Newscoma

Well, as usual, my bi-monthly dose of bronchitis is rearing its ugly head. Again.
Ode to joy. (snark.)
Here are a few things I’ve witnessed in the last few days albeit it isn’t as interesting as, oh let’s say, this.
In Hoots, life goes on.

Sheriff deputies are investigating the killing of a goat (I can’t make this stuff up. Goat murder!), a man was arrested over the weekend for showing his naughty bits to the cops while screaming that he knew where they lived and when he got out of jail he was going to kill them (welcome to a long visit in the pokey) and I found out from a lottery dude that sales were through the roof. The grand jury convened, there is a bridal show going on and apparently we have our own mini-hell of an illegal dump that ace reporter Editor Bates is all over.
And there is a lot of earthquake talk going on which I find disconcerting. Do folks know something that the average bear doesn’t or are we just preparing for the apocalypse because not a lot is going on.
I also got to inform an elected democrat that Bill Hobbs is no longer blogging. He smiled. I then said “Now you don’t know what he’s up to.”
He quit smiling.
I’m a realist about these things, you know.
I also heard someone confuse Sanjaya with Sanjay Gupta. (I’m banging my head into a wall as I type this over that little disclosure), I decided the only reasonable thing I could to was throw myself in front of a train or drink a bottle of swill. Squirrelly think he’s a weird choice for Surgeon General (and we bantered about this for hours for some odd and unknown reason), Kate wonders, in the comments, what a surgeon general actually does and I am ambivalent. I guess it’s better than Surgeon General Lou Dobbs.
Now on to your early morning moment of zen:

From Eat Liver

1. Why do people martyr themselves to come to work sick when it only makes other people sick? Argh!
2. As I’m not a fan of House Calls on CNN, the idea that Sanjay Gupta being Surgeon General oddly feels okay to me as long as they don’t replace the show with Lou Dobbs, who gives me an abnormal shake of rage and fear when he is on the air. I also wonder if this is a CNN ploy for attention although I hope not. I kinda like Sanjay.
3. Why can I write anything for anybody other than things that really matter like neurosurgery yet I cannot write my own resume? Why is this?
4. I helped Squirrel Queen not annihilate someone this evening who definitely needed annihilating. I was, oddly, the voice of reason against someone who was spouting off idiocy when it wasn’t deserved. My excuse: they weren’t worth it. SQ finally saw my point. Go here and look at bananas exploding on some dude’s head at her blog.
5. I’m still sort of smitten with Pinkey, however, I’ve kept my distance. When I move, and it will happen, I think I will miss her. She has become beloved by the nieces.
6. Huh?
7. This is brilliant.
8. Best and most disturbing Christmas present ever!
9. Very cool theory on The Joker. I vote for Lou Dobbs to be the Joker but that, of course, is reality and not a movie. (Sorry Lou, you are on my mind today.)
10. My blind dog has taken to barking at the toilet, even when she is alone in the bathroom. I believed after I saw Jaws as a child that sharks might be able to bite me in the bathroom in landlocked Tennessee. This, of course, is a sad fact that I’m reporting to you from my ill-begotten days of my youth. It also could be a sign that I’m not that smart. I felt like this is something you probably needed to know.

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