Where There Is No Time For Leg Shaving
Monday, March 23rd, 2009
These are the days, my friends.
Have you ever had one of those days where you want to just climb into a manhole or a gutter and stay there? You know, for eternity? Hanging out with the rats and goo, hopefully where you can find about three days sleep and hear only the music that plays in your head because your feelings are so wrapped up in cellophane and toilet paper that you just can’t think.
Yeah, it’s been a few of those days in a row.
It’s really bad when you don’t even have time to shave your legs, which you have to schedule into your week. You do stuff but, because it’s not traditional, people don’t think you are doing anything at all and that’s tough to swallow. You work hard on things, find that you are still in the kindergarten phase of some of the processes and want to give up because you don’t think you will ever learn it.
You find yourself crying over the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother and Mama’s Family because it reminds you of something within yourself so pathetic that you just can’t face it, people keep passively-aggressively yelling at you in emails (been more than one campers) and you decide within yourself that you are done with that pesky thing called humanity.
What you want to do is avoid a bit of noise for a little while, have people actually have a conversation with you and lie in a bed reading bad novels with happy endings.
You then wonder if it’s all worth it.
So, you look at a bit of a sabbatical from life for a few days, think about joining the Peace Corps, because you were always happiest traveling with a backpack and wonder why you have been actively looking for a job for two years and that most of what you have been offered isn’t what you need.
The only real thing you can do is pray, which you’ve never been exceptionally good at, take a few days of staycation because a vacation is completely out of the question since the Stock Market crash, let friends know it’s your time of the year to have your twice every 12-months breakdown and get your resume together for the first time in 14 years which you have forgotten how to do because it used to be easy.
In this economy, it’s not.
Let me break it down for you: reporters can not sit at a desk and news come to them. That’s all I will say about that.
Secondly: Don’t talk at people, talk to them and listen to what they have to say. I don’t ask for an ear that much, I don’t tell the down and dirty about my life to anyone quite frankly, but occasionally I need an ear too.
Third: I watched Bones on Hulu for comfort this weekend. FOR COMFORT, mind you, because I didn’t feel like I could get it anywhere else, which is my problem I realize. You have to be kidding me. I have turned into something I don’t understand.
Fourth: I’m allowed the occasional mid-life crisis moment. Shut up.
So, the first item of business is that I have scheduled an appointment with my Sasquatch legs, I am going to take a few days off to think things through because it’s been apparently honest that most folks, even beloved ones, don’t get me all the time, which is okay, it’s my thing to figure out. I’m only going to have conversations that are just plum wonderful and if it doesn’t suit me, I’m walking away. I had a great conversation todaywith a friend of mine because I needed it and she is a support system to me as I hope I am to her.
And, guys, I need a party or something.
I leave this in your hands. Today was the breakdown and the crash, now we move into the healing.
