Newscoma

My random observations on pop culture this week aren’t that pithy or clever, but I did randomly observe them so there is that.

1. Donny Osmond will remain in your tubes with ebbs and flows forever. The man constantly reinvents himself. (And, yes, I did like his song in Mulan. Shut Up. Yes, I did watch him when I was 10-years-old because I had three damned channels and I was 10.) I don’t watch Dancing With The Stars but I do read Entertainment Weekly and dude won.

2. I’ve seen all the controversy on Adam Lambert’s appearance on the AMA awards this week. I have two mindsets on this. Once again, I don’t watch American Idol either, so what I’ve seen of Lambert is peripheral. First of all, I don’t have children but I can see this upsetting parents. My Facebook account has shown that it wasn’t by any means appreciated from the people there and I understand that. As a matter of fact, I think that’s completely appropriate. Letters have been sent to ABC complaining about his performance and the last I heard was roughly about 1,500. On the other hand, for three solid days from a social media perspective, we’ve seen him trend on Twitter with a huge blast of support from his fans there as well which people haven’t been talking about, he’s been interviewed a kajillion times and that’s the kind of publicity you can’t buy. He reminds me of David Bowie (I know, call me Captain Obvious) and because I’m an old codger without kids, my first reaction was that his vocal performance was very pitchy (my mother was a singer, so I play critic sometimes on vocal live performances which, however bad, are always better than lip synch crap.)

Was the simulated sexual act over the top, yes it was way over the top in a live performance and was nothing more than shock value and gratuitous but I’ve seen other stuff too that sort of shocked me on the tubes. Was Lambert kissing a dude over the top? No. Been done a million times by other performers not just between two guys. He pushed open a door where people are talking about freedom of expression/gay rights and that’s not bad. So I see this from two perspectives.  Do folks have the right to be upset about simulated oral sex? Yeah, their feelings are valid. Everyone’s feeling are valid. Did Lambert kick down a door? Yeah, but people have been kicking this door for years and it needs to be kicked. It was a reminder more or less. Remember when they wouldn’t show Elvis’ hips on the Ed Sullivan show because he was too sexual. Back then, that was scandalous as well so I have been keeping that in mind.

I remind you I’m a codger butt.

So I see both sides where this issue is and it’s intriguing to me, especially in the day and age of the Internet.

3.  Zhu Zhu pets are apparently the toy of the year. I am constantly perplexed on the world of robotic pets.

4. Thanksgiving Horror stories are over at Gawker. There pretty dang good if you are into that sort of thing as I am. The Huffington Post also has Thanksgiving quotes that might tickle your spleen.

5. Also in the Thanksgiving vein, I offer you the impossibly optimistic website called “Gives Me Hope” which is smaltzy and did, indeed, make my eyes well up because I’m a silly nostalgic woman. (Pssst … don’t tell anybody.)

More turkey nonsense.

As the old saying goes, it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye, or the cops show up.

I’ve been thinking a lot about community and politics, development both personal and professional and how sometimes we are paralyzed by the things that make us unique. As I wrote yesterday, the holidays are always a mixed bag for me. At least once during the holiday season, which for me was yesterday, I choke up and freeze. I am a selfish person at times, as most people can be, thinking of not what I have, but what I don’t have.

Yeah, it’s humbling when you realize you acted and thought like a rabid goat. So know that I’ve confessed my humanness, let’s move on to things to be thankful for.

1. Nutella because it is awesome.
2. Pickled anything because it is awesome.
3. Grilled Stuffed jalapenos because they are awesome, especially Cowboy Newt’s recipe that has shrimp in them. (Do you see my drool just thinking of them.)
4. Swing dancing because it makes me laugh and this would also apply to square dancing although I would like to pretty myself up in one of those skirts. How would anyone not think I was a sexy beast in a square dancing skirt? No, I am not lying.
5. White gravy from the local Dairy Queen on french fries because it is awesome.
6. Brian Setzer
7. The term Arroganced To Death may be my new favorite saying. I want to put it on a T-shirt.
8. Squirrel Queen and I’s wonderful thanksgiving dressing that came from my mother, and her mother and goes back about five generations. It’s one of five dishes I know how to cook and it’s one that I do well if I say so myself.
9. Good friends who don’t let me get away with anything, but who also give me love and encouragement when I need it.
10. That I’m unapologetic of using the word awesome in this post.

Now, go be kind to each other while I try to figure out what else to be thankful for. In the past four seconds alone, I was reminded of V8 and Alka-Seltzer.

I have no idea why I am smitten with animals in clothes.

From our friends at Shoebox

“It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses.” –Colette

I’m going to talk about what I want to right now. Look at this picture of an aardvark if you want to walk away because I’m going to talk about death, loss and the holidays.

There is navel gazing in blogging. So I get my turn today because I can.

I miss my mom.

She died 11-years ago and I damn well miss her. It’s the holidays and this is always a messy time for me. I found myself profoundly sad last night about Thanksgiving and the entire Christmas season. Now, no worries, this happens for a lot of people and I believe it’s best to talk/write about it. I think significant events like the holidays bring up certain memories for people who have suffered a loss. Although time heals many things, there are reminders and triggers that bring up that loss, that invisible, gaping hole which nothing can fill.

My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer one week before Christmas in 1996. We knew something was wrong before we “conned” her into going to the doctor because she hated doctors horribly. By the time we got her there, the tests were pretty conclusive and the doctor told me in the hallway that it was bad.

She lived for 14 more months after that and every day we watched her slowly fade away. The worst part is that she knew she was fading away as well and that is something I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to experience or to see. It’s a little bit like hell on earth watching someone die a little piece at a time.

Fast forward 11 years to now. Traditions have changed in my family. My dad remarried, my sister has two daughters who are enmeshed in their own lives which are filled with school, sports and friends where the holidays send her to visit her husband’s folks away from Hoots and my extended family, although large, never really spent holiday times together. So the smells and tastes of Thanksgiving have changed and I’ve been fortunate enough to have a place to hang my hat on Turkey Day. I do, however, get nostalgic and sentimental though, missing those years of family bonding.

Her turkey and dressing, experimenting with different foods, the fact that my dad doesn’t really like turkey (he’s having Japanese this year for his Thanksgiving dinner which I think is fabulous) or how that we would literally starve on the Wednesday before the big day because my mother always forgot to get any additional things to eat (this was a running joke in my family.)

The year her dog, Girl, ate our dinner. The time we had a huge cactus as a Christmas tree and put little red balls on it to celebrate. The year she planted a Christmas tree in the yard and named it Rufus (I get my weirdness honestly). Staff Christmas dinners at my dad’s old company where we would all dress us and have a great time. My mother laughing at me when I would make dressing sandwiches (carbariffic). How she always burned the rolls (every, single Thanksgiving and Christmas.) How my father wanted (and still does) to go to Wal-Mart if it’s a holiday. The movies we went to on Thanksgiving. How my mother never really recovered from her own mother’s death from breast cancer and where she felt these same things during Christmas, which my grandmother loved more than anything. How she could never smell Chanel No 5 without seeing the bottle that my grandfather gave my grandmother every year without crying. I feel the same way when I smell a hint of Youth Dew, which only my mother could wear successfully (it makes me sneeze when other people wear it these days.)

How she wasn’t afraid to give us a hug and tell us we were her everything. And, you know, she meant it.

I remember the joyful things. And I miss them. I have made new traditions but I still become a nostalgic ball of mush thinking about my mother.

Thanksgiving is really a hipper holiday than one might think. We eat roast bird and as a faithful Southerner, I could eat my body weight in dressing.

Dressing is the only thing that keeps me going. No, we do not do stuffing as I am not as a big of a fan of it as I am dressing. Shoving the stuffing mixture in the cavity of a corpse of a turkey just isn’t my thing although if you enjoy it I am thankful that you do. We all need to enjoy something.

Dressing: where bread stuffs are shredded and tons of sodium infused chicken juice is mixed with onions and celery, just might be the greatest invention of poor farmers looking to make a dish with recycled cornbread and biscuits saturated in sage ever.

I love me some dressing. And as foodstuffs go, I can actually make dressing. It is excellent passed down by womenfolk in my family who slaved for days in the kitchen throughout generations of Thanksgiving celebrations. I am also an excellent driver.

Thankful I am for this I tell you in my best Yoda voice.

In the past, I went through a bah humbug period regarding Thanksgiving but I have found going to Squirrel Queen’s family’s farm is just about perfect and my melancholy has changed into pure joy. You may remember that last year we invented the Turkey Dance. Actually, her mother invented the Turkey Dance as I can’t take credit for this fine sensation. Forget Dancing with the Stars, the Turkey Dance is just about perfect.

I am still unsure what a giblet is but I have learned as I grow older not to ask questions as there always repercussions of having too much knowledge about what I eat. It is best to be blind about such things.

I have been thinking about what I’m thankful for. First of all, I’m thankful for Mabel who will be begging in my feet this evening as we eat the roast bird. I am thankful for Miles O’Brien as I saw installment three of “In Search of Aliens” this morning regarding alien abduction. I am thankful that I still have a paycheck. I am thankful for Alaska who has taken Sarah Palin back into their loving embrace. I am thankful for my friends who continually make me laugh and smile. I am thankful that as soon as the paper is out today, the staff is going to celebrate the holiday. I made this decision solely because I, as well, want to go eat food. It is simple as that.

I am also thankful for SQ’s mom’s corn casserole. It is just about to die for. This, alas, I cannot make.

So because you must understand history, the real meaning of Thanksgiving is explained by Lindsey’s cats which I’m also thankful for. I do not have cats at Chez Coma but I appreciate a good feline in a pilgrim hat and Indian head dress.

The only bailout you will see in Hoots this year is my hope that once I’m done consuming roast bird, that Squirrel Queen will haul me around in a wheelbarrow as we will be on a farm and it will be a living testament to my gluttony.

Good times.

We torment them.

I give you a video of Squirrel Queen’s mom, who had no idea that I was shooting a video of her at the Thanksgiving Roast Beast celebration.

Listen for her “Heh” at the end.

[youtube=[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D0qsYVRIfE&rel=1]

Yeah, it’s the Turkey Dance.

The woman really has rhythm. Seriously.

1. I am as bloated as a pregnant Kangaroo. Although I realize kangaroos are not indigenous to northwest Tennessee, I think if you came to my house you might say in surprise “Man, you look like a bloated kangaroo.” This, alas, would indeed happen.

2. The storm here last night was so fantastic and wonderful that it took me more than 30 minutes to realize I was sitting in a carport watching it that was completely made of wrought iron with the wind whipping my hair about while lightening cracked over the river leaving a dark world alight for brief seconds which was so fantastic I cannot put it into words. The wrought iron was something I needed, most likely, to take into consideration but I didn’t. I surprise myself sometimes by ignoring important details, but I lived and it was wonderful so it all came out well.

3. I can indeed eat sweet potatoes covered in marshmallows by delicately scrapping the horrid white stuff off the top and it tastes pretty good. (Don’t like marshmallows in the least.) All is well though because I don’t like merangue on pie either and I scrape that off too (I call it cow slobber.) There is always a compromise that you can find if you lookhard enough and are willing to meet in the middle and you might find it can turn out quite to your advantage.

4. Mabel is the best dog in the world because she went out to Squirrel Queen’s mother’s farm and got along with a new, very nervous, very yappy teacup poodle. I am quite thankful for Mabs. She’s a good one.

5. This is the first Thanksgiving in 12 years that I really enjoyed myself so much that it was almost painful. A delicious time that I also cannot put into words, but just wanted you to know, after a very tense year, I felt my heart was right back in the place that it needed to be.

And for that, I am grateful and give thanks to things I cannot see.

Happy Thanksgiving, campers. Thank YOU for making this fun. I really appreciate it. The family thing awaits as does turkey, dressing, pickled okra, beer…

You know, the standards.

Have a lovely holiday and see you on the flip side.

Photo from The Boat Lullabies, which is FANTASTIC.

I think you guys might want to check this out.

“UNSETTLED” THE WORLD’S ONLY ZOMBIES VS. PILGRIMS MOVIE!!! In 1585 a group of English settlers landed near present-day North Carolina. These pilgrims expected wealth and prosperity from the untouched land but instead recieved famine and hyperthermia. Their eventual fate has been unknown UNTIL NOW!!

LEARN WHAT HISTORY BOOKS NEVER TAUGHT YOU AS THE WESTERN WORLDS FIRST ATTEMPT AT COLONIZATION GETS FOIBLED BY ZOMBIES IN THIS HISTORICAL ORGY of VIOLENCE and GORE!

This was sent to me by J.D. Rainer.

Of course, it’s all true. I KNEW IT!

History books never tell you the real stuff.

Gary Sandy’s flybacks make me laugh.
[youtube=[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o5L9jiIfbY&rel=1]

I love me some Les Nessman. Yes, indeed, I do.

Yesterday, I was working on some projects from the homestead and decided to cook chili for the groovy chicks at work. Of course, if you have ever eaten my cooking, you might decide that this was not a gift although I must say I had some good intentions about it all.

I only ruined one shirt, the dogs didn’t throw up after eating an onion and a can of biscuits (for dressing I’m making this evening) which fell on the floor. Yes, dressing is one of the five dishes I can make successfully from a recipe from my mom. I dropped some water on the floor and my dog Duff slid on it and went flying into the pantry because I’d left the door open. (This was excessively funny. I guess you had to be there.) I made more noise dropping pots like nobody’s business. I also learned that ovens have timers.

I got mad skillz, I tell you. Mad Skillz.

I did pretty well with the stirring of the chili though and sometimes it’s best to look at the positive side of life and decided to document the atrocities on Twitter. It entertained me. Thanks saraclark, Russ and Ginger for hanging out with me for a while online on the “Will Newscoma-Blow-Up-The-Kitchen Watch”. I really do adore you guys.

If Homer reads this (she is on holiday for the next week), I didn’t break anything other than your dog’s stomach. Oops.

BadgerBeth came over to sample the chili and deemed it edible. She didn’t die. Another good sign from the hills of west Tennessee. We haven’t seen much of the Badger lately as she has been, da-da-dum, seeing someone who we are meeting later this week. Cool beans for Beffers. And our buddy, the Beccster, also came over and we had a lovely time. She also had some chili and didn’t die. We also imbibed in a fine frothy hopps and barley beverage after I cleaned things up. (Homer, I really did clean things up, you would be so proud. And the dishwasher didn’t ever explode.)
There was no death at Chez Coma last night and not one person even got food poisoning. Now I have to figure out how to get six quarts of chili to the office but I think I have that covered. A good sign for a fine Thanksgiving week.

Badger is also going to go with us to the farm at Harris Station this year to celebrate Pilgrim Day with Stephanie’s family.

This should be fun.

Of course, these are small things we are giving thanks for this week. No death by Newscoma chili, good friends, dogfriends not suffering from gastronomical issues and no food poisoning. Woot.

Because we aren’t having an office Christmas party this year (budgetary stuff from the home office in Wichita) I’m wondering if I should delve into throwing a bash for the groovy chicks at work. I wonder if I can get Home Ec-101 to sponsor it or at least give tips on how not to burn the house down. If you are wondering, I never took Home Ec. I was in Drama Club and “Swing” Choir. Yep, I’m one of those. They might be able to answer the age-old question of how someone non-domestic becomes domestic or something. They also might just pray for me. That might work as well.

One more day of herding cats before some down time before the holiday. Something we all need.

On a final note, light a candle for a buddies Slartibartfast and Lintella. We are thinking of you from the west of the state.