Newscoma

The baggage, born from my Southern upbringing, follows me with every step and breath I take. It is filled with magic and dark elements, of a life lived and yet to live.

Of dirty nasty things as well as small boxes of live and a life lived, this trunk that goes with me everywhere I go.

I am constantly confounded how it is chained to me, to who I am. I stare at it warily, wondering if there is a way to leave it in the closet when I leave for the day to another eight hours of work, where I try, and often fail, to make a difference.

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We always hear about how there is the battle between old ways of covering news and new digital media. Of course, these days sometimes I feel my job is more about being a battering goat for complaints as yesterday that seemed to be the ONLY thing in my job description.  I was also taking care of an awning problem in front of our building that was victim to the winds and age this spring.

That’s not news. That’s housekeeping.

I miss balls to the wall writing news and it’s hard to do that sitting behind a desk at times. I used to love getting out and organically finding news stories. I used to have four deadlines in one day when I was in radio news. I like the feel of busting a news story from the trickle and whisper of it’s conception to when it breaks knowing that I was getting that piece of news to the people.

And, I’m dealing with awning, complaints and personnel issues these days.

I bring this up that sometimes when you get to that point in your career when you realize you are in transition.

I am, however, excited about new concepts in delivering news. I mentioned last week I’ve been following a murder trial on twitter.

I also noticed yesterday that Katie Allison Granju covered minute-by-minute the shooting of a police officer at WBIR on it’s news site.

I realize news is changing.

Fortunately, tomorrow I am covering a hearing of a deputy who killed his estranged wife’s lover. He was convicted a couple of years ago but the case is headed back to court. As I love covering court better than just about anything, it will be a welcome change. If only they had WiFi in the courthouse here then I could report it live.

I need to work on making things like that happen.

Anyone who knows me is aware that I’m about to make some major changes in my life that I feel pretty good about. No, there isn’t anything definite or one thing that is going to alter anyone’s world except perhaps mine, but I’m anxious and a bit excited.

You see, I’m ready.

For about a year now I’ve been trying to figure out what I wanted for myself. I don’t think it’s a mid-life crisis or anything like that other than sometimes it’s time to take a journey. So you load the bags on the mule and you head out although you sort of need to know which direction you are headed. Over the past year, I’ve had a great deal of life’s lessons. In the past, I would have been completely impulsive.

Not so much this time. Is it a sign of age? Wisdom? Not so sure about that. But I do know one thing and it’s absolutely invigorating to think that I am the master of my own domain (bwaahaa. Not the Seinfeld reference.)

Why am I writing these thoughts this morning? Because I can now. I’ve talked to the people that I needed to talk to and although this will be difficult, it’s going to be okay.

Now, do you realize the last time I felt like everything was going to be okay? Well, it’s been awhile I assure you.

I’m do know that the things I’m planning are going to take a lot of hard work and trying to sell myself. I also know that in some respects I’m going to have to start over. My mother once told me that I was was her “free-spirited child who tended to tie my own self to a rock.” I’ve thought about that over the years and I think she’s absolutely right. I’m the first one to tell myself I can’t.

All of the sudden, I’m feeling like I can.

I know this sounds rather ominous and I’m probably just boring the hell out of you but I’ll go into details when I can.

And I could use some good vibes. There always good.