis-Gillon needs voices and bloggers can help with that.

We can support her campaign by talking about her. Kelsey doesn’t need to be just handed a senate seat without a fight. As democrats, I think we need to talking about this race and we need to be lending our voice to Pakis-Gillon.

Although many of us can’t vote in this race, we can still put a flashlight on Memphis right now. We don’t need to be complacent at this point.

You can read more about Adrienne Pakis-Gillon and you can also join her Facebook. Just check into what she’s about and maybe write about it.

I have spent the better part of the morning here reading about Ingmar Bergman. When I was a kid, you were more likely here in Hoots to see a variety of exploitation films, Burt Reynolds was huge or the occasional bad  horror movie at one of the local drive-ins. (Yes, I hate that those have gone the route of the dinosaurs.)

The first time I really saw in horror movies was when we finally got cable about the time I turned 10 or 11. Before that, we had rabbit ears that brought in a station from Paducah, one from Jackson, the local PBS station and, if luck was on my side, Ch. 13 out of Memphis, which had a creature feature show that I lived for. It was canceled when I was a little tyke, but my mom would let me stay up and watch it.

Our first pay-for-cable channel was The Movie Channel, where I was mesmerized watching Altman films, Harold and Maude the first time (yes, that movie still make me cry like a baby and laugh at the same time) and The Tin Drum, which to this day still creeps me out in so many ways. I bet I’ve seen it several times though even though it gives me the wiggums.

Bergman was not someone I was privy to, and as it happened in the days before the Internet, I would read magazines that my parents were kind enough to give me, and plot ways to see the movies listed in Rolling Stone or the New Yorker.

I finally got to see Fanny and Alexander, The Seventh Seal and a few others. This morning, as I was dorking around the tubes, I started to read the reviews of every film he ever directed, his unorthodox views of theocracy and how it impacted his writing and how he would go through depressive bouts in relationship to his craft.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like all of Bergman’s stuff, but I do appreciate his vision. I guess this goes back to the young girl who read of Sweden’s premiere director and had to be cunning to see what all the fuss was about because at that time, you couldn’t see his films here. You just couldn’t.

So, you see, the Internet can help rural Americans in a way that was not an option when I was a curious child that loved the backroads here but needed a little bit more sustenance than Burt and Sally.

I think about these things sometimes.

I’m posting this video for all the folks here in Hoots who have been following the Steve Ross issue out of Memphis. You see, there are a lot of folks who know Ross because he comes and hangs out here some and I’ve been asked about it by some of the locals.

I also want to point you to Betsy Phillips, who has also been to Hoots, who knocks the whole Joe Brown/Blogger issue out of the ballpark at Pith in the Wind.

You see, this state is smaller than you know, campers.
There is also more from Bob at 55-40. And from Lang Wiseman.