Newscoma

I have spent the last two weeks running.

Vibinc kept the fires going over at Speak to Power and Squirrel Queen was patient because last week, and for three days this week, I didn’t even have time to think. That could be good or it could be bad, one never knows until they get the hindsight glasses on.

I find myself talking about politics a great deal, as that’s what I sorta do now, but I am having to physically and verbally set some boundaries about it because my brain gets a bit overfull.

So last night, I drowned myself in bad television, ate a bowl of tomato soup which is my comfort food and tried to heal a sore throat.

Tis my own fault as I sometimes forget to wear a jacket.

Cheetos Gazing

I’m feeling a bit disconnected with Hoots right now for the mere fact that I’m not here. When I’m here, it is usually doing some recovery time from driving, neuron malfunctions and spending time with my family. The time spent unemployed did have a positive impact where friendships were nurtured because I had the time to spend with friends without having to be confined to a schedule. Now my time is more limited and I’m having to get back in a routine of organization and structure, which isn’t always easy when you are living out of a suitcase. I have it easier that most and I don’t know how the bossman does it, but he does. Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling but there are times that I just need to take out my brain, put it in the refrigerator and take a cranium break. I plan on doing that on Monday. Yes, campers, I plan for my mental health breaks these days. I know, fascinating.

Today, I head back to Memphis for the evening as I’m going to a wedding shower and SQ has a tournament game she has to attend for work. Yeppers, it’s high school tournament time again which means the Squirrel Goddess doesn’t know where she’s going to be from one game to the next. As I have barely seen her since the beginning of the year, I’m going to travel with her a bit in the next week. Work is work, but you have to concentrate on your relationships too. It’s important.

And, as I’m having to schedule myself (I am as unorganized as a squirrel who’s licked the bottom of an abandoned cooler of anhydrous for meth making) I’m having to learn to be more assertive about time, which you kinda lose when you aren’t working. I have learned that I have had to regain that ability to say Yes, No and Argh.

Anyway, it’s not too bad really because I like being busy and useful.

One good thing about Hoots is that when I returned late Thursday, I got to hear ghost stories, as you know that I love, about a local bar and grill.

There aren’t complaints here in the least, just learning new things about myself, meeting fabulous new people and trying to get through the transition that is life. Speaking of meeting amazing new people, Rep. Jeanne Richardson has given me a new addiction, which is Memphis-styled collard greens.
I could eat them everyday. Thanks Jeanne!

I think I need collard greens rehab because they are incredible.

Duff and Mabel are unimpressed by frozen water.

Jabba the UnGifted – A tale of snow horror

Team work in building Jabba the UnGifted

Run Away! Run Away! (in my best Monty Python voice.)

As the Tennessee progressive blogosphere continues to look at Harold Ford Jr. with a bit of disdain and incredulous wonder, Aunt. B. over at Pith points out some of the reasons why everyone is looking at New York going “Really?”

She writes:

But this attitude of having to run on “God, guns, and gays” seems to be conventional wisdom among Tennessee Democrats as well. Never mind that it’s not working.

Ford was the king of taking wedge issues and running the hell out of them.  He was the one that brought up all those conservative talking points repeatedly while he was running for the Senate. If you go back to October of 2006 on any political blog here in the state of Tennessee, we questioned Ford on this constantly. The Memphis boys constantly held his feet to the fire. And they should have.

Now he’s become bonafide? Now he’s giving the talking points of the Democratic party’s mission statement? Where was this guy four years ago? Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if the best thing that democrats in this state could do is completely reject the wedge factor. It’s not helping with real issues like, oh I don’t know, job creation, economic development and budget shortfalls in the state.

Weapons of mass distraction thy name is Harold Ford Jr.

It’s all a minor blip, honestly, except there is a lesson here. And it is simple. Ford created these wedge issues because he didn’t understand his own state party and he set a race up on what he thought was going on, not what was going on.

I said earlier this week that I’m glad that he’s backing down on controversial issues that are just designed to create a diversion, but we could have used that guy in 2006.

I’m noticing a lot of shuffling and information going statewide regarding the race in District 8. That’s all fine and good. We have John Farmer seeking the seat again, and being that he really had no money in the last race, he didn’t do too shabby. There is another farmer apparently anointed by the NRCC, according to reports, from Frog Jump hitting the campaign trail.

Of course, we also have Dr. Ron Kirkland, Roy Herron and possibly Philip Pinion.

I’m finding the Fighting 8th is getting a lot of scrutiny, not only statewide but nationally. It’s a big deal. There is going to lot of money spent this year because you are looking at major markets that will get a lot of ad revenue. From the outskirts of Memphis to Clarksville, that’s a lot of doors to knock on and a lot of ground to cover.

Here is my hope though when it comes to this race. Just a quick message to those in the race if you will. I live here, so one of those votes is mine.

Remember what the 8th District needs right now. We are in a recession, job creation is a biggie and it’s important that a lot of grandstanding not take place, but an honest discussion on bringing industry to the area. People have gone from decent salaries in the last few years to part-time jobs they are damned glad to have because the manufacturing age for this district is over. Part-time doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to be financially able to keep your house, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Times are hard. They are. It’s a fact. And for some, options of changing this economic landscape are limited. So, accuracy is crucial, especially when so many nationally are looking for some kind of political drama here.

And they are. We know that.

I realize this is going to be a political battlefield in the coming months, but there are real people living here with real problems. Be mindful of that, have a plan and remember that there is a human being behind each vote that each of you are seeking.

That is my wish. So bring it, and the Fighting 8th, which has turned into an unknown factor at this point, is watching. Most folks could care less who gets the slot, they just need solutions.

And they needed them yesterday.

As Ferris Bueller said after he played a clarinet pretty horribly, “Never had one lesson!”

That pretty much sums up how I got into blogging. I just did it for better or worse. And it’s been pretty wonderful.

Anytime there is a date or a moment that goes under the title of ‘birfday’ it falls into a time of some sort of reflection. I don’t think I celebrated the blog’s birthday last year now that I think about it. I made reference on Twitter and went about my day.

Mabel

Some of the changes I’ve seen in blogging have somewhat boggled my mind. I watch Christian Grantham’s Morning Browser quite a bit, and he is celebrating his 10th blog anniversary today.  Several of us chatted at his site about some of the changes in blogging. I thought about this after the show ended and thought that I would give all seven of you some things I’ve observed over the past four years. CG has his observations about the last 10.

• When I started blogging, it was purely for fun. I had no expectations. The first person I linked to was Aunt B. The funny thing is that I never thought I’d meet her. Now, I would venture to say, she is one of my best buddies who I talk to offline as well. I also think it was a different time four years back. We wanted a community in this state and we went for it, despite not knowing what to expect. Some of those roots, defined by our blogging personalities, have been set in stone.
• We linked more several years ago because that let other bloggers know not only that we were reading them, but that we had their backs. We don’t do this as much now. It’s a part of the initial phases of blogging I miss and I hope to rectify that on my part immediately. Now our comments and feedback go to Twitter which isn’t so bad. It’s an immediate form of communicating our feedback, although I still feel like I win a prize when I get a comment or someone buys me a beer on the PayPal button (Blogging ain’t gonna make you any do-re-mi, campers. As a matter-of-fact, if you decide to go whole hog, it will cost you money just like any other hobby.)
• We adapt to new things and Twitter is definitely a new thing. Still shocks me that I’m moving on my third year this upcoming March over there.  I joined Twitter because I am a lemming and Rex Hammock/Jackson Miller were talking about it.  If you sit in a room with those two, I swear your IQ points go up.
• How has the interwebz changed? My dad is farming like a maniac on Facebook. I think that speaks volumes.
• Quick note: On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was in two locations that had no broadband access whatsoever. So if you wonder why I advocate for this issue, I think that also speaks volumes. One of these locations has two boys in middle school. They are going to need the Internet sooner rather than later..
• I kidded a lot last month I wasn’t a niche blogger per se. In the long run seeing the changes in blogging, I think this, sadly, may have hurt me long term. Just an observation as I guess I’m an old-school type of blogger. I like niche blogs though although this isn’t one of them. You see wonderful ideas that have skyrocketed like Home Ec 101 or anything that Kate O does, which is guaranteed wonderful.
• I wish to thank Michael Silence and Scott Adcox. They know why. I adore them both.
• I remember when I’d get 25 unique views a day back in my first few months and was pretty damned happy about it. I thought I’d hit the big time.
• I’ve always said that if Newscoma every became tedious, I would quit blogging. It’s just been this past year that I’ve seriously thought about setting down the mouse. I think that had to do with the unemployment blues. I’m glad you stuck it out with me during the “blue” period. I’m glad I stuck it out too. Let’s  hope that 2010 smiles down on Chez Coma and that this year gives us groovy and nifty full-time employment.
• If you were wondering, my favorite posts this year had to do with Mr. Jimmy who is awesome and what I learned over a beer and conversations in Hoots. I also like Dirk Diggler stories.
• If I haven’t mentioned all of you, I should. You guys are great.

So that’s on my mind this morning. I don’t know what the next year will bring, but it’s been a ride that I’ve enjoyed.

The nieces are very active in their school. It’s pretty much like any middle-school in America where you have pre and newly adorned teens fumbling their way through adolescence. My nieces are no different, but they choose to be involved, are only emo when they are glaring at me and are good kids, but if you tell them that I will cut you.

Anyway, they were in this morning’s talent show at the school. I decided to go and see them do their stuff not really knowing what to expect. The lady on the mic who was emceeing the event reminded the students that there would be psychological beheadings if they misbehaved. I believe this was directed to the 8th graders as 8th graders are willing to mock anyone different at any given amount of time.

She informed the ransackled lot of us, parents, aunts and grandparents, that last year there were 10 participants in the show. This year there were nearly 30.

Now, the talent basically had some kids lip-synching, which didn’t bother me too much because I was just pleased to see kids getting out there in front of a crowd. Even Finn’s mom led a rousing edition of “Lean on Me” in honor of a teacher which had the kids on their feet. Finn would be proud of her mother. She is one, very, very, very nice lady and the kids love her.

One niece, with her merry band of 5th-grade friends, did the Cha-Cha slide.  Other kids did dance routines. One boy did a hysterical, yet oddly perfect, Napoleon Dynamite dance and was even wearing a Vote For Pedro shirt on for extra authenticity. Man, I loved that kid. I also liked the acting troupe of four girls who made fun of Twilight. Oh, and the kid that played Smoke on the Water.

That was just about damned perfect. As a child of the 70s, I grinned a big cheesypoof smile that hurt my ears. Made me happy, my friends.

Several girls sang Taylor Swift songs. Or, I should say, they sang that song where Swift is in the video where she is in the band and loves the boy across the street who is dating a cheerleader. Apparently, tweenagers love that song. My niece sang a song named Fearless also by Swift that I’d never heard before but is apparently pretty popular if one is 13, which she did a fine job of. You have to understand, in my family, we are honest although not brutal, when it comes to performances. But, Asa Corn, knocked it out of the ballpark.

I’ll be damned if she didn’t just sing the song, she performed it. And, yes, I cried. SHUT UP! I wish my mom could have been there to see her as my mom was a real, bonafide singer.  Anyway, my niece won first place and I teared up again. A lady saw me do it and  Hootsvillian concern was displayed quickly much to my chagrin.

“Honey, are you okay,” she said patting my back with very kind eyes. I wanted to tell her to quit patting my back, but she was being nice. And then she threw me the curve ball. “You miss your mom, don’t you?”

Everyone in Hoots knows everyone else. You can’t run from these things. I just nodded and tried in a very ladylike manner not to start blowing snot all over the place in an all-encompassing sob storm and gulping random bursts of air of hysteria.

I think the high turnout today of nearly two hours of kids singing, dancing and whatever that one act was is due to Glee. The kids who usually don’t necessarily stand out in a crowd decided to take the bull by the horns and have their day. And I loved every minute of it.

The creativity was wonderful. And the kids were smiling and laughing. Sort of gave me the Christmas spirit a little bit.

The niece won $15 dollars as her first place prize, wouldn’t let me take her picture and laughed because I put four visitor stickers on the back of her mom, Homer, during the performances, which cracked the 5th grade class behind me up. I even took pictures as I added new visitor stickers and a teacher’s assistant helped me find more stickers.

Middle school. You never grow out of it.

Tennessee politics can be a very interesting thing. This year we have seen the Jason Mumpower/Kent Williams hootenanny, a crowded race for governor on both sides of the spectrum (I’m not talking about that one) and this week’s hokey pokey with the announcement of John Tanner citing he wasn’t going to run for another term, thus ending two decades in Washington.

Freddy Freddie O’Connell wrote today about Roy Herron throwing his hat into the congressional race and I do think it’s because he always wanted to run for the 8th. It’s been pretty much common knowledge around “these parts” for a long time as I wrote about earlier this week. I sat at a middle school basketball game last night and even folks who could care less about politics where talking about this. (Always remember, you will meet real voters at things like this. Nine times out of 10, if you are at a community event, a coffee shop or even a bar, you are going to hear what people are really thinking and they honestly only care about the election when it gets into the meat of it.)  The overall theme was that Roy has wanted to run for that seat for a long time. No one was really surprised that he went for it within hours of John Tanner’s retirement presser.

Now onto the primary as I’ve been thinking about it and talking to other political junkies here in Hoots where we’ve discussed this. You know, this race is going to have four primary television markets and I do believe that the national GOP is watching this carefully. You are going to have Nashville, Memphis, Jackson and add into the mix a bit of WPSD in Paducah which is a huge source in the upper corner here in northwest Tennessee. Two small markets and two huge television markets which are going to add up to some big dough-re-mi. That is most likely going to be on the mind of anyone even thinking about getting into the primary race.

One thing that John Tanner did very selflessly is give a one-year’s notice because whoever runs in this primary is going to have to have some jack. Already there is talk of a Dr. Ron Kirkland seeking the GOP slot out of Jackson. Other candidates names being tossed around for the Dems are Philip Pinion, Doug Jackson, Judy Barker and Mary Kate Ridgeway (and in the spirit of disclosure, I used to work for her husband, Don, when I was a program coordinator at NWTEDC.) More names will pop up in the next few days, I’m sure. The domino effect will also be into play regarding the 24th state senate seat. Who will seek the 24th if Roy were to win? If that person is already in office, and as an example of Barker/Jackson who haven’t decided yet to run or Mark Maddox who says he won’t seek John’s seat, who will seek their office if that scenario were to come to fruition? I’m thinking long term here, of course. And I’m not really talking about Jimmy Naifeh because I just don’t know if seeking this seat at 70 years-old is going to happen. Who knows? Willie Herenton says he will run against Steve Cohen, so one never knows a definitive answer with those two guys.

No one wants to talk about money for campaign races during economic times like these. And with this one getting national attention, you can bet the  parties in Washington are observing carefully what what is being said around the state. I also believe, because of the 8th’s high visibility, that we are going to see Mainstream Media more involved in this race. Sometimes they get involved, other times they don’t. As of this morning and since Tuesday, there were more than 300 news stories on Google talking about Tanner. He is a co-creator of the Blue Dog Democrats. He has the NATO thing going on. This time, I think you are going to hear a lot of traditional press.

The bottom line in this early time in the game is that this race is going to take a great deal of funding, it’s going to get a lot of attention and those Republicrats that tended to vote for Tanner (and they did) are going to be weighing their vote more heavily because this area has suffered huge job losses in recent history which is much of what I’m hearing being discussed. Tanner is what they knew and although not everyone adored him, he was well liked creating almost a new brand of voters for those in the middle who weren’t tied to a party line all the time for the past 20 years.

With what appears might be a crowded field on both sides, it’s going to take a lot of cash to get attention to win that seat.

Stephen Yeargin writes of a conversation he had with a young man who was barely keeping his head above water after an accident.

David was involved in a serious car accident earlier this year that had left him bedridden. The glass repair job was a fairly recent development for him now that he was back able to work again. His girlfriend had quit her stable job to take care of him during the day because there was no one else that could look after him, and obviously a paid caretaker was out of the range of affordability. He and his girlfriend were looking to move out of their home and into an apartment, an inevitability now that the hospital bills were coming due. As he scraped off the final piece of sealant film, I could tell that he was embarrassed for having shared that much about himself, but those were just the facts of his situation. Find a smaller place, keep working as much as he could, try to stay above water with the hospital bills. I have a lot of hope and confidence in David, but I also know the harsh realities. He likely was not supposed to be back at work yet, but the bills were not going to pay themselves.

The entire post is excellent. As someone right now who doesn’t have insurance after this unemployment bout of Aught Nine, and is still paying off medical bills from last year, this is very real to me and a lot of people.  I’m currently looking for another part-time job right now just so I can have the luxury of health insurance and pay off my existing healthcare bill that I owe.  Sometimes it is scary for folks like David and I but we do what we have to do.

Anyway, Stephen’s post resonated with me.

Updated: More from @dancedivam who is hearing the same things I am.

Over the weekend, during my weekend in Memphis, I met Adrienne Pakis-Gillon who is the democratic candidate running against Brian Kelsey in District 31.  It was a casual introduction where we talked briefly about the state of politics in the state and I found her to be very passionate and vibrant.

After our conversation, and I realize that I can only speak for myself, I found myself pondering why we democrats here in the state haven’t been pushing her candidacy more.  I take responsibility for my own actions here as I haven’t written about her either. She is a life-long democrat and having talked to her, the things that she spoke of gave me pause because she isn’t getting mired down in wedge issues (something Kelsey thrives on) and instead discussed practical solutions to issues affecting her district and the state as a whole.

Remember, not only will she be representing her district, she’ll be voting on legislation that would impact the entire state. And let’s review briefly how Kelsey has been, which has had shades of moving up the political ladder as his main objective.

Let’s take the time machine back, campers, to January when Kelsey was what Kleinheider called the “stuntbaby” and where Jeff Woods reported this as well:

First, Rep. Mike Turner accused Kelsey of making a nervous wreck out of Rep. Susan Lynn by filing an ethics complaint against House Speaker Kent Williams based on his supposed sexual harassment of her.

“Susan Lynn is in the hospital [Wednesday], and in my opinion, I think Brian Kelsey put her in there and I think his behavior is terrible,” Turner told Channel 2. “I think it’s sour grapes.”

Now, Turner and House Democratic leader Gary Odom say Kelsey offered to lay off Williams in exchange for a committee  chairmanship.

In those posts, there is a statement from Kelsey on what he was thinking back in the first days of the last legislative session here in Tennessee.  You can see a time-line here of what happened.

Now, we could talk about Kelsey all day long, but I return back to the issue at hand. As democrats, we need every seat we can get right now. We are looking at redistricting, our state has 10.5 percent unemployment and we need folks in Nashville who can see the big picture and not get mired in wedge issues for personal gain. Kelsey did that this year and I think he will do it again.

We just don’t need to shrug and say “whatever.” The democratic party in this state has done that for far too long. We may not agree on everything, but the one thing is we need to be is united when it comes to not disenfranchising good candidates who would be representing all of our interests in Nashville, no matter where we live. Pakis-Gillon needs voices and bloggers can help with that.

We can support her campaign by talking about her. Kelsey doesn’t need to be just handed a senate seat without a fight. As democrats, I think we need to talking about this race and we need to be lending our voice to Pakis-Gillon.

Although many of us can’t vote in this race, we can still put a flashlight on Memphis right now. We don’t need to be complacent at this point.

You can read more about Adrienne Pakis-Gillon and you can also join her Facebook. Just check into what she’s about and maybe write about it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about blogging over the past few weeks and how things have changed since I started doing this. I’ve talked to several bloggers, and then I read this by Busy Mom, and I realized I wasn’t alone.

1. I’ve recently thought about hanging up the blogging thing. My community has changed, and I’m not sure what I think about that.

Despite the fact that it may look like I have already done so, I probably won’t.

However, I do admit to being discouraged by several things, including a sharp increase in online smug self-assurance and righteousness in the name of “discussion”.

When I started blogging, things were a bit different. I was gainfully and fully employed, I thought it was the coolest thing I’d done in awhile and it was groovy. I really had no preconceived notions about what would happen because I was living in the moment. And, then again, there was Brittney Gilbert at NiT that brought a community of people together. Funny and poignant, Internet evangelists, political junkies and a cast of characters that came together as she guided the new boat through the choppy waves of the Tennessee blogosphere. Those relationships have pretty much stayed pretty strong, be it online or blogging relationships that evolved into real friendships. We had a sense of each other. We came together despite geographical location and it was of the good.

Times change and because we don’t have the original NiT anymore (although I am a friend of Christian Grantham who had to weather the storm after Brittney’s departure), it was different.

Morphing into the future, there have been efforts to regain the steam that drove a unified network of bloggers in Tennessee, but none have, or ever will I suspect, garner that sort of community again. As I don’t live in a metropolitan area, I’m not given the option to go to the new phase of tweetups, geek breakfasts, social media gatherings without several days of scheduling and planning, I commend that this things are happening and that they are very powerful in establishing community.

The issue that I go back to is what Busy Mom said. I thought about hanging this thing up. It was in the cards a few weeks back but then I went to BarCamp Nashville and I realized that it was my responsibility to have fun and feel relevant with my online presence. I did, however, think of putting my hat on the rack and keeping the computer in its’ bag. I have, however, started to have a good time with it again because I realized that blogs have peaks and valleys. The online community changes and it’s good to know that rolling with the tide isn’t always a bad thing.

This goes for Newscoma as well.

Last week’s blogger brouhaha that occurred when a Memphis businessman and blogger was nominated, and then dissed in a meeting got me to thinking about the state of the Tennessee blogosphere. And it was Jackson Baker who said this:

Which brings me to the Ross controversy, which I haven’t weighed in on up until now. I have from time to time over the years tipped my hat to the independent blogging community. Though most blogs are oriented to point of view rather than to objective journalism per se, the best bloggers have made enormous contributions to news coverage and thoughtful consideration of the public weal. Everybody else — the CA, the Flyer, the TV and radio stations — have had to take note. Increasingly, blogs break important news, and no self-regarding “traditional” journalist can risk not having several blogger URLs on their computer bookmark lists.

And then Michael Silence wrote in his weekly deadwood column this:

And once again, we learn how rapid and responsive online networking can be.

Both journalists validate that as bloggers, we are making a difference. Be it as entertainment value, social change or just being a part of a community, I was reminded that I am still part of an online community. A sad fact that I’d forgotten for some reason. It was good for me to read Busy Mom to see I wasn’t alone. And Say Uncle hit the whole Joe Brown controversy on the head quite well.

Our evolution here in Tennessee for each and every blogger is personal and very real. And we are part of this state whether folks want us here or not.

So there is the story. Take it for what’s its worth. Hell, I’m just a blogger. Wanna see a picture of a turtle?

I read that Pop Tunes in Memphis closed their doors this week. If I had known it was coming, I most likely would have set a puptent outside their doors and cried a bit.

You see, Pop Tunes is the place where Big Daddy and I used to shop. He owned jukeboxes before he retired and once a week, he would trek from Hoots to Memphis to pick up the 45s to load them. When I was a kid, Billboard magazine was always at his shop, and he would diligently look for what was going to hit the Top 40. He would make a list of what the thought would trend and then head to Memphis and on some occasions, we would get to go with him. Homer and I were usually allowed to buy a cassette or an 8-Track while the shop owners would go to the back and pull the songs, sometimes dozens of copies to go onto each jukebox.

You may understand my joy and love of a good jukebox now. It’s a part of my history and a good one is always sort of hard to find. I’m not talking a CD/Internet box, but the ones where you can hear the scratches on the vinyl when a song has been played too much because it’s beloved.

I would always go through the records and touch each album cover while I was in Pop Tunes. It got to the point that the store clerks knew my sister and my names, and they always greeted Big Daddy with a smile. He was a regular and they would talk about what songs would be a hit, and which ones wouldn’t. Inside the store, there really wasn’t much to see except swinging fluorescent lights and it was a bit junky, in retrospect. But there was the music, the stories of Elvis and Johnny Cash, the smell of cigarette smoke and cardboard dust, but it didn’t matter. We would look through everything and we loved it. I went years later, and it hadn’t changed much other than the 45s were pretty nonexistent at that point and store clerks were relegated to the parking lot to burn one.

My father still has a Wurlitzer in his house now that he’s retired. Every one of those ancient 45s ready to play once you push the buttons for the song of your choice came from Pop Tunes.

I realize the older I get, I grieve the small things. Pop Tunes was a large part of my childhood with my father.

I will miss it.

“You take my life when you do take the means whereby I live.”

William Shakespeare

This is where we get into the emotional part of being unemployed.

If this is going to be too much for you, here is a photo of a puppy named Foster who used to live here. However, let me say, there are huge valleys that accompany unemployment on a feelings level and instead of pretending it doesn’t exist, let’s take a look at it instead.

Rejection is a mighty hard beast to fight.

When you initially lose your job, people are actually quite wonderful and tell you that you’re gonna be okay. However, when you are in the middle of it, it’s hard not to feel like water is running into your lungs and that you’ll never breathe again. The kind thoughts of others are absolutely great, but at the end of the day there can be an overwhelming sense of desperate loneliness.

People do mean well, but if they aren’t living it, they aren’t going to get it. It’s that simple. And I send you to Ginger who gives a wonderful list of things that folks say that are meant with the utmost of love, yet can trigger those of us who are bit older and never been faced with this dilemma before. As she says, it’s not like we asked for this roadblock.

It’s just part of it. I did a bit of research on the emotional warfare that goes on within our very inner beings regarding unemployment. I realized that our friends, family and loved ones can see that we are in a temporary life cycle that will pass. But, seriously, don’t feel bad about feeling bad either.

Stuffing all those overwhelming feelings deep inside of you can create a great deal of stress.

I realized after having been out on the pavement this summer that I have always identified myself with the job that I had. As I have a somewhat niche chosen profession, there were times that I just didn’t know who I was anymore. Now, six months ago, I would have told you that the theory was bunk. Alas, it’s true. There is an overwhelming feeling that somehow part of my identity was stripped out of my body.

Who am I now? What do I want to do next? Does anyone want me? In some ways, it’s like going through a divorce or the loss of a loved one. I think we all go through stages of grief and loss when we find ourselves unemployed.

No one is playing the victim here. Emotions are very important to any aspect of our lives because it is the essence of who we are. Losing a job is loss but, for the most part, people don’t want to know about the touchy-feely parts of our lives. Let’s be honest, there are good people out there but when they hit their end of the day, the biggest thought on their minds is what’s going on in their own  homes and what they are going to have for supper that evening.

That’s NOT rejection, it’s just reality. We are human beings.

It’s hard though, doing the Mary Sunshine act all the time, and the best advice I can give you is not to deny yourself when it starts hurting YOU. It’s best to take a vacation than live in a pretend world where rainbows and unicorns are expected. I’ve been more fortunate than most.  There are days though that I wish to stay at home and hermit out. I think some of us just sit down and cry sometimes which is actually quite cathartic. Little things that once would have been no big issue turn into Greek tragedies. Last week, I had a virus. I had backed everything up on a Passport external hard drive EXCEPT my resume. This weekend, I’m having to totally recreate the damned thing again. For some, this would have been a small blip in the road.

For me, you would have thought the house had caught on fire and Satan was sitting in the living room eating tacos.

Although I can only share my own experiences, I find that remaining social is important. I meet friends, I try not to talk to much about what’s going on and when I specifically do need a shoulder to lean on, I am upfront about it.

Tennessee isn’t any different than any other place when going through the very real consequences of losing one’s job.

There are only a few things I can suggest (and some of them come from me making mistakes regarding my own experiences.)

1. Don’t slack on taking care of yourself.
2. If you are in emotional upheaval, don’t go looking for a fight.
3. If you need a shoulder to cry on, pick and choose wisely. You know who your real friends are and if they are your friends, they will take care of you when you are down.
4. Don’t burn bridges just because things aren’t going your way.
5. Don’t embrace your depression over your lack of job because it’s easy to do that. It’s sometimes hard to realize that you’re depressed, but when it hits you, do something you’ve never done before. Go walk in the park, go have a beer with your friends, volunteer with a local organization that helps others. (I will have a whole post on that later.) Get outside yourself. Karma is pretty cool and small things can be given back to you that will help with the negative emotions that you are feeling.
6. Go out and see what lurks beneath. You may wonder what I’m saying but this summer I have had a great deal of joy talking to people that I’ve know forever and finding the story within the story. As a writer, this has saved my sanity.
7. Seek joy.
8. Yes, our self-esteem is battered. Realize that that is a symptom, not the problem. Don’t get me wrong, the problem is VERY real, but on the other hand, nothing is thrown at us that we can’t handle.  I was told recently the secret in finding my footing was within myself. No one is going to love/need us for their business if we don’t love ourselves.
9. Obstacles can be mourned, but they don’t need to be roadblocks.
10. If it gets too bad, go talk to someone. If you don’t have the money due to the elimination of healthcare, try this. And also take a look at symptoms you might not recognize that could be big signs that you are in a depression. Have you ever heard of situational depression? This could be the case. As this article says, “sometimes life sucks and it gets you down.”

Now, I realize that some of that might be a bit trite. It can’t hurt either. Just be yourself and, you guys may have to remind me of this later on, realize this is just a temporary bump in the road.

Emotions are more than all right. And it’s best to wade through them before they get higher than our heads in dealing with unemployment. Yes, we have some very real battles, but on the other hand, so did the people that came before us.

Our next post will deal with maintaining your online image, the hazards of seeking employment online and resources that are positive and helpful.